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In laws hanging with husbands ex


Cilz
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I have never really been able to get advice over this situation and I would really appreciate any advice. My husband and I both had children with other people when we got married.

My husbands ex was with another guy when we got together and had nothing to do with my husbands family in fact she had never got on with his mother and had huge fights and falling outs all the time so then I came along and she agreed with my husband and I and courts to shared care with there 2 boys and that was great and we all got on with our lives 3 years later and I was pregnant with our second child and I found out my husband had been on drugs and I never new I was shocked but we worked through it and I forgave him but when all this happened my mother in law stopped talking to me for no reason I really needed support at that time and then I started finding out she had started a relationship with my husbands ex!!!! And not only her but my sister in law as well!! It hurt me so much my husband told them he didn’t think it was right what they were doing but they didn’t care... they started posting photos of them all together on Facebook and they were hanging out all the time then they started inviting my husbands ex to family gatherings to funerals camping Christmas brunch fireworks funerals weekends away snow trips ect. It hurt me so much they just turned there backs on me my sister in law even went overseas with my husbands ex and everything was posted on Facebook. Should I just except this? I no there’s nothing I can do but what do I do? Now my sister in law comes to our town and dousnt even say she’s here to us but she spends time doing stuff with my husbands ex and my husband brother hangs out with husbands ex all the time now as well he even calls her his sister? Any advice would be really appreciated

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If she has two children with your husband then she *should* have a healthy relationship with the grandparents of her children. Maybe they buried the hatchet and decided it was best for the kids if they were friends. I think you need to be careful not to create a family rift here --- that you decide to set a boundary that you will not attend casual meetups that she is at -- but you WILL attend weddings, funerals and other occasions that are important to the children. Depending on how long they were married, she is still family to them.

 

Yes, you should accept that that they had a relationship with her while she dated your husband and during the marriage and because she is the mother of their nieces/nephews/grandkids, etc, they have decided that she is welcome.

 

If they didn't have kids, i might think differently - but they do. So I think you should not ask in-laws or children to choose sides -- that you should invite your in-laws over to your home or to do things and not make a stink about them seeing her because that will cause a rift. So -- do things with these diffrent in-laws individually

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Depending on how long they were married, she is still family to them.

 

Yes, you should accept that that they had a relationship with her while she dated your husband and during the marriage and because she is the mother of their nieces/nephews/grandkids, etc, they have decided that she is welcome.

 

They were never married

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It's amazing that you are concerned about normal things like an aunt, grandmother and mother communicating, yet overlook things like drug addiction, drug use, jail time along with continued lying, secrecy, and most likely continued drug use/dealing.

My husband and I both had children with other people when we got married. my mother in law started a relationship with my husbands ex!!!! And not only her but my sister in law as well!! It hurt me so much
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Is he going to buy the car ($7,000)? I don't understand why you haven't thrown him out? You said he makes decent money, but only contributes $250 a month for everything. All of his money goes for him, and a minuscule amount ($250) for the kids and household.

 

Why is he still around?

Edited by Hollyj
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