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Bipolar- Anyone else have it?


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Does anyone else here have bipolar?

 

I have diagnosis since Dec 2015 when symptoms heightened and mine are atypical. I get manic but also paranoid with delusions and hallucinations and go into full psychosis. I was put on meds that were equally as tough for me. I basically fell apart in life being hospitalized these last two years and stuck in an LTSR (Long term structured residence).

 

It was the hardest experience of my life but then abilify took all sexual function from me. And then seroquel brought it back. Then latuda took it again. And vraylar brought it back mildly and im stuck on vraylar because it is only one that removed all my symptoms giving me the most clarity and stability.

 

It's been hard.

 

Have anyone else gone through something like this? I won't feel so alone if I hear at least one yes. I joined a bipolar support group on facebook too.

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I have been battling bi-polar for 15 years as well. You are not alone. ::big hugs:: I honestly just joined this forum to talk about my bi polar tendencies with regards to having relationships and how to act with the girl im seeing or dating whatever you call it.

 

I have choosen to not do medication during the day. (it causes too many sexual issues, I need to be able to have sex, I love it and feel its super important, maybe thats another issue of mine, haha) but I do take seroquel at night to sleep and I feel it helps with a little bit of stabilizing my moods. I go on these highs where I spend tons of money, have lots of sex and honestly my face will hurt from all the smiling and laughing and fun that I am having. But then after 1-3 days I come down, I get awful anxiety, I feel as though I am the worst, I feel like I have exposed myself emotionally to the people around me and then I sit in depression and feel as though I cant catch my breath. This is where I am currently.

 

Im assumming you are a girl, Sarah Jay? How old are you? Do you like the feeling of being on meds during the day? Do you feel you need it, as its made your life better?

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If you dont mind me asking, what meds are you on? I see seroquel yes. How is that working for you? I'm on vraylar with some lithium and yes sexual dysfunction -- you said taking it at NIGHT helps with that? I see my new doctor in june hopefully so I'll bring it up. Are you a girl or boy? yes I am a girl lol Does seroquel cause weight gain? I've heard it does

 

Im not giving out much more info about my age etc because I dont want to be identified. Im already using my first name lol

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I am a guy lol. I am only on the Seruquel, 300 mg at night. It helps to fall asleep fast but it does a little with the mania during the day. I was on depokote, lithium, I hated it. I felt so foggy and honestly it made me virtually unable to do anything sexually. That made me more depressed. So, now its just the seroquel at night, I feel as if taking it at night does help with the sexual issues as I really dont have any problems anymore. Ive never tried vraylar, just the lithium, but never again. Do you like it? May I ask how old you are?

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I struggle with bipolar with psychosis and take Latuda, was on Abilify stopped working for me when they tried to restart it after i stopped taking it for 3 years. My brother said Abilify made me flat, i am glad to be on latuda i feel like myself again. Been diagnosed since 2007.

 

The lies my ex il's told the judge is why i lost permanent custody of my daughter. I didn't have a way to fight word of mouth lies and i failed to show up because of it.

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Sarah- sorry I didn’t see your post about wanting to stay anonymous. I am in my early 30’s. I was asking because my responses would be different if you were really young, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t 17 haha. But, the Seroquel has given me no weight change, and no sexual issues. But like I said, I take it at night. With my career, I am high pressured sales closer for a timeshare company. I have to have the energy and wit and spontaneous ways about me to get people to buy. If I was leveled out on meds. I wouldn’t be good at what I do. But on the other hand, Everyweek I struggle with my mania and doing outlandish things and then the depression episodes. I think I would like to try meds but I’m just stuck because of my work.

 

 

Do you really think the lithium and vraylar really help?

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Both my brother and sister are bipolar. My brother is bipolar with psychosis. They've both been on a variety of medications. My sister doesn't seem to be get as comatosed as my brother has on some medications but she's younger and I think he's also on stronger meds. I don't know exactly they're taking at the moment. I believe my brother is getting ready to receive the monthly shot, but I think that's for the psychosis. My sister has more emotional outburst, unexplained crying or irritation and is usually pretty sensitive. It's rough because it effects her ability to form friendships. Many times her acting out has put friends off and they usually end up not wanting to be her friend or block her which breaks my heart because she is very aware of her problems and always feels awful and apologetic after an outburst but people are not very understanding and are quick to cut her off. Because my brother has phobias including paranoia and delusions he is more likely to cut others off and doesn't try to form new friendships. I have anxiety, depression and PTSD but am not bipolar. I have symptoms of Complex PTSD which usually are due to fear of abandonment. It differs from borderline (BPD) because I don't have the other symptoms. My mother actually has been spending like crazy, and we DO NOT have the money to spend. She always feels guilty but can't stop. I mention this because I remember reading recently that there was a class action lawsuit for I think Abilify- not sure if that was the one, but I need to look into it because she is taking that medication, or whichever it was that was reported. Medications can have all sorts of side effects, unfortunately loss of libido does tend to be one of them. I have no libido but mine is due to very low, almost none, testosterone. I wish I could say it bothers me but it doesn't. My last boyfriend and I had great sexual chemistry but he could never last long enough. Sex just doesn't matter as much to me as it did when I as younger I guess.

 

I'm sorry to hear you've gone through so much with it. I'm very close with my siblings and it has been heartbreaking to see their lives transform after developing BPD. It was like I was meeting a new person because my brother changed so much BUT it is not all bad. They both have a very colorful personality. My sister is artistic and her mind amazes me sometimes. We brainstorm on stories together. My brother makes youtube videos that are actually pretty hiliarous. He does't have the following he wants yet but I've watched some of them over and over and laughed to the point of crying. And he's just being his weird self. The person that came from being bipolar because he did not have that eccentric personality before. We try to make the best of it. Sometimes when my sister is having an outburst we get on Smash Brothers and beat up fictional characters to release her frustrations or go for a drive in the middle of nowhere and do yell therapy. It's just like it sounds except sometimes mixed with some profanity. lol.

 

It sounds like you're being proactive in your diagnosis and doing the best you can to adjust to the new normal. I applaud you for that. Not many people are as brave to own it, accept it and work towards building a new life. It is very challenging so you're doing amazing. Medication is helpful but it isn't everything. You need to be seeing a therapist regularly to work toward challenging feelings and moods and to gain tools in dealing with them. Being self-aware is half the battle and it sounds like you're working on that. If it helps google all the celebrities with mental disorders. You're certainly not alone. Mariah Carrey just got diagnosed as bipolar. It's literally everywhere. And just because they may seem to have a better handle on it but things are different behind closed doors and they too are struggling.

 

I'll be praying for you. Hugs.

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