ExoticDance Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Okay I need some serious advice. So partners are supposed to be the ones you can't wait to share things with? Like telling them you want to do an exciting new Degree? Is it normal for them to start shouting saying that if you do it'll obviously be the end of the relationship and accuse you of probably meeting someone else? Is this normal behaviour or just being selfish with their own feelings? Baring in mind I have said I will not be meeting someone else I just want an education and something to be proud of? So as many of you Uni students know, if I was to do this full time I'd complete my Honours degree in three years, but part time will be taking six years and completed online whereas full time I would be at the actual Uni. I'm doing part time because I'm afraid this guy will go mad at me and constantly accuse me of being up to something which would affect my studying as he was extremely paranoid before. Can someone seriously help me out, please no nasty, rude or judgemental comments, this has taken me all of my courage to come here and post this as I'm feeling extremely anxious at the moment so please please no horrible comments :( Thank You in advance x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 No partner should deny you an education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a1a Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 I'm doing part time because I'm afraid this guy will go mad at me and constantly accuse me of being up to something which would affect my studying as he was extremely paranoid before. This is what cutting off parts of yourself fit in the increasingly small box your partner wants you to be in looks like. A good partner wouldn’t ask this of you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 He is an insecure, small, controlling individual. He is fearful that you will expose yourself to new things and see how little he has to offer, in a multitude of ways. A partner should support, not hold you back. Why are you with someone like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 It's one thing if a partner would be expected to financially support you and thus have reservations. It's another if they're worried you're going to cheat on them (?). No, that's not normal. Not at all. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=536804 This the same guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanZee Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 You're being emotionally abused. Your bf uses senseless arguments with you to keep you passive, to do what he wants, to turn you into someone who won't question him when cheats on you. I'm sure you have even more examples of his abuse. If you don't want this guy running your life and telling you when to go to the bathroom, you need to get away from him. If this is the same guy from 6 months ago, then you didn't follow folks' advice back them. This is not love, it's abuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 No it's not normal. End things with anyone who is possessive, controlling and/or abusive. It's that simple. Is it normal for them to start shouting saying that if you do it'll obviously be the end of the relationship and accuse you of probably meeting someone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thealchemist Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 It is actually pretty normal. People who are extremely insecure to a huge fault are like this. He is afraid to ever let you improve yourself because he thinks you will be better than him and that is unacceptable. He will likely always try to emotionally beat you down any and every time you ever try to work on yourself. He sounds like a controlling, bullying, tantrum throwing child who never grew up. It is scary how normal that actually is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Do you think it's normal? And are you happy living like this? I think it's controlling and maladaptive on his part. I wonder, has he ever threatened or used physical posturing and/or violence towards you ? You come across quite frightened of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 OP, you know this guy is bad for you, as you have posted about this in previous threads. Why do you stay? He does not love or care about you. He likes someone to control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted March 20, 2018 Share Posted March 20, 2018 Is it normal for them to start shouting saying that if you do it'll obviously be the end of the relationship and accuse you of probably meeting someone else? Nope. It's not only abnormal, it's dangerous. I'd avoid fighting and get myself as far away from this guy as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExoticDance Posted April 22, 2018 Author Share Posted April 22, 2018 I really really cannot thank you all enough for your advice, I'd like to say I've cut all contact with this guy recently and although still shaky, I'm getting there. In all fairness I was thinking of messaging but reading this comments brought me back to reality ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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