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I don't know what to do anymore


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Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting into a lot of arguments; like more than 2 arguments a day. I know that it i is very unhealthy and I feel like no matter what I do its not good enough for him. Just yesterday I finally gained the confidence to tell him that my ex bestfriend who is a guy basically catfished me by some guy I used to have a huge thing for, this went on for almost a year and then another year later my ex bestfriend just told me that it was him all along, and keep in mind he just told me this a couple of weeks ago (I hope I didnt confuse you there). My boyfriend new about him and how he was my bestfriend and before I knew all about the catfishing he told me he didnt want me to talk to him anymore. I have been in a abusive toxic relationship before and to me this wasnt okay but I still did has he wished and stoped talking to him. Until my exbestfriend hit me up on day and told me he really needed to tell me something and how important it was- this is when he told me about how he catfished me. So last night I told him and he hung up on me so fast and I called him back and we were talking about it and now hes assuming that I never was bestfriends with him that I liked him and that I did all this stuff with him like slept with him, kissed him, had a relationship with him, all of that. I never had feelings for him ever. Hes so pessimistic and trys to catch something nonexistent trying to catch me in a lie when I am not lying about any of this what so ever. He keeps asking him question after question and being so disgusting about it to me. Calling me a liar. I told him I wanted to talk about this in person ( we are in a long distant relationship ) because I know how we get and I knew it would be better and easier for us but he didnt want to he kept pushing me to tell him. I blocked my ex bestfriends phone number and on snapchat I did not block him and honestly theres no reason I didnt block him. So now my boyfriend things that I am hiding something and that he thinks I deleted messges from him and I which is false and was so mad at me that I didnt block him. So when I finally did block him today after our huge argument last night about it he got mad and then said im hiding something since I blocked him. This is where I feel like I can never do anything right. And everytime I try to call him out on things I can tell hes lying but gets so furious and twists it on me when I try to go further with it. Like earlier today I recall him telling me that he blocked his ex awhile ago but he never did and then was mad about it and I told him that just shows something is up with you guys if you cant block your ex like I did with my bestfriend and then he never wants me to talk to other guys and he didnt want me to talk to my ex best friend anymore because of me talking about our problems but he went to another girl at his work today and talked about our problems. I love him so much and I know he loves me and cares for me back but he always gets everything so twisted and I dont know what to do or say anymore to make things better. We always say how we will try better but its always the same thing.

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How long have you been dating? How often do you see each other in person? Why are you going on and on and on to your bf about your catfishing ex male best friend? What is your point with that?

Lately my boyfriend and I have been getting into a lot of arguments; like more than 2 arguments a day. I told him I wanted to talk about this in person we are in a long distant relationship.
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Sounds like you are involved in yet another toxic relationship. On top of that yes, he is controlling and he keeps trying to accuse you of cheating. Cheaters tend to do that - put you on the defensive so you don't have time to call them out on their lies and discrepancies. Food for thought for you. You can't talk to him, you can't confide in him. By your own admission you had to work up courage to confide in him - I mean the person you are dating should be your best friend and supporter, not someone you have to work up the courage to talk to.

 

OP, you need to end this toxic cycle, tell this guy that this isn't working for you and that it's over. Then, take a long break from dating and men and think long and hard what attracts you to this kind of toxic dynamic. Maybe even consider some counseling to help yourself sort this out so you don't keep making the same mistakes over and over by getting involved with toxic guys.

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