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Is he trying to make me jealous or trying to get me to move on?


soconfused89
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My ex and I dated for roughly 8 months. Things were really good (or so I thought) until one day he sat me down and said he felt chemistry was missing and was breaking up with me. He wanted to remain friends and I objected to this saying it isn't possible but insisted we try because he cares for me and values my friendship. Weeks go by and we are doing OK. Still talking every day, but its platonic. It wasn't until he confirmed he was seeing someone new that it became harder for me. I would get emotional at times. I eventually came straight out and told him this is difficult for me. He suggested we take a break for a few weeks to get my emotions in order. I stayed away for a few weeks then reached out when I felt better. When I reached out to just say hi, he responded and immediately told me that he is this new woman had moved in together.

 

I got upset because I couldn't figure out why he would tell me this unprovoked. He eventually told me it was a test to see if I had really moved on. A week later, he decides to pop at my job with his new girlfriend (I work at a bar). He knows my schedule and knew I worked that night and even sat on MY SIDE of the bar. They stayed for less than 10 mins and didn't order anything.

 

Why is he doing these things to me? Is he trying to make me jealous? Does he think I need help moving on? I cant understand why he's saying and doing things to hurt me or make this harder. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

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Sorry to hear this. After 8 mos of dating it sounds like he was using the friends thing to let you down easy but of course that doesn't work. Was he on the rebound or on/off with someone? Was he seeing her before you broke up? While you can't stop him from going to a bar, you can go no contact and delete/block him from everything.

My ex and I dated for roughly 8 months. It wasn't until he confirmed he was seeing someone new that it became harder for me. I reached out to just say hi, he responded and immediately told me that he is this new woman had moved in together. A week later, he decides to pop at my job with his new girlfriend (I work at a bar).
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Ironically, they were on and off for years. He said it was nothing serious then turned serious pretty quickly. My gut tells me that is the real reason he dumped me. While being dumped hurts, that isn't my problem. I am more concerned with why he feels the need to throw things in my face.

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Because he's nuts and is being an idiot to her as well as you. Who brings their on/off gf to the bar where a recent ex works? Bozo. You dodged a bullet. Just laugh to yourself if they ever walk in again.

Ironically, they were on and off for years. I am more concerned with why he feels the need to throw things in my face.
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He is being an idiot. At least he could have avoided that bar when he was with her. You should stop all contact with him. I wonder why he would do this, did you cheat on him? Did you hurt his feelings at any point? It doesn't make sense to do this.

 

Does the other girl know you were dating? Because if so, then maybe it is the other girl asking him to go together in front of you. As a way to make sure you are not still seeing him.

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My ex and I dated for roughly 8 months. Things were really good (or so I thought) until one day he sat me down and said he felt chemistry was missing and was breaking up with me. He wanted to remain friends and I objected to this saying it isn't possible but insisted we try because he cares for me and values my friendship. Weeks go by and we are doing OK. Still talking every day, but its platonic. It wasn't until he confirmed he was seeing someone new that it became harder for me. I would get emotional at times. I eventually came straight out and told him this is difficult for me. He suggested we take a break for a few weeks to get my emotions in order. I stayed away for a few weeks then reached out when I felt better. When I reached out to just say hi, he responded and immediately told me that he is this new woman had moved in together.

 

I got upset because I couldn't figure out why he would tell me this unprovoked. He eventually told me it was a test to see if I had really moved on. A week later, he decides to pop at my job with his new girlfriend (I work at a bar). He knows my schedule and knew I worked that night and even sat on MY SIDE of the bar. They stayed for less than 10 mins and didn't order anything.

 

Why is he doing these things to me? Is he trying to make me jealous? Does he think I need help moving on? I cant understand why he's saying and doing things to hurt me or make this harder. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

 

Dag! That's cruel!

 

This is the reason why you can't be friends with him. Friends talk about the new person they're dating and bring them around to meet everyone. This works best when there are no romantic feelings still in shattered shards around your feet in the aftermath of the bomb he threw in your lap.

 

You don't owe him anything on his terms--he forfeited that perk when he broke up with you.

 

He wants to be friends with you so you can help him feel better about dumping you and moving on with the chick he was probably grooming behind your back before you broke up.

 

Put him on block, do what you need to do to get him out of your system.

 

Sorry this happened to you.

 

for future reference: every establishment has a right to refuse service to customers. You might want to chat with your manager about him coming in there with new girlfriends to start mess with you.

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Never cheated. Was actually crazy over this guy. I thought the same as you. I've been questioning myself and wondering if I may have said something hurtful to him and didn't realize it? And now he's taking revenge out on me? My best friend thinks he didn't really want me to move on and lashing out. But this theory makes no sense because he actually moved on

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Never cheated. Was actually crazy over this guy. I thought the same as you. I've been questioning myself and wondering if I may have said something hurtful to him and didn't realize it? And now he's taking revenge out on me? My best friend thinks he didn't really want me to move on and lashing out. But this theory makes no sense because he actually moved on

 

I have a friend who used to behave like your ex.

 

She had been known to take dates to the restaurant where her ex worked, and believe me when I say it was no coincidence that she'd turn up on a night when she knew her ex would be working. And she seemed to enjoy imagining that both her ex and the new guy wanted her. She wanted to be seen with another man by the guy she used to date, because in a twisted way, it made her feel desirable. It had little to do with her ex, really, and a lot more to do with stroking her own ego. Childish and insensitive, yes. But she was much more concerned about puffing herself up (in her own head, anyway)

 

Thankfully, my friend finally outgrew this silliness when we pointed out to her how craptastic it was. My guess is that your ex is similar to how my friend once was. He is a jerk for doing this to you.

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Even if it was the only bar in town he knew you'd be there ....and I agree that he was a jerk to go there knowing how you might feel. As far as 'testing" you to see if you were over it...if that isn't egotistical I don't know what is!! This guy sounds like he's in love with himself. Maybe you should buy him a fancy mirror and tell him to use it admire himself...and where he can stick it...lol

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He may even be trying to get to the new girl, make her jealous by looking at you. Regardless of the reason, his behavior is hurtful so if i were you i would be relieved that you dodged a bullet with this one.. Thank your guardian angels and move on! Be sure to be very happy if he ever trots another woman in there! You don't have to lie and say you found someone or anything, just say, all is going well and you are just in a good mood if he asks why you are so happy! He'll go away then.

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It's extreme but I like it. It puts him in his place and calls a spade a spade.

Just send him a final message saying that he's about to be blocked, and that if he ever turns up where you work alone or with a girlfriend you will view this as harassment and call the police. Then block him everywhere, it really is that simple.
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Just send him a final message saying that he's about to be blocked, and that if he ever turns up where you work alone or with a girlfriend you will view this as harassment and call the police. Then block him everywhere, it really is that simple.

 

I actually did this two days ago. He responded "Ok" as if he didn't care or me being done doesn't bother him. Maybe his goal the entire time was to get me to move on.

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My ex and I dated for roughly 8 months. Things were really good (or so I thought) until one day he sat me down and said he felt chemistry was missing and was breaking up with me. He wanted to remain friends and I objected to this saying it isn't possible but insisted we try because he cares for me and values my friendship. Weeks go by and we are doing OK. Still talking every day, but its platonic. It wasn't until he confirmed he was seeing someone new that it became harder for me. I would get emotional at times. I eventually came straight out and told him this is difficult for me. He suggested we take a break for a few weeks to get my emotions in order. I stayed away for a few weeks then reached out when I felt better. When I reached out to just say hi, he responded and immediately told me that he is this new woman had moved in together.

 

I got upset because I couldn't figure out why he would tell me this unprovoked. He eventually told me it was a test to see if I had really moved on. A week later, he decides to pop at my job with his new girlfriend (I work at a bar). He knows my schedule and knew I worked that night and even sat on MY SIDE of the bar. They stayed for less than 10 mins and didn't order anything.

 

Why is he doing these things to me? Is he trying to make me jealous? Does he think I need help moving on? I cant understand why he's saying and doing things to hurt me or make this harder. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

He's doing this because he's an insecure d-bag. He's playing games and you're letting him. I guarantee you if you just ignore him he would come pleading for you to come back. Don't fall for it. Seriously. Don't fall for it. He is doing all of this to gauge your reaction. He is toying with your heart.

 

Here is what you do:

 

-realize you can't be friends with people who try to hurt you. Which he is

-Block his number

-Block him from social media

-Know that he is somewhere out there still being the insecure d-bag he is

-Go out with new people

-Profit

 

Seriously. Going to where you work with a new girl for 10 minutes and not order anything is something only a weak beta would do. That girl probably isn't even someone he's dating. He just wanted to twist the knife a little. Take this knowledge and feel better. You have the upper hand here. Anyone who does this stuff is massively insecure.

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