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I cant stop dreaming about him


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I wrote a post earlier this week about why my ex and I broke up (if you want the more indepth story, look at my profile). Long story short, we lived 1.5 hours away from each other but his family is from my city. We were great until I started seeing that he wasnt putting a lot of effort into the relationship, and after almost three months of dating, I opened up to him about how I have been feeling. I really thought he cared a lot for me to be open to put it in more effort. He didn't want to and decided to break up with me.

 

I have been having dreams about my ex almost every night now. Two nights ago, I had such a strong dream that I woke up in a panic attack because I forgot we broke up and he wasnt near me to hug. Tonight, I had a dream that I was hanging out with his friends (which would never happen) and they told me how he was really sad about our break up... so they called him to join us and we talked it over and got back together.

 

In all honesty, he wasn't a bad guy. But, i know that the reason he left me was because he didnt think he could match up to my expectations (which really were not crazy at all, i checked). I guess i just miss him terribly. I dont know what to do... do i stay no contact? do i open up to him? Is it even worth it?

 

I texted him a week after we broke up (its been 2 weeks and a half since) telling him how i never wanted him to change and all the things i liked about him. i wished him a good week and life.. he replied to me four days later with a cold message. I just don't know what to do anymore.

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No, no contact! You poured your heart out and he coldly replied days later. Leave him alone.

Rejection hurts more than natural childbirth lol(experienced both) and I promise you if you can refocus your thoughts you can shift the power back to you by showing you are strong, confident, and don't need him. Because you don't.

Never ever ever waste time trying to reach out and convince someone of anything. Ever. Let them be.

He chose to go on without you. You have to do the same. You are worth more than a guy who's attention you have to beg for. Just don't do it. You're gonna miss him until you heal. Only time can do that.

Contact will leave you hurt and going backwards. You text, he doesn't reply, or takes days, or is cold again, and you're left with a serious blow to your self esteem while he feels confident and knows you want him. Pfffttttt don't give him that power.

He knows how to contact you if he wants to.

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I feel you, moon, I experience both vivid dreams or insomnia...really don't know which is worse.

 

Don't text him no more, all you will feel is double rejection, let him contact you, if will be the case.

In situation like yours (mine also), all you can do is NOTHING.

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I have to echo what SweetGirl and Kehratha say... Do not contact him as it will only hurt you. Think about if someone has ever liked you and you didn't like them in that way and they kept trying - remember how you would get an EWH feeling whenever they would come around. That is what he will start feeling for you if you don't stop contacting him and you don't want that. He was very kind to you by being cold.. I don't mind that at all. No response or a cold response is telling you to move on and is the kindest thing he could have done.

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The dreams are horrible. But they will get less and less as time goes on don't worry. Don't focus too much on the dreams as they are just your brain sorting out information and emotions. And agree with above- the cold reply is all you need to know it's time to move on.

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Dreams are symbolic, so although your subconscious mind may be simply signalling that you miss your boyfriend, it also symbolizes your desire to be in a relationship and feel wanted. In reading your previous post, it really didn't sound like much of a relationship. You were more in love with the idea of being in a relationship rather than being in love with your boyfriend. I think your dreams may be saying that you're ready for another relationship. You definitely want to be loved and wanted. The rejection certainly hurt. But I think any relationship will be better than the one you had with your apathetic boyfriend.

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I have to echo what SweetGirl and Kehratha say... Do not contact him as it will only hurt you. Think about if someone has ever liked you and you didn't like them in that way and they kept trying - remember how you would get an EWH feeling whenever they would come around. That is what he will start feeling for you if you don't stop contacting him and you don't want that. He was very kind to you by being cold.. I don't mind that at all. No response or a cold response is telling you to move on and is the kindest thing he could have done.

 

THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ so very very true. Think of how it makes you feel to be contacted when it's unwanted.

Or when they pop up where you are, or they badger friends and family about you trying to relay messages. You feel trapped, annoyed, disinterested. Keep your dignity .

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