Four years of being on the sideline.

[Taintedlove1607310876]

I have no idea what I’m doing with this man in my life. Met four years ago have been off and on ever since. We started off strictly f*** buddies no friendship. Would go months without speaking but always get back in touch. Turns out for three of those years he has had an actual girlfriend that he has been on and off with as well, that he lies about but I’ve known about for awhile just never gives me a straight answer about her. Fast forward to the beginning of this year we reconnect after six months. I’m at his place we drinking things get going and sure enough his girlfriend climbs through the window! So I leave and he follows. Cut to now he is telling me they don’t talk anymore or anything and we are working on trying to work out our s*** and she is still calling. I don’t know what to do or how to go about it and to make things worse his best friend is my best friends boyfriend so he is always a topic. Help! How would you end it?

[reinventmyself]

Seriously? You don't know what to do?

This man lies to you and cheats on his girlfriend.

I would cross the street if I saw him coming and yet you are confused.

[smackie9]

He's playing the both of you.......because he can't just have one. You want commitment??? find yourself another man.

[DanZee]

Your friend has too many balls in the air. Don't be one of them. You will regret it.

[Wiseman2]

Step out of this disaster. Do you want your tires slashed? Why not get on some dating apps with a good profile and pics. You can do whatever you want there. Hookups, fwb, dating, relationships, etc. Just decide that you're done with crazy.

I’m at his place we drinking things get going and sure enough his girlfriend climbs through the window! So I leave and he follows.

[maew]

Turns out for three of those years he has had an actual girlfriend that he has been on and off with as well, that he lies about but I’ve known about for awhile just never gives me a straight answer about her.

 

Not that this answers your original question, but does this mean you have been knowingly sleeping with someone that had a girlfriend?

 

I would end it by saying I was done with the situation and walking away. If you can't handle hearing about him from your BF, set a boundary with her saying you don't want to talk about him while you are around. It doesn't have to be complicated, people make it that way when they are looking for a way to keep hanging on to a crappy situation.

[Taintedlove1607310876]

Not necessarily knowingly sleeping with him while they were together. I’ll bring it up and he just always says they ain’t together and I had no hard proof until the window chaos.

[DancingFool]

Good grief....I mean I'm sure you could theoretically find a guy who is more sleazy and an even bigger lying, cheating, subhuman scum......but it would be kind of hard. OP, stop groping around the very bottom of the barrel, find your self respect and go find a more decent man to date or just sleep with. Like seriously....stop playing the game of how low you can go - you are at rock bottom here and can only do better from here on out, so long as you get rid of this filth.

 

There is nothing to be confused about - you can do better.

[Wiseman2]

They deserve each other, so what are you doing with these wackos?

Not necessarily knowingly sleeping with him while they were together. I’ll bring it up and he just always says they ain’t together and I had no hard proof until the window chaos.

[JaggerJim]

You seriously wait around 6 months for him? at a time? No wonder he will never commit. Plenty of other people to have FWB with.

[Taintedlove1607310876]

Apparently wasting my time and energy on someone not deserving of me.

[Taintedlove1607310876]

Never wait around there’s always guys that I date while we are not talking.

[JaggerJim]

So what's the problem?

[Taintedlove1607310876]

The problem is now after that six month we talked and decided we are done with the bull and wanna try to actually have something but it doesn’t seem like he is on the same page.

[JaggerJim]

Well now you have seen he is not serious in his words so you end it. You've gone 6 months and more without him in your life and you now you can go years, if you make an effort to not see him. It's his loss and I also think he's just stringing you along, telling you anything you want to hear and you had proof when she climbed in through the bedroom window, which shows how pathetic the situation really is.

[DaisyMayPorter]

She came through the window?! My goodness!

[Hollyj]

You really don't know what to do?

 

You knew that he had a girlfriend, yet continued to sleep with him. Where is your self respect?

 

Do you really think that he is going to be faithful after the way he treated her - and you - for all of this time.

 

Raise your standards. time to be single for a long while to understand why you put yourself in this situation.

[Minikimini]

A couple of things jumped out at me:

 

1. This has been going on for 4 years. That's 4 years of your youth that are forever gone behind someone who is not treating honorably with you. Do you have that kind of time to waste?

 

2. On again/off again relationships are relationships that are a waste of time. They never work out.

 

3. Women crawling through the windows of a man's house--I wonder if she was protected by her silver spoon? This is a really really bad look for everyone involved--and that includes you.

 

4. He is talking to her because she is able to get through on his phone to him. She's not on block, which is where she should be if she's supposedly his ex.

 

So, what, really, is the pay off for you remaining with this sort of man? If you weren't getting anything out of this, you'd have been long gone by now, so I'm curious: what's in it for you?

[Minikimini]

The problem is now after that six month we talked and decided we are done with the bull and wanna try to actually have something but it doesn’t seem like he is on the same page.

 

 

If he ever was.

 

I think he was bluffing on this.

 

A woman who understands that she is done with a man doesn't come crawling through his window. He's given her just enough (psychotic) hope to fashion a rope with a knot tied at the end with which to hold on.

[catfeeder]

Turns out for three of those years he has had an actual girlfriend that he has been on and off with as well, that he lies about

 

Not sure why you're investing yourself in someone who lies. It tells you all you really need to know about any prospects for a future with this person. Hasn't the the amount of time you wasted already taught you this?