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He called me a catfish after I rejected him on our first date.


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I just went on a date with a guy that I met online. I was really excited about meeting him because we've been talking every day for a week and even spoke on the phone for HOURS. I knew it wouldn't be a long-term thing because he hit some of my major dealbreakers (drug addict and dealer), but was still pretty interested in meeting him because he seemed really nice and chill and I wanted to just give it a shot.

 

Then comes the day of the date. We decided to go to a bar near his house to play games and just hang out. Within five minutes, his friend calls and he picks it up. I jokingly commented about how that was rude and he just admitted he *was* being an a-hole. Then, he tells me we have to meet his friend (and some girl his friend is with) at his apartment to let them in. I said I didn't feel that comfortable about going there yet, but he said it'll be really quick.

 

We end up in his apartment with no sign we're going back to the bar any time soon. End up being there for close to 30 minutes and most of that time, he's doing drugs (not the light stuff) in his room with the girl who was with his friend (and she was also being really flirty with him) and left me out in his living room all alone because I didn't even want to be in his house in the first place, and legit didn't think we were going to be in there for more than 5 minutes. As soon as he finally comes out of his room, I tell him I'm leaving.

 

I was SO mad at how much time I wasted on this guy who had to even convince me to go out with him (I didn't know if I was into it at first because of said deal breakers) to only be ignored for 45 minutes. It was the worst, most uncomfortable situation I've ever been in. After I left, I ended up meeting with friends who were already out, got really drunk and ended up texting him how I felt. I pretty much tore him a new one for treating me like crap on our date. I normally would just dead the situation, but that "date" just made me so upset I couldn't even believe it was happening.

 

The next day, he texted me saying I was a catfish and to update my profile because it was false advertising so he wasn't into me anyway. He's seen all of my social media too. I'm very self conscious about my appearance and him saying that really made me feel like crap. Nobody from an online dating app has ever said that about me before (I've probably been on close to like 100?) and in fact usually say I'm really pretty in person.

 

I know none of you know what I look like in photos or in real life to be able to compare, but.... do you think this guy was just being rude because I rejected him? Or is it possible that I really don't look like my photos and people are just being nice to me because they want to get in my pants. I've been on apps for a long time and this is the first time I feel like I should delete them because I'm too ugly to be on them...

 

**TLDR** A guy I went on a horrible date with said I was a catfish and this hasn't happened to me before. Is he being an douche or is it that he was actually upset that I don't look like my photos? Please share your stories.

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I think he is just trying to hurt you because you told him you weren't impressed, and that's basically the only way to get back at someone you don't know very well (there appearance) I wouldn't worry. Unless you are doing bunny filters or something on every single photo just don't even think about it. I didn't write back to someone online and after he tried to message me twice and I didn't respond he said something along the lines of I was a and wasn't attractive anyway but I figured that's all he could go on because he doesn't know me (I'm not attractive but him saying that didn't hurt because I knew he was just annoyed and that's the only thing that could hurt me) but on another point have you been on 100 online dates ??

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What boltnrun said.

 

Yes, he is being rude because you rejected him, but also just because that's who he is. You are insecure of your appearance although you don't seem to have a reason. Of course having or not a reason never really matters when we have insecurities. Anyways, it's the first time a man said this to you so that's why it's bugging you. Mark it off as him being a horrible person and forget about him. Don't fall into the trap of proving him wrong or anything.

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Holy crow lady, even after that experience you aren't worried about your safety but dissecting what this guy said to you?!

So many worse things could have happened, and do happen, to girls and women who go back to a drug dealers house.

Even after getting away from him, you went back for more by being aggressive with him over text (and while drunk and not having your wits about you either).

You got off so lucky that he just made a quip about you being a catfish, he must not have thought you were worth bothering about. You are lucky.

 

Your survival instincts are almost non existent. Why is that? You should worry about that before hopping back into dating.

You have been exceptionally lucky to have not come to harm navigating meeting men with this mindset .. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it. A really charmed life .

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In sorry I read the title and that's it, you wrote a dangone novel to discuss what a guy YOU DONT WANT said to you.

 

You aren't prepared to date. It's as simple as that. Rejection from a guy you like would probably send you to the crazy house, work on yourself for a while.

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He's a drug addict! Why do you care what he thinks or said? Pfffttttttt you should have never gone with him!

And you're lucky you're alive. What if a drug deal had gone bad and you got in the middle of it?

What if your phone died and you had no way to contact anyone? What if he raped you? You could have been gang-banged my goodness never go with a stranger to their apartment. You meet and stay in public! And keep separate cars.

So much could have gone wrong here, and you worry about what he thinks of your looks? The only one you need to worry about what they think of how you look is you! If you're happy with yourself, f*** what others think. It's not a reflection on you, it's their personal taste. Pick a better date the next time. And maybe bring a friend to keep you from making a bad decision by leaving with anyone until you know them well enough.

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