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So to be honest, I'm tired, I'm tired of being the one to blame all the time. I'm sick of this stupid family and their stupid expectations! All they want is someone to blame their s*** on! And they chose me! Now my aunt blames me; my sister blames me; my brother blames me; my father blames me because I am not too good of a daughter. Why? Because he says I don't love him enough! Just what the h*** does he want?! I've been serving him since my mother died! I've listened to him whenever he has wanted to! I have stood his stupid family members even when I detested them!! I've taken care of my younger siblings since my mother died! I've become like a substitute wife for him and now what?! He goes around telling everyone in the family I don't love him enough?! That all his "soooo precious" money went into waste on me, on all these years he had to take care of me and pay for my education, because now "I" don't love him enough?! Just what the h***!!

Just what does he want me to do?! To kiss his f***** feet?! He doesn't even let me talk! He doesn't like me to talk! He never listens to me or my feelings; he doesn't care how I feel! All he wants to hear is "everything is fine" "I love you", like I am a robot giving love because "it is my obligation to do so!"

 

He was always working away from home! He was always having sex with other women! He would come home drunk! I stood all that! I did! I only lowered my head and silenced. Now he says I don't love him enough and that he "wasted" so much money on me?! Now my aunt hates me because he left crying to her telling her I am a bad daughter?! Ughhh! If he was going to be like this, why did he have children to begin with?! He should have had abandoned me! If he was going to see me as nothing else but a burden, then why even bother?! It is unfair and I am sick to be told I am the one who is "not good enough". He's never been any "kind" with me. All I hear from him is how amazing he is; how he is so much better than me; how much I owe him; how stupid I am because I am a woman and how I have the obligation to serve him because I am a woman! How much I wish I had been born a man!!! I hate being a woman!!

And then what does he do? When I try to approach him to have a talk. He only rises the TV's volume or looks at his facebook like "I don't care what you say". Then what the...?! What does he want?! If I stay home, I'm a burden. I f I made an intent to leave, he says he will attempt suicide. Just what does he want?! He wants me to change myself, but f*** he won't change his sexist mind!!!

 

He wants me to love him when he tells me I am stupid for being a woman; he wants me to love him even when he forces me to cook for him, serve him, wash the dishes for him, pretend that I am fine all the time so that he feels relaxed when he gets home... because he is too old to change. He can't nor will change his mind about women. News in my country is that now husbands are murdering their wives, what does my dad think about that? That's great! Kill them all!! That's what he said.

 

If life was going to be like this, I'd rather have never been born... they should have had an abortion. I'm sick of this!

But I've made my decision. I'm leaving home without telling him and I will pay every single f***** penny he spent in my education with my job! That's what I'll do!! So we are even!! And I am never ever ever getting married or having kids, after all they are but a burden!

After all, I am but an investment. Nothing but a emotionless pawn who repeats "I love you" , "I love you", "I love you", "I love you..."

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You've got to move out and get that house you've been thinking about. Your father can take care of himself. He'll have to when you move out. You're not helping him, you're enabling him by serving him. I don't even know why you believe the garbage your family is saying. Get out and go be happy.

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