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Why would he do this?


jennylove

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I have an exbf that I am completely over, no doubt. But he still pulls st my heart strings since he was my first love. Anyway, every now and then he'll send me a text about how much he still loves me, thinks of me, and how we could be soulmates. A few years ago, I told him that maybe we should try to date again to see what happens. He said, no, because he had a gf of 1 year that he couldn't dump. That was 4 years ago. He's sent sporadic texts over the years claiming to love me so much which I ignore . And then today, another one. I asked him if he was single, nope, he's still with the same woman, he's been with her over 5 years now, not engaged or anything.

 

If he truly loved me, why would he waste 5 years on someone else. I don't know anything about their relationship, but 5 years is a long time to be together. I think if he was going to marry he, he would've asked her by now. So with that, why waste 5 years on someone you aren't going to marry for someone who you claim to love and want to marry. Makes no sense.,

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You are a fantasy. He doesn't know you. Think about how much you've changed from when you were close to him. He doesn't love you, he's infatuated with the idea of you. And only as a counterpoint to his real relationship. Because real relationships have struggles and hardships. Fantasies don't.

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It's an ego thing. He wants to see if you'll be his back-up plan in case things go south with his girlfriend.

 

He sounds like a jerk. Decent men don't send ex-girlfriends messages like that while they are with someone else. He obviously doesn't actually love either of you if pulls stunts of this nature.

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I should add that his message today was rated R....he dreams of Fing me for hours and wants to come inside me, how he's loved me for 25 years, etc . ehhh. Not my problem.

 

That's not proof he loves you.

 

That's proof he's a lying emotionally cheating d-bag who is trying to get you to help him cheat.

 

His actions shouldn't pull at your heart strings. They should have you recoiling in disgust.

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I should add that his message today was rated R....he dreams of Fing me for hours and wants to come inside me, how he's loved me for 25 years, etc . ehhh. Not my problem.

 

That's rated R? . . hmmm

What's X?

You say you are - no doubt over him . .if you were he wouldn't be able to `pull on your heart strings'

I would be disgusted by an ex that texted me that if he had a girlfriend.

I feel sorry for her.

Block him. He's not your friend.

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Thanks everyone! I guess I haven't blocked him because it's "whatever" to me. With other ex's, I block. And I'd be pretty bothered if a few ex's sent me this stuff. But him, it's whatever. Since posting this, I decided to go ahead and block him. I wanted to see what he would say if I tomd him I was blocking him. And so I told him that I've had enough and he's given me no choice but to block him. I thought he'd apologize or say something sincere. Nope. His response? "No block Jenny, no block blocky. I like talking to you so no block" ((roll eyes)). He's blocked now ;).

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Thanks everyone! I guess I haven't blocked him because it's "whatever" to me. With other ex's, I block. And I'd be pretty bothered if a few ex's sent me this stuff. But him, it's whatever. Since posting this, I decided to go ahead and block him. I wanted to see what he would say if I tomd him I was blocking him. And so I told him that I've had enough and he's given me no choice but to block him. I thought he'd apologize or say something sincere. Nope. His response? "No block Jenny, no block blocky. I like talking to you so no block" ((roll eyes)). He's blocked now ;).

 

Yay!!! Wasn't that refreshing? Champagne time! He's out of your life for good now!

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He wanted to be able to continue to emotionally cheat on his girlfriend with you. Notice that his objections to you blocking him were all about him wanting to keep having his fun. Nothing about caring for YOUR feelings.

 

Hopefully this will ensure he can no longer pull at your heart strings. His behavior shows him to be the selfish cheating d-bag he truly is.

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It was refreshing. I do enjoy pulling the plug on ppl who deserve it.

 

And Bolt, yes, I noticed that right away. Announcing that I'm blocking someone before I block them isn't my thing, but I wanted to see his response. Yes, he was trying to be cutesy and then it became about me me me. I was hoping for a "I'm sorry for these texts and I understand why you are choosing to block me...." lol

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Are you sure you're over him?

 

Is there distance between you?

 

I might get crucified for this, but I've been through this. And it was sincere. And he was with someone.

Just because your ex is still with the same girl doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings for you.

 

If I could relocate, I'd be with my first love right now. He can't move back here, he had two successful businesses he's running all the way across the US from me. I can't move because of my daughter. The love never died. We are very good friends we both got married, divorced, he came back for me. But I couldn't leave with him. We never lost contact. Asked me to marry him but I couldn't at the time. To this day we still have contact. We hang out when he visits, but platonically. We date others, but we both know we might get back together when I can leave here. If we are both single. It's like right person, wrong timing. Always lol

 

He might not be playing with you. But follow your gut. And if you're not interested, just ignore it.

It's not always a game someone is playing. You're still on his mind all these years later.

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Sweet,

I really do believe he still has feelings for me. It's not wishful thinking on my part, I know what we had between us. and I was a very nice gf to him and I helped him thru a couple of sticky situations that he was in. We've bumped into eachother a few times in our smallish town and I can see the love in his eyes. This is why I once suggested that we try again a few years ago. It failed the first time because I moved far away for employment and neither of us could afford a LDR at the time. But we are both financially stable now and set in our careers. I know it would work. But for his own reasons, he won't leave her. During our texts today, he told me he's moving to a city just outside of our hometown to be closer to his job. I asked if his gf was moving with him, and she is. oh, but he loves me. This is all his choice. I'm realllly ok with it all and not hot n bothered by his texts even tho he's now blocked. But I do find myself comparing myself to her and I don't understand what he sees in her. And I don't like being like that.

 

You and your ex have good reasons to not be together right now. I hope it works out for you in the bear future. My ex has no kids, house with her and imo breaking up should be easy. I know I wouldn't be with someone if I loved someone else and that person was wanting to give us another try.

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Sweet,

I really do believe he still has feelings for me. It's not wishful thinking on my part, I know what we had between us. and I was a very nice gf to him and I helped him thru a couple of sticky situations that he was in. We've bumped into eachother a few times in our smallish town and I can see the love in his eyes. This is why I once suggested that we try again a few years ago. It failed the first time because I moved far away for employment and neither of us could afford a LDR at the time. But we are both financially stable now and set in our careers. I know it would work. But for his own reasons, he won't leave her. During our texts today, he told me he's moving to a city just outside of our hometown to be closer to his job. I asked if his gf was moving with him, and she is. oh, but he loves me. This is all his choice. I'm realllly ok with it all and not hot n bothered by his texts even tho he's now blocked. But I do find myself comparing myself to her and I don't understand what he sees in her. And I don't like being like that.

 

 

But if it didn't bother you, you wouldn't have blocked him :) nor came here asking, but I get it, believe me.

So, did he give reasons why he won't leave her? Do they have kids or anything holding them together?

A guy can pick anyone pretty much to bother, it doesn't have to be an ex. It's been a heck of a lot of years.

I'd be wanting to know why he's not leaving if I wanted him, and then I'd cut contact and force a choice.

Still doesn't mean he doesn't love you. There's something there other then boredom after all these years.

Just my opinion. But...... hes with her, not leaving. My ex I mentioned did leave for me. He knew I was divorcing and came back. I just couldn't move.

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Oops I edited my other reply and answered some of your questions there.

 

I see it! Lol

 

Are you single?

 

I can't answer for him, only he knows but yeah if this bothers you then just let him go.

That sext text he sent you, was that random, or do you guys do that normally?

not judging! Just curious what your texts usually involve.

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Over the years, he'll text with something simple such as "hey how are you". I'll reply, and then he'll start with the I love you still texts... and then, yes, usually he'll send a sext. They usually aren't as X rated as today's sext. Normally it's something about my boobs to be honest.

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