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Loss of respect from eachother?? can it be fixed.


canada123
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Long story short i had a long hard week found out im losing my job and just been stressed non stop so anway had a pretty bad fight with my gf... it started because at a wedding dinner of all her friends, i found one person to have an interestimg convo as i felt a little left out- she tells me I talk to much in front of her friends yet proceeds to have a long and loud convo in spanish. felt hurt yet bit my tongue.

 

Later in the night i seperated myself and one of her friends says whats wrong and proceeds to keep poking me whats wrong whats wrong. i ask numerous times please dobt touch me leave me alone another girl says hey you dont need to speak to her like that. A third friend says to my gf i dont know what his f***ing problem is, she agrees yeah what the f*** .. i heard it all and felt a little betrayed ... im now twice as hurt and it escalated.

 

she leaves my house later in a cab then returns due to no money i pay it she comes upstairs then packs a bag and leaves. nos im really hurt and my roommates start quizzing me and eventually i vent and cry she had then i got mad and complained about how i was feeling unequal was it our age difference, he past, blah blah blah then conpared me to her ex and she had actaully returned and heard it all and says how can i be with someone who disrepects me and now wants to move out.

 

Yes what i did was bad/wrong but i also owned up to it. if all started with her not respdxting md and blew out of proportion due to drinking ..

 

 

Can resprct be earned?

I feel shes taking this the wrong way as we both wernt considerate?

She stated if i do love her just a but shed like me to let her stay for the next two weeks tk find a place...

Edited by canada123
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You need to take this glaring loud cue and make your exit and make it a permanent one.

 

Your girlfriend doesn't respect you---to the point where she's denigrating you in public and taking the side of someone who you asked not to put her hands on you.

 

If you'd taken her someplace and one of your boys started putting his hands on her and she told him to stop and you spun around on her and said "shut up--what's you're f**** problem?", her hair would be on fire.

 

You'd be far better off not dating the likes of her.

 

This doesn't deserve fixing. Leave it where it lies and move on.

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I'm a little confused. So a few questions before responding further:

 

When you say you separated yourself at the wedding dinner, what do you mean exactly? You went off and sat by yourself, or?

 

I can understand why you don't want someone poking and probing. That's plain irritating. But you say it then escalated - how so?

 

What is the age difference between you two, and what issues already existed in the relationship? I get the sense that her leaving wasn't about just this one night, so I'm trying to get a bigger picture of the context in which this blew up.

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I'm a little confused. So a few questions before responding further:

 

When you say you se4parated yourself at the wedding dinner, what do you mean exactly? You went off and sat by yourself, or?

 

I can understand why you don't want someone poking and probing. That's plain irritating. But you say it then escalated - how so?

 

What is the age difference between you two, and what issues already existed in the relationship? I get the sense that her leaving wasn't about just this one night, so I'm trying to get a bigger picture of the context in which this blew up.

 

everyone was stading talking i moved to the side.

 

im 26 shes 33. heres the bit thst you will all say yeah thats not good - i met her as a divorced women after 2 yeara of seperating from a 10 yesr msrriage.... i love her but i think she has to much hurt baggade that shes unware of.

 

escalated in her beimg upset me being mad and hurt to the point we had the fight that made her leave.

 

our issies include just lost my job tjat was helping me gget a permenat residenxe in canada (shes mexican and already as pr) so i tried discussing we can do commonlawand she refused to even cosidwr it which makea me feel ubstable as id only stay for her or id go back go australia

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Wow....she treated you in a way that was appalling and publicly humiliated you. To be honest, she should be begging you for forgiveness, not the other way around. You shouldn't stay for her as it's very clear this relationship doesn't have much of a foundation to stand on. Yes, she has issues. No, you aren't going to fix her or them. No, she is not in a healthy place to be in a relationship. Consider also that this might be the first time you are seeing some of the reasons why she is divorced.......as in this is who she actually is and you just got the first real taste of that. Remember that it takes time for people to show their colors and perhaps you are just now getting to that point.

 

If I were you, I'd focus on getting another job OR go back to Australia. Also, stick to dating women with less baggage.

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