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Sorry to hear this. It's best to attend to your own well being. He's far away, doesn't want a relationship and isn't in a position to be helpful. Do you have friends, family or a doctor you could talk to to get help?

04-04-2018: Nothing good comes from contacting him. Either way a long distance relationship wouldn't work. He is a mess and I am a mess. I lied before, I am really depressed actually. I hurt myself sometimes and find it really hard to live in general. He knows that and two depressed people together is a bad idea
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"Thank you guys. These replies really helped. You are completely right. Nothing good comes from contacting him. Either way a long distance relationship wouldn't work. He is a mess and I am a mess. I lied before, I am really depressed actually (not mainly because of him but because of other things). I hurt myself sometimes and find it really hard to live in general. He knows that and two depressed people together is a bad idea.

 

When I startet NC it was because I thought I could get him back. I thought he would miss me and regret. But life doesent work that way.

 

I wish I was strong, I wish I didn't let this affect me this much, but I know time will help. A lot of time."

 

You wrote this. It still applies.

 

Be your own best friend. Don't deliberately do something that you know will hurt.

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I agree with wiseman, he's no good for you. Keep NC.

 

To answer your question though, I'd say "hellllloooooooooooo just checking to see if you're dead yet . Hope all is well!!" Lmaoooooooooooo but that's me. Anyone who's been with me would expect nothing less .

Don't do this. It only works on good terms where anger wasn't held and no toxicity occurred.

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I thought you weren't going to reconnect with him?

 

You were only together for 4 months, and physically 3. He is now living in another country. Why would you reach out to him?

 

You are both emotionally unhealthy, and are not a good fit.

 

Block and delete him.

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