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I don’t know why in particular but I’m finding today hard. It’s been 3 weeks since my ex ended our relationship and in general I have been doing ok. I have been keeping no contact but she has been in touch to say that she misses me. I answered by saying I didn’t think it was a good idea for either of us to be in touch, that was about a week ago.

I find this time of day hard cause we used to chat on the phone during my commute. Every morning and every evening ... and in the evening. Today I just really miss her. I feel almost right back at the beginning again 😐

 

Now that I’m heading home I have to not smoke (gave up 4 years ago ) ..... not drink alcohol and not over eat !!! So what can I do lol already been to the gym today !

 

And does anybody ever feel that they will never meet anybody cause all the good ppl are already in relationships?

 

And stuff happened at work that I would really like to talk through with her but I can’t do that either .....

 

I know I’m just on a downer but I could really just break down and cry my heart out ... while sitting on a packed commuter train 😐

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What you are feeling is normal and common and the good news is that it will pass and you'll be feeling better and stronger again. So soon after a break up, these things tend to come in waves.

 

So, call on your friends or family. Maybe make a point of making some new friends. Hitting the gym is great, but how about finding some hobbies, something more to do to occupy your time and get you out socializing with people more. Don't just sit home - either get some chores done you've been putting off or head out even if just for a walk or to a coffee shop for a bit. Change your scenery and what you do. Maybe while at the coffee shop research things that you'd like to do or join. Focus on making some plans for yourself and it will help.

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And does anybody ever feel that they will never meet anybody cause all the good ppl are already in relationships?

 

Everyone thinks like this after a breakup until they can clear their heads and hearts of their ex. Here's the thing: By you getting as much time and space from her, eventually you will be able to start seeing positive things in your daily life. It may not be tomorrow or next week, but it will start to happen.

 

Once your head starts to clear from this traumatic event, you'll also recognize that a lot of people that you would classify as "all the good people that are taken/in relationships" aren't always happy either. Also, this statement (that we all use during recover) is indicative of wanting a "quick fix" to the pain that we are in.

 

Sorry man, there ain't no quick fix. The question is whether or not you can find the strength to make yourself a better, stronger man in every way so that when you come across a woman (who checks more boxes than your ex did) that is available, is interested because she sees value in who and what your are, you'll be ready emotionally to deliver on what her initial impressions are. Right now, you're not there.

 

Take as much time as you can before trying to find someone new. As someone who dated every available woman on the market immediately after a breakup in the hopes of being able to accelerate my recovery through a rebound relationship, I can tell you that its a waste of time, money and energy.

 

Congrats on quitting drinking and smoking. These are big victories and you should be proud of this.

 

Keep up on the good work and let us know how you're doing.

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Thank you everyone for your responses. They were very helpful 😀 I did end up out for a long walk along the beach in the sun so it was lovely. It’s a good idea to make some plans for the future. Unfortunately I can’t afford to go on holiday this year but I should still be able to make some short trip type of plans.

 

I know your right at going out and meeting ppl but I’m not very good at that ! I’m nearly 50 and just find it hard to be sociable ! But I should spends more time with the small group of friends I do have.

 

But on cue I got a text last night at 11 pm asking if I was around!! Where else would I be ! I didn’t answer but it’s hard not to. I know why I must not answer. But now I’m trying to guess what she wanted .... I guess she just needed some support and I had been that for her before and she seems to think I will continue to be that for her. But I won’t. But I will end up being distracted all day !!!

 

Thanks to everyone, this site is very helpful to me.

Edited by Scotty123
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.... I guess she just needed some support and I had been that for her before and she seems to think I will continue to be that for her. But I won’t. But I will end up being distracted all day !!!

 

You did the right thing and do not reach out to her. Its funny how no contact works like this....

 

She gave you up as a resource as part of the break up and as far as you should be concerned, your time and life are off limits to her unless she indicates that she's ready for another try at a romantic relationship. Do not accept friend zone with her.

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