Does he like me or not?!

[LastHope]

So I'll try and keep this short. I'm just a bit confused and unsure of a situation.

 

Last Christmas a work colleague who I have never met before (he moved to Canada before I started in 2015) came back over for a holiday and came to our Christmas night out. We got talking and he asked for my number. We went out before he went home and told me a few times he liked me.

 

So 5 months down the line we still talk, but he's so hot and cold. We've tried calling each other a few times but because of the time difference always seem to miss each other.

 

Sometimes he'll message me asking if I miss him. Other times he'll say he misses me and "needs me here". A few weeks ago he asked if I was going on holiday this year and told me to go to the same place as him so he can see me and then he'll completely ignore me for days. If I message him randomly saying sweet things he'll just ignore me.

 

Increasingly it seems he only messages me when he's drunk. Except from last Friday - I had an important work event and he randomly messaged me wishing me luck which was quite nice. He told me he was sober that night and messaged me the next morning too.

 

On the other hand, he ignores a good few of my messages weekly and I put on Facebook that I had just passed an important qualification and he never even mentioned it to me, no well done, nothing. But an hour later he messages asking what my plans for the weekend are. I know he was on Facebook because he tagged two people in something so must have saw my post.

 

I also tagged him in something on Facebook today that he would have liked but he never even acknowledged it, yet he replies back to everyone else.

 

Can anyone please shed some light on what they think is going on? Does he like me or is he playing some sort of game? What should I do? I know I'm probably stressing too much over someone who lives in another country and I'm not even sure he'll move back but it's so frustrating. He's so hot and cold and I don't know why. It constantly makes me feel like I've done something wrong.

 

Can someone give me some advice please?

[1tym]

Sounds like game.

 

Game for whenever the off chance you both meet. He can booty call you then.

[DanZee]

Yeah, why are you even communicating with this fool? Are you a glutton for mind games? Did you actually go someplace to meet him and he ignored you? You must have something better to do than to answer this guy's texts. Block him. Cut him off from your social media. Don't ever talk to this guy again.

[Andrina]

He started something with a woman who isn't local so he can occasionally have sex or engage in sexting without the commitment and effort it takes to be in a serious relationship. You've been played.

[MissCanuck]

He messages you when he's bored or not getting attention from local women.

 

I wouldn't bother trying to make this into anything more.

[LastHope]

When he does say sweet things he seems so genuine so it's hard to think he doesn't mean any of it. But you're all probably right, he probably is playing me because he's bored and what not. When he said, "it's so how good we get on but are so far away from each other" that should have been an indicator, right?

[Andrina]

Right. A few weeks ago he asked if I was going on holiday this year and told me to go to the same place as him so he can see me and then he'll completely ignore me for days.

 

If he had any real interest in you, he would've planned his vacation to be by you and also, the relationship would have progressed by now because of his efforts. Instead, he's asking YOU to travel to him so he can get a little something-something.

 

You need to learn the life lesson that running hot and cold and not putting any effort into getting together and progressing the relationship squelches anything he says.

[LastHope]

Thanks Andrina for your advice. You're right, if he liked me he would make more of an effort and do something about it.

 

It's a bitter pill to swallow I guess but one that needs to be swallowed. If he messages me again trying to be sweet I'll need to tell him to stop doing it.