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Bullying by a colleague has effected my mental health


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I have been getting bullied for a while at work (nearly two years) by a colleague.

He would shout for no reason and try to bully me.

He would ask what you got up to last night or the weekend then have a snide comment or have a dig at you.

So i started only talking about work but being polite.

The bully was slating another work colleague behind their back and i said i did not want to get involved. (as i never slated anyone there)

So the guy started having ago at me shouting angrily you are 36 not 13 i said i know how old i am.

He kept having ago at me all day saying default setting i do not know why he was saying that.

I just (as normal) kept my head down and worked but still he was digging at me all day so i just had enough and reported it.

He got called into a meeting then as soon as he came out he started having ago at me shouting again so i reported it again.

The next morning he came in and started shouting at me for no reason so i told him I have had enough and i reported it again.

Then he started trying to intimidate me by saying in my earshot he had a fight last night with two martial artists and beat them both.

(i knew what he was doing trying to intimidate me) I knew that was not true as he had no marks i got a sick note from my doctor as i was so stressed.

I have since left for a new job but i am still nervous at my new job.

My old company showed my no support at all i have never bothered anyone.

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Well.

 

The minute he starts making actual threats you get to call the police. That surely will be embarrassing enough he wont want to keep doing it. Your HR department probably will take things more seriously too.

Occasionally giving it back works too. I had my driving test guy bully me while i was taking my test. It was awful. Anyway i tried to keep things neutral and eventually a topic came up that i could give him a dig about. He stopped after that but i was so shaken i had started stalling the car (which i never do).

Sometimes trying to avoid this people makes you an easy target. Good on you for reporting it.

 

Anyway boys get into fights not men.

What a freaking idiot.

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My friend who i know through my drama club works as a counselor i have had a little bit with her.

The company showed me no support what so ever they tried to ignore the problem the bully has pushed and shouted at our manager before.

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Are you familiar with dealing with narcisstic personality disorder and abuse? Sam Vaknin has plenty of material on the subject, and this guys behaviour stinks of it. I worked with someone like this years ago, but sadly I didn't know what the condition was back then. Sadly, I've had experience of this again in recent years. There are people who function like this, feeding off the effect they have with their bullying. It's call 'narcisstic supply'. Psychological and emotional abuse became a crime in the UK in December 2015, so it's a shame you haven't any recordings of the abuse taking place. Any interaction with this person should be filmed or recorded as potential evidence, certainly stuff like being followed for miles. Good luck.

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Thanks the guy has also followed me outside of work i went to a friends house and he followed me for (about) 3 miles and he watched me go in and he reversed and drove off.

 

I would inform HR that you were followed by him and I would inform them that you will go to the authorities as well and then do it. This is not just some guy trying to bust your b*lls. Or someone being too sensitive. Does anyone else say anything? What about your boss??

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The guy has pushed the boss before shouting at him over time off.

I mentioned that incident to HR my boss was in the room and my boss said the shouting never happens to him.

Then in the same sentence the boss says he just shouts and pushes him back which i said that is not the professional way.

The guy has followed the boss home before (the boss lives 10 miles away) and timed how long it takes the boss to get to work as he was telling everyone.

The owner is only at work 2 days a week HR only works 4 hours a day and the boss watches TV in his office most of the day as there is not anyone there to stop him most the time.

He even tells us what he has been watching or playing poker.

 

There has been times we have ran out of stock or materials peoples wages have not been put on the system or there holidays having to chase the boss.

When HR or the owner is about the boss is helpful so the boss is hardly around he does not see what happens.

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I'm so sorry for what you went through. It does not sound like HR was very supportive of you. We have to be careful not to carry past hurts into new situations, that can be kind of self defeating. Try to give the new job a chance. It may bring better coworkers and friendlier environment. Good luck!

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the next time he follows you, call the police while you are driving. that's what i would do.And then pull right into the police station if nobody comes. Honestly, if the boss and HR is willing to let it be such a hostile environment, I would leave. I would inform authorities that this man keeps following people all the way home from work - even up to 10 miles.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for the advice.

If he follows me i will pull over and ring the police i have a dash cam in my car (to use as evidence).

When he was shouting at me he kept shouting he is in control he is the boss when he was just the same as me a normal worker.

One time at break i was eating a chocolate bar and he tried to take it off me shouting i said you can not eat that.

He kept shouting at me default setting (As i do not want to get involved when they moan about someone behind their back)

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Thanks for the advice.

If he follows me i will pull over and ring the police i have a dash cam in my car (to use as evidence).

When he was shouting at me he kept shouting he is in control he is the boss when he was just the same as me a normal worker.

One time at break i was eating a chocolate bar and he tried to take it off me shouting i said you can not eat that.

He kept shouting at me default setting (As i do not want to get involved when they moan about someone behind their back)

 

If he follows you DO NOT STOP unless pulling into a police station. you don't want to sit on the side of the road to provoke him to come up to your car.

Honestly, if your boss and the company is okay with this person behaving in this manner, i would look elsewhere. its not the work culture i would want to be a part of. Is the dash cam legal?

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I have been getting bullied for a while at work (nearly two years) by a colleague.

He would shout for no reason and try to bully me.

He would ask what you got up to last night or the weekend then have a snide comment or have a dig at you.

So i started only talking about work but being polite.

The bully was slating another work colleague behind their back and i said i did not want to get involved. (as i never slated anyone there)

So the guy started having ago at me shouting angrily you are 36 not 13 i said i know how old i am.

He kept having ago at me all day saying default setting i do not know why he was saying that.

I just (as normal) kept my head down and worked but still he was digging at me all day so i just had enough and reported it.

He got called into a meeting then as soon as he came out he started having ago at me shouting again so i reported it again.

The next morning he came in and started shouting at me for no reason so i told him I have had enough and i reported it again.

Then he started trying to intimidate me by saying in my earshot he had a fight last night with two martial artists and beat them both.

(i knew what he was doing trying to intimidate me) I knew that was not true as he had no marks i got a sick note from my doctor as i was so stressed.

I have since left for a new job but i am still nervous at my new job.

My old company showed my no support at all i have never bothered anyone.

You should see a lawyer and see if you have a case against the company for not taking care of the matter.

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