Should I date her or not?

[KyleCruse88]

You will all think I'm stupid for even posting this, but it's causing serious concerns for me, so here goes...

 

A very close friend of mine has a crush on me, and it is mutual. I received credible information from a friend that she likes me and would say yes if I were to ask her out. I never spoke to anyone about this, and the details my friend gave me left no room for doubt.

 

So the problem is not that it's not mutual, cause it is. It's just a matter of whether or not it would work out in the long run. We have only a few interests in common, so I'm not sure how well we'll click. I'm looking for long-term relationship (marriage, etc) not just a date or a girlfriend. Since she's such a good friend I hate to ruin the friendship if I'm not sure. I just think I'm going to break her heart no matter what I do, even if choose to ignore the information and not pursue it. I love being around her and could see myself as her boyfriend, just not sure yet if I could be her husband.

 

Thoughts?

[Hollyj]

The most important thing in a relationship is common values. If you are friends, what do you do when together? Do you have a good time?

 

If you do not see a future, then don't pursue it.

[Blueberry99]

I think that if you feel like you have a strong connection with her, you should try. You can't say at the start of the relationship if it turns into a marriage, you will see during the whole process.

[DaisyMayPorter]

I think everybody worries about that. What if it doesn’t work out? Well, what if it does? You should probably talk about it before hand and say something like let’s stay friends if things don’t work out, let’s have good communication, things like that.

[greendots]

1. How long have you guys been friends?

 

2. What makes you love being around her? It might give you great insight as to why she could be suitable for the long-term.

 

3. Do you have similar lifestyles / do your lifestyles mesh?

 

When lifestyles don't mesh:

Example 1. Both love travelling. Her idea of a great vacation is to travel business class, sleep at 5 star hotels in major cities and hit the trendiest spots in town. His idea of a great vacation is to explore remote locations as a backpacker.

 

Example 2: Both are social and enjoying hanging out with people. Her idea of fun is to chill with friends at a nice burger joint or to have a casual bbq. His idea of fun is to host huge elegant dinner parties and attend large social functions (such as galas, banquets, etc.) on a regular basis.

 

 

When lifestyles mesh:

Example 1: Both love travelling. They travelled by car and are renting a cabin in the woods. Whilst he goes hiking in the morning, she spends it at a coffee house nearby. They'll meet later for lunch and then they'll visit a local art exhibition. Both also have similar spending habits.

[Kevin1995]

After reading your post it seems like you would not have much to talk about because she and you have different interest. If I were you I would still atleast give it a try and see where it takes you. It is important to have something to talk about in a relationship.