Why is it so hard to move on?

[Larajuan]

I’ve been doing my best to move on but they’ll be times like today where I just remember her and it makes me miss her. She got a new boyfriend not even a week after she broke up with me. It makes me question why I wasn’t good enough for her and it hurts. She says she cares about me but then tell me that nobody loves me and I’ll be alone forever. I liked this girl a lot and it’s just so hard to move on knowing she went to someone else.

[SooSad33]

Omg... she is MEAN! That is totally nonsense :(.

 

Yes... is a real insult to see them move on.. like we never mattered. But some either were not as invested ( emotionally).

Some will never be 'able'.

 

Is normal to miss them.. feel the heartache, etc... well understood... *sigh*.

It is you trying to work on accepting this loss. Will take some time... few months at least, I assume.

Best way is to have nothing more to do with her. Nothing.

 

Avoid.. keep going.

[Larajuan]

It really hurts especially when she was already talking to him within the next day we broke up. I was trying to fix our relationship and she told me she had found someone else, that she regretted even letting me in her life.

[Al5]

It really hurts especially when she was already talking to him within the next day we broke up. I was trying to fix our relationship and she told me she had found someone else, that she regretted even letting me in her life.

 

man i dont want to be mean but GOD some people are blind. Sorry but it is extremely obvious she had something going with this guy, and broke up with you to be with him. If she doesnt care to rub him in your face, dude you are in a pretty bad situation. Listen, plenty of fish out there. Forget about her and get someone else, best advice you can get. Cut all communication if possible with her.

[SooSad33]

Yeah... so she was either really ticked off about something.. or very immature.

 

How old is she

[Larajuan]

Yeah... so she was either really ticked off about something.. or very immature.

 

How old is she

 

She was 19

[Larajuan]

man i dont want to be mean but GOD some people are blind. Sorry but it is extremely obvious she had something going with this guy, and broke up with you to be with him. If she doesnt care to rub him in your face, dude you are in a pretty bad situation. Listen, plenty of fish out there. Forget about her and get someone else, best advice you can get. Cut all communication if possible with her.

 

That’s what I said. She kept on denying it. Later on I found out that it was the same guy she had dropped me for a couple of months back. Clearly she denied it but something seemed really off about everything.

[SooSad33]

She is still imature re: relationships.

With all the insults, etc.

 

You will get over this.. in time.

 

Until she grows up mentally her reactions etc won't get her far.

 

In time.. you will see that she wasn't such a great catch.. and no loss. You dont need that bs.

[Al5]

That’s what I said. She kept on denying it. Later on I found out that it was the same guy she had dropped me for a couple of months back. Clearly she denied it but something seemed really off about everything.

 

99% of the time they will deny it, means nothing

 

dude the more you think about it, the worse you feel. Really you have to move on, im sorry but there is nothing to do

 

man i dont know how popular you are with girls, but the best way is just to get someone else. It is good to have a few girls with gf material as back up in case you are hurt by someone, it makes you forget in days

[SweetGirl28]

99% of the time they will deny it, means nothing

 

dude the more you think about it, the worse you feel. Really you have to move on, im sorry but there is nothing to do

 

man i dont know how popular you are with girls, but the best way is just to get someone else. It is good to have a few girls with gf material as back up in case you are hurt by someone, it makes you forget in days

 

 

Dude! Spoken like a true guy lol

 

You just divert the pain without dealing with the emotions and healing.

Does this work for you?

[Larajuan]

Dude! Spoken like a true guy lol

 

You just divert the pain without dealing with the emotions and healing.

Does this work for you?

I’ve tried to but they’ll be days where I can’t stop thinking about her like today.

[SweetGirl28]

I’ve tried to but they’ll be days where I can’t stop thinking about her like today.

 

I read some of your posts. This girl made you feel guilty, she was controlling, and she cheated.

And two break ups, right? You have to accept the two of you are toxic together. It's okay to miss her.

There will be good and bad days. Keep yourself busy. Do things that require focus. That way you don't have a lot of time to think of her. It's good to,post here, but don't go crazy reading things here when you're hurting. It keeps you stuck when you feel like you are reliving it. Good luck :)

[ArtyO]

I've had several relationships I had a very hard time getting over.

It's tough, but moving on and getting through the pain will make you a better person. As an example, when I 1st started my profile here back in 2011-2012, I was heart broken over a person. It was better for everyone involved that we move on and forget each other. She stopped all contact with me, and it killed part of me inside. Eventually after several months, I just healed inside. I dated other people, and shifted my focus.

 

Fast forward to this year, she found out a few months ago that I was living with another woman and reached out to say hello. I have been polite, but she is trying o re-establish a relationship with me 6 god-d@@m years after the fact saying she has never gotten over me, and always compares other men to what we had. She sent me an unsolicited butt-shot last night. I just have no interest, and love and adore my girlfriend who I am with now.

 

All this to say, things will get better, I know perhaps a part of you never wants to move on past her, and to have her in your life in some small way, but you are better without her. Focus on yourself.

 

Cheers.

[Larajuan]

I read some of your posts. This girl made you feel guilty, she was controlling, and she cheated.

And two break ups, right? You have to accept the two of you are toxic together. It's okay to miss her.

There will be good and bad days. Keep yourself busy. Do things that require focus. That way you don't have a lot of time to think of her. It's good to,post here, but don't go crazy reading things here when you're hurting. It keeps you stuck when you feel like you are reliving it. Good luck :)

 

You are right she just made me feel so guilty and I guess that’s why I’m stuck on it.

[Everlong13]

I've had several relationships I had a very hard time getting over.

It's tough, but moving on and getting through the pain will make you a better person. As an example, when I 1st started my profile here back in 2011-2012, I was heart broken over a person. It was better for everyone involved that we move on and forget each other. She stopped all contact with me, and it killed part of me inside. Eventually after several months, I just healed inside. I dated other people, and shifted my focus.

 

Fast forward to this year, she found out a few months ago that I was living with another woman and reached out to say hello. I have been polite, but she is trying o re-establish a relationship with me 6 god-d@@m years after the fact saying she has never gotten over me, and always compares other men to what we had. She sent me an unsolicited butt-shot last night. I just have no interest, and love and adore my girlfriend who I am with now.

 

All this to say, things will get better, I know perhaps a part of you never wants to move on past her, and to have her in your life in some small way, but you are better without her. Focus on yourself.

 

Cheers.

 

I always love reading stuff like this! I joined last year as I was really struggling to get over a break up. I couldn't stop thinking about him and cried every day. My friends and family were worried about me for a while as I was so down/lost. Just under six months after the break up I met a lovely guy and we've been together just over three months. It's still early days but he's a gem and I'm completely over my ex. In fact my friend said she'd seen him on tinder recently and it barely registered. I never would have thought I'd get to that point.

[James80]

I've had several relationships I had a very hard time getting over.

It's tough, but moving on and getting through the pain will make you a better person. As an example, when I 1st started my profile here back in 2011-2012, I was heart broken over a person. It was better for everyone involved that we move on and forget each other. She stopped all contact with me, and it killed part of me inside. Eventually after several months, I just healed inside. I dated other people, and shifted my focus.

 

Fast forward to this year, she found out a few months ago that I was living with another woman and reached out to say hello. I have been polite, but she is trying o re-establish a relationship with me 6 god-d@@m years after the fact saying she has never gotten over me, and always compares other men to what we had. She sent me an unsolicited butt-shot last night. I just have no interest, and love and adore my girlfriend who I am with now.

 

All this to say, things will get better, I know perhaps a part of you never wants to move on past her, and to have her in your life in some small way, but you are better without her. Focus on yourself.

 

Cheers.

 

Spot on. You always get better. Even if you retain a semblance if feelings. If the relationship was bad then this will become more obvious once the initial upset has gone.

 

When I split up from my first love I was devastated and it really took me over 2 years to get over it. Years later we reconnected as friends, she's married and I'm very happy for her. We talk once it twice a year.

 

I lost my fiancee to Leukaemia and that's a 'break up' of sorts that I will never get over. But I'll move forward. When I'm ready I'll meet someone else. That's just how it works.

 

My most recent ex, the reason I'm here, is a funny one. It was a short relationship but was basically due to her depression. In the process of recovery she has seemingly wiped me from her life. Hard to take as the relationship was really promising and it's been 5 months so far and I'm still not over it . But I've accepted it and I'm moving on.

 

There are Billions of people in the world and there are millions of people who would make good matches. Learn from every relationship. Don't repeat mistakes. Work out what will make you a better person and a better partner. Just keep moving forward! You'll be fine.

[Mikey383]

I read some of your posts. This girl made you feel guilty, she was controlling, and she cheated.

And two break ups, right? You have to accept the two of you are toxic together. It's okay to miss her.

There will be good and bad days. Keep yourself busy. Do things that require focus. That way you don't have a lot of time to think of her. It's good to,post here, but don't go crazy reading things here when you're hurting. It keeps you stuck when you feel like you are reliving it. Good luck :)

 

Totally agree with Sweets....

It is good to vent here, and get good advice....

Just don't get stuck and be "YOU"...

Got to keep moving forward...

Just don't force yourself doing something if you don't feel the connection...

if you start going out (because you are desperately looking for something and yet you are running into the wrong ones), don't do it... It will show... Don't be desperate, don't be forceful to yourself... And most of all don't compare the next person to the one you had... Keep in mind that you know what you like....So, be true to "YOU"... However, also keep in mind that each person is unique, so if you are looking to replace, that will not happen... Sometimes the universe has a reason to why it wants you to be single for a bit and not give you what you want... Perhaps it is to reflect and improve... Or just a way to heal... And don't be jealous of the ex partner... Who cares what they are doing, with whom, and why.... The path that they are on, is their path... Let that path work itself out...

[Kimbles1215]

Such good advice on here. recently ended it with my toxic ex, he messaged me yesterday asking for advice about a new job and I replied and then he replied and I ignored it and then he messaged me again later that evening and I replied but HE ignored it. Not the end of the world, relationship has been toxic for months but I do agree that keeping busy will 100% help.

 

Bumped into an ex who broke up with mexmas day 3 years ago and he told me he never got over me etc. He broke my heart badly, took me a year and half to get over it and he was with someone a month or so after we ended... That's was tough.

 

But you ex sounds like a nut job. Sack her off.. literally. I know its so much easier said than done because I'm going through the same but I was the one who ended it instead. We tried to work it out last week but we kept arguing he couldn't see he was ever in the wrong in the relationship and it took its toll on me and I had, had enough. Wish I never went back there and I wouldn't be back to square one again.

 

You have control of how your life plans out now, think of it that way. You can see whoever you want, meet whoever you want, do whatever you want. I know it's hard at this moment in time, all of us are going through a break up right now otherwise we wouldn't be on here. We're here to help and support each other even though were from all over the world. That's the great thing! Keep us updated, i8 know it feels sh** but time heals all wounds.