Is it best to end things now?

[katrina1980]

Ended it......this sucks! Hurts bad....wish it could be have been different.

 

How did that happen?

 

You said two hours ago you were gonna give him (and yourself) the two weeks.

 

Did he end it?

 

In any event, I'm sorry, time heals. :(

[Darlington]

How did that happen?

 

You said two hours ago you were gonna give him (and yourself) the two weeks.

 

Did he end it?

 

In any event, I'm sorry, time heals. :(

 

No he didn't, I did. I had a change of heart. Asked him directly if we were just delaying the inevitable with the 2 week wait...to which he replied with another "I don't know". That's all he ever says to any direct question. He added that he's not sure about how he'll feel tomorrow let alone later down the line. That he doesn't want to mislead me but also doesn't want things to end. That's when I decided there was no point dragging this out. So I told him 2 weeks won't change anything and that I didn't want him to feel forced into anything with me. Said it's been fun hanging out with him but that we want different things and that it's okay.

 

He said he wished things were different but that he understood how I feel. Asked if we could be friends....I said we'll see.

 

That was it.

 

It hurts now, but better it happens now than in 6 months/1 year. I don't think I could have been with him knowing he needed any amount of time to think about wanting a relationship with me. You either want to be with me or you don't. Either is fine, but I can't do gray areas.

[Darlington]

It WILL be different...with the right man.

 

It was best to end it. Rather than waste time with a man who doesn't want the same things you do.

 

I am sorry, I know you had hopes this guy would be the right one for you. But he's not. The right one will not need to go deliberate like a jury.

 

:) Thank you boltrun. You're right, the right one will not need to deliberate. You either want to be with me or not. Either is fine, I have decent self-esteem and can handle rejection...what I can't handle is being in gray areas.

[Darlington]

No one dates with the hopes it fails, but you did the right thing.

I hope you find someone who values you, and is ready to be emotionally open with you.

Feel better.

 

Thank you. Hopefully I'll be back to feeling 100% soon.

[katrina1980]

No he didn't, I did. I had a change of heart. Asked him directly if we were just delaying the inevitable with the 2 week wait...to which he replied with another "I don't know". That's all he ever says to any direct question. He added that he's not sure about how he'll feel tomorrow let alone later down the line. That he doesn't want to mislead me but also doesn't want things to end. That's when I decided there was no point dragging this out. So I told him 2 weeks won't change anything and that I didn't want him to feel forced into anything with me. Said it's been fun hanging out with him but that we want different things and that it's okay.

 

He said he wished things were different but that he understood how I feel. Asked if we could be friends....I said we'll see.

 

That was it.

 

It hurts now, but better it happens now than in 6 months/1 year. I don't think I could have been with him knowing he needed any amount of time to think about wanting a relationship with me. You either want to be with me or you don't. Either is fine, but I can't do gray areas.

 

You know what?

 

Never mind what I said earlier; given this new info (which may not be so new I just wasn't acknowledging - sorry) this guy sounds sooooo out of touch with himself, his own emotions, what he wants/doesn't want, just goes through the motions --- like a robot!!

 

Worst kind of guy to get involved with, so omg you so did the right thing -- huge bullet dodged!

 

And I really admire your strength and courage for ending it despite your apparent strong feelings for him.

 

When one door closes, another opens; best of luck moving forward!

[Darlington]

You know what?

 

Never mind what I said earlier; given this new info (which may not be so new I just wasn't acknowledging - sorry) this guy sounds sooooo out of touch with himself, his own emotions, what he wants/doesn't want, just goes through the motions --- like a robot!!

 

Worst kind of guy to get involved with, so omg you so did the right thing -- huge bullet dodged!

 

And I really admire your strength and courage for ending it despite your apparent strong feelings for him.

 

When one door closes, another opens; best of luck moving forward!

 

Thanks Katrina - I really appreciate you saying that. It has been really difficult, it's hard to walk away from a "good guy".

 

I do wish I was told about sex/contact with the ex earlier than last week because I wouldn't have got involved in the first place. Also the vagueness and constant "I don't knows" (about everything - what to have for dinner, where to go on dates etc etc) were starting to grate on me.

 

Hey, ho. Better to have loved (or liked in my case) and lost, than to not have loved (liked) at all.

 

Thanks all for the advice and well wishes.

[Chelsea54]

Thank you for your post. Very interested in reading to the end.

This situation would confuse me as well.

[Darlington]

Thank you for your post. Very interested in reading to the end.

This situation would confuse me as well.

 

Thank you. Glad it could be of some use :)

[thorough]

I learned my lesson to just leave if anyone ever tells you that. 99% of the time, that's just a soft rejection and a way to keep you in their lives w/out committing. You will find a guy who does want a relationship. Make yourself very scarce for this guy and if he is interested, he will come back.