Why would a guy refuse to block his ex?

[Igor1]

Why would a guy refuse to block his ex, give her false hope for the future, describe his new girlfriend as just “fine” and tell his ex to be apart and let time pass so he and her can let go of past resentments and mature?

[SweetGirl28]

So that he can keep her as a back up plan in case he doesn't find better, or keep her for while he's in between relationships.

[Igor1]

Does it mean he really likes his new girlfriend or even loves her?

[Igor1]

So that he can keep her as a back up plan in case he doesn't find better, or keep her for while he's in between relationships.

 

If she was that great wouldn’t he tell her to back off? Like don’t usually people know if someone is “the one” pretty quickly in a relationship? Or do people get into relationships that are exclusive just because they don’t want to be alone not because they truly see things working out?

[Starlight925]

It has nothing to do with how great either girl is.

 

As SweetGirl28 said, it's so he can keep her as a back up plan. So he can text her when he's lonely, bored, horny.

[j.man]

I've never blocked an ex. And I wouldn't block one to appease anyone. Has nothing to do with wanting to keep them in my back pocket, but maybe your circumstances are different.

[Igor1]

It has nothing to do with how great either girl is.

 

As SweetGirl28 said, it's so he can keep her as a back up plan. So he can text her when he's lonely, bored, horny.

 

Not because he actually wants the ex to work on their issues (jealousy and control)?

[Igor1]

I've never blocked an ex. And I wouldn't block one to appease anyone. Has nothing to do with wanting to keep them in my back pocket, but maybe your circumstances are different.

 

Did you ever want to leave the door open for them and say things like “it would be stupid to not try again one day after we have let time pass to let go of hard feelings”

[Birdie]

So you are the ex?

[SweetGirl28]

If she was that great wouldn’t he tell her to back off? Like don’t usually people know if someone is “the one” pretty quickly in a relationship? Or do people get into relationships that are exclusive just because they don’t want to be alone not because they truly see things working out?

 

Re-read your initial question. He's stringing her along. Why block when he gets a response out of her? Sounds like he initiates it. even if it's the girl making all the contact, he seems to reply with baiting tactics for false hope. Many people enter relationships so as not to be alone while still looking around.

[Igor1]

Re-read your initial question. He's stringing her along. Why block when he gets a response out of her? Sounds like he initiates it. even if it's the girl making all the contact, he seems to reply with baiting tactics for false hope. Many people enter relationships so as not to be alone while still looking around.

 

Even exclusive relationships? Like where you meet the family and all?

[Dixi]

If she was that great wouldn’t he tell her to back off? Like don’t usually people know if someone is “the one” pretty quickly in a relationship? Or do people get into relationships that are exclusive just because they don’t want to be alone not because they truly see things working out?

 

The questions you keep asking have no definitive answer, the answers depend on the circumstances and the people involved. I obviously don't know this guy that you're obsessed with but it's not a great picture you're painting of him and going by that I wonder why you are so hung up on someone who is not great! Based on all that you have said through your many posts I would have to say you've set the bar far too low and he's not worth your time and effort. For your own self worth and dignity you should distance yourself from him and move on.

 

I doubt this will stop your obsession though and I guess you will keep posting in some vein hope you'll get the answer you want to hear.

[SweetGirl28]

Even exclusive relationships? Like where you meet the family and all?

 

Yes, even then

[Hollyj]

You have posted about this guy numerous times. I think it would be helpful to give your readers more contact.

 

He is not over the ex. He told you that he is keeping your around but that he does not care about you etc.... You can keep on making your regular threads, when will enough, be enough?

[Hollyj]

Same guy that you have been posting about for some time? Real prize.

 

"He also said he and her are not compatible. He said he and I were way more compatible but he likes her because she really likes him.

 

He said she has a bad job, drinks too much at times, has crippling anxiety that she takes lots of meds for, is lazy, likes to play video games, and isn't motivated in her career. I just don't know what he sees in her to be honest. He is motivated in his career, works out daily, and really wants to build his business. Do people work these kinds of differences out?

 

He and I talk almost daily still and he still is willing to see me and hang out with me."

 

 

 

"Like how is this person not a bad person? They lie about my relationship. Lie about cheating. Lie about being happy. Lied to their apartment to get out of a lease by forging documents. It's so hard to be upset and just move on and accept this person may have just been a bad person."

 

"He won't leave this girl alone

So my ex and I broke up this year. We have been staying in contact and have been friends. I found out he was having Sex with another girl and was seeing another girl quite often during this time. He never told either of us but he told me this girl really really likes him. He broke into my apartment and found old messages on my computer that upset him and he now says he wants to make things work with this girl and be more open to loving her and he emotionally invested in her.

 

Is he just saying this to piss me off? Wouldn't he have already fallen for her and liked her if she was so great? Can you hold back feelings of loving someone and being with someone?"

 

 

Get some therapy.

[annie24]

So that he can keep her as a back up plan in case he doesn't find better, or keep her for while he's in between relationships.

 

We have a winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Birdie]

Same guy that you have been posting about for some time?

 

He also said he and her are not compatible. He said he and I were way more compatible but he likes her because she really likes him.

 

He said she has a bad job, drinks too much at times, has crippling anxiety that she takes lots of meds for, is lazy, likes to play video games, and isn't motivated in her career. I just don't know what he sees in her to be honest. He is motivated in his career, works out daily, and really wants to build his business. Do people work these kinds of differences out?

 

He and I talk almost daily still and he still is willing to see me and hang out with me.

 

Totally agree. And I’ve asked multiple times and the OP will not clarify if she’s this guys ex (which is what I’m thinking based off her posts and the timeline) or his current gf.

 

So frustrating and disrespectful to those trying to offer advice.

[Hollyj]

Totally agree. And I’ve asked multiple times and the OP will not clarify if she’s this guys ec (which is what I’m thinking based off her posts and the timeline) or his current gf.

 

So frustrating and disrespectful to those trying to offer advice.

 

This guy is a total loser. She is like a moth to the flame.

 

I agree.. Why even respond if people have no intention of taking any advice. Attention seeking.

[Starlight925]

Yes, I'm unclear about whether the OP is his ex or his current GF.

 

So I'll give advice for either situation:

 

1) If you're his ex: He's keeping you on the back burner in case his current relationship doesn't work out.

 

2) If you're his current GF: He's keeping her on the back burner in case his relationship with you doesn't work out.

 

Clear enough?

[MissCanuck]

OP, you need to stop looking for excuses to hang on to this guy. He is no good.

[Wiseman2]

He's with someone else. Leave him alone and move on. Have you been getting help fro your doctors about the suicidal tenancies and going to therapy regularly? The only reason he takes your calls is out of pity, but he's obviously he's not with you, he's with her.

[calichick007]

So you are the ex?

 

She's absolutely the ex. This is really sad.

[catfeeder]

Why would a guy refuse to block his ex, give her false hope for the future, describe his new girlfriend as just “fine” and tell his ex to be apart and let time pass so he and her can let go of past resentments and mature?

 

Because he's still not relationship material for anyone else. I'd skip him.

[Liraele]

Because he doesn't want to.

 

Why do you keep asking questions about this guy - you've gotten some pretty good advice. Changing the way you ask the question isn't going to change the answers.

[Everlong13]

If she was that great wouldn’t he tell her to back off? Like don’t usually people know if someone is “the one” pretty quickly in a relationship?

 

It's not a film. People rarely know definitively early on!