Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I sent a message today to the EX it was about my daughter as she has found it very hard since I told her we have split up. When I told her she wa upset and said ‘ he was a Dad I never had’ it broke my heart into 1000 pieces.

 

My daughter is 12 and he has been part of her life since she was 4/5. My message wasn’t long straight to the point. It hurt as i wanted to stay no contact! Trying to heal because I miss him terribly. Crying has reduced but it hurts. I have been feeling angry and bitter towards him. So hard sometimes I think maybe I should even attempt to find someone again, seeing her heartbreak. Breaks mine all over again.

 

Ps he messaged back saying he wants to see her and would talk to her. What a gent ( not!) it hurts so much.

 

I pray for healing and strength 🙏🏼

Link to post
Share on other sites

maybe look at it like this:

 

its a lesson for her that some people do leave. its ok for her to feel how she feels. she didn't do anything and when she's older she'll understand adult relationships can be difficult. sometimes people have to go their own way.

 

I personally don't think that you should dates around. The two of you could comfort each other and fill that void you feel from your ex

Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter is 14, they process break ups differently dependent upon the relationship they had with your significant other(now ex) . Why don't you get her into counseling so she can express and work through any feelings she's having?

It's not up to him to still be there. Unless he wants to be, and you want him to be. But it's pretty difficult when you're holding so much resentment towards him. You messaged him, he replied, and it upset you. It's best to just stay NC and get help for her if she needs it. Be reassuring to her, be composed in front of her, and don't bombard her with any details of it.

 

Finding a new man will not replace what he provided for her all those years. Is her real dad around?

My daughter I honestly worry about sometimes because she does not have a positive male role model in her life, but I know that trying to grab onto a man is not the answer. I make it work. I'm the mom, the dad, the friend. I hope and pray I'm doing okay, and that's all I can do. Just be there for her, she needs routine, stability, and structure. Carry on as you were , even though he's absent.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Definitely i meant going through this all again. I have never dated around in front of my daughter. He was the first since her dad which is hard.

 

Just makes you feel your dealing with two broken hearts. It’s difficult as we did all live together.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks sweet girl definitely that’s what my daughter asked if she can see him. We discussed and I discussed with my family. Her dad isn’t around his family is. Messaging him didn’t upset me just didn’t want to. I guess knowing that my daughter is hurting hurts me. It’s 7 years and how long he has been in her life. Wish it all wasn’t happening but it is

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey OP.

 

I decided I should chime in since I was in a very similar situation.

I was with my ex for 6.5 years and she had a daughter who I met when she was 5. I had a very strong bond with her even with her real father in the picture. It tore me to pieces when my ex left. It was like losing a daughter. The pain is unbearable sometimes.

 

Although your situation is a bit different, I disagree with how your daughter will forget him very was easliy. He was a HUGE part of her adolesence which is some of the most important parts for youngsters. Especially girls.

 

It's going to be tough on her for awhile. You need to be the best mom you can be and try and explain to her sometimes things in life like this happen. Remember that he broke up with you and not her. This is not her fault. ( nore is it yours I'm just trying to make a point)

 

My step daughter reached out to me just a couple of days ago telling me how much she missed me and thinks about me. It was the best message I ever could of received knowing I made a positive impact on her life. Last time I saw her was 7 months ago.

 

Hang in there OP. It's one of the tougher situations you will face. If you have any good male role models around. Brother. Friends I suggest they spend some time with her as much as possible.

 

Sending you positive thoughts

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...