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I started cutting when I was about 7 or 8, my older cousin was doing it and I was getting bullied so I tried. I'm now 15, and well I've been 'clean' per say since August. But anytime I get sad or stressed or anxious(I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression, so all of the time bassically) I start to get what I can only describe as withdraw. I sweat heavily, I get cold and hot flashes, I get fevers and aches in my body. It feels like a tention migraine but it's in every single artery throbbing to the beat of my heart. It ends up being followed up by really bad thoughts and I ended up cutting and it fixed it. Am I addicted now? I've never thought this was cool I've tried so hard to stop but it seems to be the only thing that'll work or help.

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Well, it is a kind of addiction. You feel bad and cutting will make you feel better. Just like with any drug. But you need to find a different way to manage your stress. You might want to check with your school counselor to see if you can get into a group therapy session that might be held at your school or somewhere close. You can read more about it here: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/cutting-self-harm-signs-treatment#1

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Ask you parents to take you to a doctor for a full checkup. Be honest with the doctor that you are have depressive self injuring thoughts. Therapy would help you navigate all these negative feels better than self destructive behaviors. What's going on at home and at school?

 

Your "soulmate" committed suicide when you were 11 years old? Who was this "soulmate"?

I'm now 15
04-10-2018: My soulmate killed himself awhile back, ever since I've been throwing myself into a new relationship as soon as one ended.its been about 4 years. I guess what i'm actually asking is, how do i not grieve and be constantly sad?
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I'm 24 now, I used to self harm but haven't since I was about 17. Self harm is something you can be psychologically addicted to. You've wired your brain to rely on the physical pain to make sense of the emotional pain you feel. You must find another way to focus your energy. Try to replace the habit of self harming with something else. Go for a long walk, do jumping jacks, write in a journal, even snap a rubber band against your wrist.

Please listen to me, as someone who has experience with this. I have scars on my legs that I will probably have forever. Even though I've long since grown away from the person who used to self harm (I no longer identify with this person) I have lasting reminders that will never leave my skin. I can't wear shorts or dresses without having to be confident and ignoring stares from strangers. It is NOT worth it and the consequences could last you for the rest of your life. Please tell your parents or an adult you trust about this. It's an illness and it's something that a doctor can help you heal. Trust the adults around you and please tell them. You don't have to hurt this way.

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I've gone to doctors my parents found out two years ago, I'm not exactly close with them. All the doctors did was say get a therapist, which we didn't do because I never took it serious because it wasn't like I did it all the time just when things got too stressful, I have slot of bullying going on at school right now which I'm trying to handle, I've talked to the councilor but no one can help.

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Are you in a cult or trying to escape from one. Arranges marriages generally don't happen in the US where you list being from. Why aren't you allowed to go to doctors?

I've gone to doctors my parents found out two years ago, I'm not exactly close with them. I don't know how to explain it, it's a thing with my family's religious beliefs, we were destine to be with eachother, like arranged marriage.
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Hello Faith,

Sorry to hear of the challenges that you are facing especially with bullying and feeling alone in the circumstances that you find yourself in. You mentioned that you spoke with your family two years ago about hurting yourself? Do they know that it is still something that you are struggling with? If you feel that you are not able to approach your parents about the bullying or hurting yourself, do you have any other trusted adults in your life that you can talk with? Is there a teacher or counselor from school that you trust that can help you talk with your parents? You mentioned that your family has some religious beliefs. Is there a pastor that would be able to help you speak with them? I hope that you are able to establish a good support system and that you know that you are not alone. Praying for you..

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