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So basicly she broke off with me two months ago because of indifference. We both shared different values, we could not connect great and we did not match. Those were her words tho. I declined that POV but it did not matter so it was over.

 

Point is as follow.

 

I felt like sh*t for a long time and still can't seem to behave normal. I feel this energy flowing constantly. I somehow still can't believe it's over and we never spoke since our last break-up talk. To be honest, i was madly in love with that girl and we had so many good times together. We had so many laughs, so many trips, we went away almost every weekend to festivals, parties, long trips, etc. I can honestly say i've never felt so authenticly in love with a person. It was so humble, i did everything for her.

 

After she broke off with me, i kinda went crazy and moved mountains to "get over her". So i took motorcycle lessons, bought a motorcycle, sold my house, my stuff. Went for visa, paid my debts, etc, etc. I'm finalizing at the moment, nearing the point where i can hop my bike to go for a loooooooooooooooooong ride around the world.

 

I am also reaching the point where i don't give a sh*t anymore, but that takes away the initial urge to travel the world. Kinda weird.

 

At six weeks after our break she sent me a msg. If i would like to join her birthday party.

 

I was still very bitter and so i replied i was not planning to come, but we could however meet another time within a few weeks.

Now i am anticipating this meeting and i ask my self. Why would i do such a thing?

 

The one reason i can think about is to rant extra about what went wrong and why "we should mary and live for ever after together".

The other reason i can think about is to see her face again. Hear her voice and maybe smell her fumes again.

To rekindle my own feelings and remember why i went into that mental frenzy in the first place, after she broke it all off. With the intention to relive that coping of loss, setting another stage of anger and use that to leave for ever.

 

Kinda twisted if you ask me, tho. But hey. She wanted to meet.

 

So what would be a good course of action? I see some scenario's.

 

- 1 - We set an arrangement to drive our bikes. We meet at one point and as soon as she arrives, i start my bike and we hit the road, without creating an opportunity to talk to each other. Just driving. We do this for an hour or so. As soon i've gotten enough of it, i'll just take the left lane and we split up (without letting her know) and move towards the horizon to be never seen again. (symbolism)

 

- 2 - We set an arrangement and we'll meet. We drive a bit, have phun and park our bikes near the pond and have a chat, smoke some sigs and chill.

 

- 3 - Rant everything i have to say, become a complete moron of what went on in my head for the last couple of weeks, she will most likely piss her pants laughing and take my respect.

 

- 4 - I do nothing. I will leave. She will never hear from me again.

 

====

 

But really i have no clue. I think i only want to see her face again. To see again where my love went to and to linger what once was. Make amends with her and myself. Only for me this time to end this and say my final goodbye and let go for ever.

 

Any thoughts? Have anyone did something like this before?

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I would not have this dramatic "final meeting." You are broken up. You refer to your "last" break up talk. That is the only "last meeting" that you needed. You let go in your heart and mind.

 

Unless you have personal items of hers to return to her, I would not meet up with her. Going to her birthday party will only set back your healing. You have made radical changes in your grief over this relationship - I can see paying your debt - but giving up your house and all instead of letting yourself heal and see how you feel in 6 months to a year?

 

So - leave her alone - don't see her face. If you run into her in a year or two by true accident, that's one thing, but don't do this to yourself. You have pictures where you can see her face.

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A lot of people long for a closure meet-up. In my personal experience and based on many accounts I've heard from friends and strangers online, meeting up after a breakup is never a good idea. It sounds like you are a long ways away from being fully healed. Seeing her is going to rip off the scab and reset your healing at this point. Nothing will be gained from being dramatic in the meeting, either by suddenly riding off on your motorcycle or going into some rant about why she should have married you. My guess is, your ex is offering the friendship card or looking for an ego stroke. Don't give her either.

 

As a final note, a lot of people make crazy plans right after a breakup that they don't follow through on when they start to feel better. It's totally normal. Don't read too much into it. If you're trip around the world was based solely on your breakup feelings, it's likely not a good idea anyway.

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I can see the point now. It's an easy trap i guess. I asked for friendship to be honest but it was in the heat of the moment. I don't think i will reply her anymore and just drive off when the time is right.

 

When we first met, we talked a lot about traveling (together). It was at one point we both wanted to leave everything behind and just go. But then mayhem happened. I really have no other option than to proceed in what i want most. The plan was there, now it's time to execute it. No matter what.

 

I have no job but a sh*tload of cash.

I have no debts

No wife

No mortgage

No kids

I am (w)healty and relatively young

I also live in this appartment for about ten years.

 

It sounds radical, but i dont feel like going to Kathmandu for a week or two and "find myself - let go of" to eventually go back to the same boring life.

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Get on that bike and start your big ride around the world. Go by yourself. Dont see her. There is less than no reason to see her, what do you think you will accomplish? As soon as you start your travels and have a few adventures, you'll forget about her which is what you need to do.

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Man, all I'm going to say is I dont think meeting up and suddenly riding off on her is going to get you the reaction you want or the satisfaction you're looking for. If a guy I broke up with did that to me, I'd know he was still hurting really badly and think he was some kind of weirdo. If you're set on the trip, great. Leave town and never speak to her again.

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What she said. There is no such thing as closure in these situations. You're just pushing each other further away and stalling the healing process. My advice is to abort but you won't listen to that...so just learn from this situation. It's NEVER EVER a good idea to meetup with your ex until both of you are fully healed. Cheers

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OPTION 4

 

Get on your bike and get yourself around the world. Doing similar was life changing for me and it will be for you too. Close that door, and NEVER go back. Always ride onwards, never back.

 

Could you explain what happened in your life while you were traveling?

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Brother, I can so relate to you. The heart takes a punch and the call for movement strikes. Answer that call first.

 

When my last relationship ended I got on my bike and rode west. Then I flew to Japan and rode around out there for a few weeks. Now I'm in California doing the same. It's THE BEST. Maybe in the beginning you're in something of a manic state—running from pain, trying to prove something, even hoping in some weird way that she "sees" you out there and sees everything she's missing. But then all that ego nonsense fades away and it's just you: wind, landscape, pavement, solitude, and a quiet power and strength that comes from inside. The pain is there, but it takes on new shapes, and eventually recedes into something more manageable, even something you become grateful for: a lesson.

 

It's clear that right now you're still trying to control an outcome with her. You're thinking in chess moves. You've got to let that go, and just do you. Do that first, see where thoughts and feeling settle.

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Brother, I can so relate to you. The heart takes a punch and the call for movement strikes. Answer that call first.

 

When my last relationship ended I got on my bike and rode west. Then I flew to Japan and rode around out there for a few weeks. Now I'm in California doing the same. It's THE BEST. Maybe in the beginning you're in something of a manic state—running from pain, trying to prove something, even hoping in some weird way that she "sees" you out there and sees everything she's missing. But then all that ego nonsense fades away and it's just you: wind, landscape, pavement, solitude, and a quiet power and strength that comes from inside. The pain is there, but it takes on new shapes, and eventually recedes into something more manageable, even something you become grateful for: a lesson.

 

It's clear that right now you're still trying to control an outcome with her. You're thinking in chess moves. You've got to let that go, and just do you. Do that first, see where thoughts and feeling settle.

 

Thank you, this makes perfect sense. These past two months were extremely maniacal. There was just no stopping power into achieving all of this. I made so many progress its insane.

 

I can't seem to understand how this energyflow manifest itself. If one would only take away the pain, there is a ton of other usefull energy to put into action. I can't really describe how it feels or where it stems from. But J^&* this is so fruitfull. Breakups are indeed a blessing in disguise.

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Thank you, this makes perfect sense. These past two months were extremely maniacal. There was just no stopping power into achieving all of this. I made so many progress its insane.

 

I can't seem to understand how this energyflow manifest itself. If one would only take away the pain, there is a ton of other usefull energy to put into action. I can't really describe how it feels or where it stems from. But J^&* this is so fruitfull. Breakups are indeed a blessing in disguise.

 

There's probably plenty more mania ahead. Embrace it, but channel it into you, your future, your adventures, not into a game of chess with her. It was somewhere out on the road where a really peaceful epiphany dawned on me: that I had zero control, and trying to pretend otherwise was just resisting the flow. Now I'm comfortable with everything being open to the universe. Maybe I get back together with my ex in 3 months, maybe in 30 years. Maybe I meet someone tomorrow and have a kid in a year. Who knows, who cares? In the meantime, I'm doing me, and while at first it felt a bit forced—like I am "doing me"—now it's become genuine.

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