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You won't get a relationship with this guy lol. He just wants sex.

 

I talked to my current bf a lot before meeting him and we had a fantastic 6 hour date. He ended up insisting he get me an uber and on the second date cos the chemistry was really good, he did make some comment about me going back to his to watch a movie. I looked at him, laughed and told him that's not going to happen, but it's cute he's trying. Anyway, he laid off the comments about going back to his for ages after and only after we became exclusive AND then when we were bf and gf, did I finally decide to do things with him.

 

This guy tried three times the first time he met you. He is lining up a booty call, not looking for a gf. If you want to chase that, be well aware of what it is. Don't romanticise it.

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You won't get a relationship with this guy lol. He just wants sex.

 

I talked to my current bf a lot before meeting him and we had a fantastic 6 hour date. He ended up insisting he get me an uber and on the second date cos the chemistry was really good, he did make some comment about me going back to his to watch a movie. I looked at him, laughed and told him that's not going to happen, but it's cute he's trying. Anyway, he laid off the comments about going back to his for ages after and only after we became exclusive AND then when we were bf and gf, did I finally decide to do things with him.

 

This guy tried three times the first time he met you. He is lining up a booty call, not looking for a gf. If you want to chase that, be well aware of what it is. Don't romanticise it.

 

I find it interesting that your own boyfriend pushed boundaries at first, then backed off when you maintained yours and stood your ground.

 

But yet you're telling the OP that since this guy pushed her boundaries, he just wants a booty call?

 

I'm sorry I must be missing something because this makes no sense to me.

 

As I said, most of my dates pushed boundaries at first. He's attracted, he wants sex. Pretty standard.

 

It's up to the woman to maintain her boundaries and set the pace, just like you did.

 

I don't think it's fair to say that just cause a man does this, he's only looking for a booty call.

 

OP, suggest something outside the house, and gauge his reaction.

 

If he makes excuses or stops pursuing, then okay he was only looking for booty.

 

But give him a chance for heaven's sake.

 

JMO!!

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A guy who meets at a bar, drinks, suggests sex and then doesn't follow up on a second date or even seems bothered for a second date, does look like he was only out for sex.

 

It doesn't take a mastermind to see that.

 

If he truly liked her, he would have at least been a gentleman and made another date by now, and a decent date like a nice dinner.

 

This guy is hemming and hawing and does not seem into anything more.

 

Waste of time as far as I can see.

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Well, I would be leery about a guy who you barely met wanting to get you up to his apartment alone on a cheap date. I think he's looking for nookie. And already it sounds like he's losing interest because you're not a pushover. If he doesn't ask you out on another real date, move on.

 

Def agree, Netflix and chill is code for sex. Do not give in because that's all he wants, if he gets it he is going to flake on you anyways.

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A guy who meets at a bar, drinks, suggests sex and then doesn't follow up on a second date or even seems bothered for a second date, does look like he was only out for sex.

 

It doesn't take a mastermind to see that.

 

If he truly liked her, he would have at least been a gentleman and made another date by now, and a decent date like a nice dinner.

 

This guy is hemming and hawing and does not seem into anything more.

 

Waste of time as far as I can see.

 

It doesn't look promising, I agree, however since the OP really seems to like him, I just don't see how it would hurt to suggest something outside the house and gauge his response.

 

IF he blows her off, or agrees but doesn't respect her boundaries and continues pushing, then she will know for sure that all he wanted was sex.

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He has already blown her off by taking ages to ask for a second date. Why keep pretending that he likes her? He wanted sex, she didn't give it, now he's dragging his feet.

No need to sugar coat that, it's more than obvious.

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I find it interesting that your own boyfriend pushed boundaries at first, then backed off when you maintained yours and stood your ground.

 

But yet you're telling the OP that since this guy pushed her boundaries, he just wants a booty call?

 

I'm sorry I must be missing something because this makes no sense to me.

 

As I said, most of my dates pushed boundaries at first. He's attracted, he wants sex. Pretty standard.

 

It's up to the woman to maintain her boundaries and set the pace, just like you did.

 

I don't think it's fair to say that just cause a man does this, he's only looking for a booty call.

 

OP, suggest something outside the house, and gauge his reaction.

 

If he makes excuses or stops pursuing, then okay he was only looking for booty.

 

But give him a chance for heaven's sake.

 

JMO!!

 

My boyfriend mentioned it once, and that was after we spent a lot of time talking. He never mentioned it again. He has also always been really consistent and straight forward. This guy wanted to get her back to his place three times on the first date.

He now isn't even asking her out and says he would rather netflix and chill.

 

This is a completely different situation.

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I'm with katrina on this. Even if he tried 3 times for sex, it doesn't mean it's all he's after. If we were to place money on it, sure I'd go for the "he's only looking for sex" option, but it's not a bet and it involves two human beings of which we don't have all the info on.

 

I'd ask for a date with no drinks involved just to make sure.

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Agreed Honeycombe, this man set everything up for a quickie, she didn't put out, now he's not bothered...need we say more?

 

I know I'm gonna seem crazy now for backtracking, but okay guys you win! lol

 

I get it! :D

 

I guess the question now is, why is the OP still interested?

 

I must've missed a few things in my first read of this thread, but if a man continued pushing after I told him no the first time (which is disrespectful imo), and never asked for a second date except a netflix and chill, that would be a turn off for me, which would make nexting him quite easy!

 

So to the OP, what's so appealing about him? You only had the one date, correct?

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OP, every guy you meet will tell you that he is looking for a relationship....doesn't mean with you or right now. No guy is going to look at you and go "listen you are hot, I'm horny, how about we boink and then never speak to each other again."

 

If you are looking for a relationship, this man is not it for you. If you are looking to get laid, just call him up and suggest netflix. Pretty sure you'll get a quick rise out of him (pun intended). If he was interested in dating you and getting to know you, he'd have already nailed down the next date with you even if you both have scheduling issues - actually all the more reason to make sure a date gets set in stone. He isn't asking because he is not that interested, but he might string you along as back up for awhile, aka keep up the pointless texting.

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This guy wanted to get her back to his place three times on the first date.

 

Gawd, this is confusing; I just went back and read the entire thread again, and try as I might I did not see where he tried to get her back to his three times!

 

He asked her once from what I read. She said no, he didn't push after that and offered to drive her home.

 

And from that some of you are inferring that the only reason he offered to drive her home was to get sex?

 

How about he wanted to be a gentleman and see that she got home safely since she clearly had too much to drink?

 

Then he said next date would be a nice dinner.

 

Okay, he hasn't asked her out again, so that's questionable, I'll give you that.

 

But again, I don't see from what she's written that he pushed her three times to go back to his.

 

To the OP, I say wait and see and let this play out, since you really like him.

 

You can either take the initiative and suggest getting together outside the house, or be patient and wait for him to.

 

If he suggests a "netflix and chill," tell him no thank you, and suggest something outside the house.

 

Gauge his reaction, that is the only way you will know for sure.

 

Best to not assume to know what goes on in a guy's head, a futile waste of energy! lol

 

Just maintain your boundaries, gauge his reaction, pay attention to actions and let it play out.

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Gawd, this is confusing; I just went back and read the entire thread again, and try as I might I did not see where he tried to get her back to his three times!

 

He asked her once from what I read. She said no, he didn't push after that and offered to drive her home.

 

And from that some of you are inferring that the only reason he offered to drive her home was to get sex?

 

How about he wanted to be a gentleman and see that she got home safely since she clearly had too much to drink?

 

Then he said next date would be a nice dinner.

 

Okay, he hasn't asked her out again, so that's questionable, I'll give you that.

 

But again, I don't see from what she's written that he pushed her three times to go back to his.

 

To the OP, I say wait and see and let this play out, since you really like him.

 

You can either take the initiative and suggest getting together outside the house, or be patient and wait for him to.

 

If he suggests a "netflix and chill," tell him no thank you, and suggest something outside the house.

 

Gauge his reaction, that is the only way you will know for sure.

 

Best to not assume to know what goes on in a guy's head, a futile waste of energy! lol

 

Just maintain your boundaries, gauge his reaction, pay attention to actions and let it play out.

 

 

That's correct, he did only suggest once that I was welcome to come back to his house after the date. I declined. He said he only meant to watch the show we both watch before bed. It was obvious to both of us that he wanted more, but he didn't push. Then he offered to drive me home, but it wasn't in a pervy way. I said I would just grab a car and he was polite enough to wait with me and walk me to the car. He really wasn't being a creep. He said the next date would be a real meal.

 

The next day he texted. He asked what I was doing that evening. I took a bit to respond and then he said his friends had convinced him to go out. He said he would rather be watching the show we both watch and chilling. I told him to have fun with his friends and that my dog would be my tv buddy for the evening. He said my dog was fortunate and we said we would have our chance later. There was never any direct invitation for us to do anything inappropriate even if the texts were flirty. He sent me some heart emojis.

 

Following day he said he wished he had stayed in the evening before. We joked that he wasn't out with the right company and he said he planned to fix that in the future. Next day he texted just to say hi. Today I texted. He responded immediately. I had a really busy day and told him about a dinner I was going to. I asked if he had ever been to the place as it's a private club. He's never been so I said that if he's nice I might take him for a rooftop concert in the summer. He said that he's always nice. We bantered a little and his last text included a kiss emoji. I didn't respond.

 

I'll see if he texts today. I've made it clear that I want to go on another date with him. I don't actually think he is a bad guy or after just sex. Before our date he would text me before noon daily. We've still talked daily, but the interest definitely seems to have waned. Unfortunately, I think I could have made a better impression. We talked a lot before the date and there might have been too much pressure on things. I was nervous and he might be a bit disappointed that I wasn't on my best behavior (so unlike me). We both got out of serious relationships last summer and haven't dated much since. I would really like a chance to go on a proper date and try it again.

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This:

Before our date he would text me before noon daily. We've still talked daily, but the interest definitely seems to have waned.

Is directly related to this:

he did only suggest once that I was welcome to come back to his house after the date. I declined.
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It sounds like he's dating others. Also, calling last minute for that night is typical booty call. It sounds like you're into him, so a nsa relationship/fwb is fine if it's what you want.

He asked what I was doing that evening. I took a bit to respond and then he said his friends had convinced him to go out.
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It seems you want another shot to do things right, but has he asked you to do something again?

 

No matter what , don't forget that a guy who values you won't jerk you around. If he values your time, he doesn't wait days in between texts, or trying to see you. Just food for thought as you proceed with this.

 

I agree with SG (per usual) but remember you only had one date so best to try to lower expectations in this regard.

 

A man doesn't start "valuing" a woman after one date, it takes time just as it takes time for a woman to value a man.

 

Why not simply live your life as you've always done, continue meeting and dating other men and if he asks you out again, awesome! If not, oh well.

 

I have no idea what this guy's motives are but in any event you sound way too invested after ONE date.

 

And so what if he's dating others, at this point so should you be!

 

Try and relax, stop over-thinking and allow this to play out.

 

If he does ask you out again and you're not ready for sex, stat out of the bedroom.

 

It really should not be this complicated, after only one date.

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I'm legitimately curious, but why is it primarily on the guy to schedule another date? I've never online dated, so I have no idea about etiquette. Maybe he's waiting for you to suggest a time and place. Maybe he's insecure or not entirely sure you'd be up for another meet? I don't know, it seems outdated to sit back and wait for him to suggest something, when you're clearly wanting to see him again.

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I think it's too premature to judge what his actions or lack of actions mean from texting and a quick bar stop.

 

Not all men are the same nor do they have the same thought process when it comes to dating esp if they have been out of the dating world for a long time (can say the same for women). It's been two weeks only and OP is impatient. I say if you are the impatient one, pick up the phone and make a date. Therefore you can go from there and gauge just how serious he is about meeting you halfway and if he actually wants to have an actual date.

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I'm legitimately curious, but why is it primarily on the guy to schedule another date? I've never online dated, so I have no idea about etiquette. Maybe he's waiting for you to suggest a time and place. Maybe he's insecure or not entirely sure you'd be up for another meet? I don't know, it seems outdated to sit back and wait for him to suggest something, when you're clearly wanting to see him again.

 

To me it has nothing to do with how they met. Traditionally, men usually ask women for the first or second dates at least if they see potential for something long term or are looking for something long term. And in her case she's shown a lot of interest in seeing him again so the ball is in his court -nothing is "on him". If she thinks it's outdated and feels comfortable doing most of the asking going forward (which is typically how that plays out if the woman does most of the asking in the beginning) then they might be a good match if he accepts her invitation. I don't think she sat back at all -she showed a lot of interest in seeing him again - she kissed him for hours when she first met him, she responded enthusiastically when he mentioned wanting to see her again and making suggestions and it's in his court to now firm up plans. She also continues to text with him even though he hasn't firmed up plans. I think he's not because she didn't go back to his place and he was primarily interested in a sexual arrangement going forward.

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To me it has nothing to do with how they met. Traditionally, men usually ask women for the first or second dates at least if they see potential for something long term or are looking for something long term. And in her case she's shown a lot of interest in seeing him again so the ball is in his court -nothing is "on him". If she thinks it's outdated and feels comfortable doing most of the asking going forward (which is typically how that plays out if the woman does most of the asking in the beginning) then they might be a good match if he accepts her invitation. I don't think she sat back at all -she showed a lot of interest in seeing him again - she kissed him for hours when she first met him, she responded enthusiastically when he mentioned wanting to see her again and making suggestions and it's in his court to now firm up plans. She also continues to text with him even though he hasn't firmed up plans. I think he's not because she didn't go back to his place and he was primarily interested in a sexual arrangement going forward.

 

I'm not disagreeing with you B, but curious - do you have an opinion as to why he continues texting her being the only reason he has not asked her out again is because she declined his invite to go back to his on their first date?

 

I mean what's his motive for continuing to text if he has no desire to see her again? Why not just "ghost" (for lack of a better word after only one date)?

 

Genuinely confused by that.

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I'm not disagreeing with you B, but curious - do you have an opinion as to why he continues texting her being the only reason he has not asked her out again is because she declined his invite to go back to his on their first date?

 

I mean what's his motive for continuing to text if he has no desire to see her again? Why not just "ghost" (for lack of a better word after only one date)?

 

Genuinely confused by that.

 

Who knows? It can be fun to text with someone who is obviously interested (meaning for him, wouldn't be for me!)- could be an ego boost, or maybe he's bored - texting takes almost no effort, unlike planning and following through with a time and place date. I never assumed that someone who continued to email me or message me was also interested in meeting up again. I've become acquainted with potential friends through Facebook who regularly say some vague "oh we should get together" and if I suggest anything specific or ask them to -no follow through. Yet they continue to stay in touch. So they're interested to the point of having a chat buddy but not to develop an in person friendship.

 

Also some people tell themselves they are "trying" to date/meet people by chatting online.

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