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People's Opinions on Porn in a Relationship?


Sploosh79
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I feel like people are either okay with it and even watch it together or they think it's cheating. I guess I can see both standpoints. Boys will be boys and are sexual creatures, but then again how is it different if they watched two people having sex (live)? Or even if someone recorded themselves having sex with someone else, for them.

 

What are your guys opinions?

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I don't think it's cheating and I think it can be inconsistent with being in a committed relationship in certain situations. There's no set answer -depends on the couple, their values, their boundaries and of course what kind of porn is involved. I think communication is key between the couple to see what each person is comfortable with. I once went on a few dates with a guy who went to strip clubs with his clients. In his opinion getting a lap dance was not "sexual" and was appropriate. And I knew then that he would not be right for me because that would not be ok with me in a committed relationship.

 

I don't agree that "boys will be boys" as far as acting on sexual urges. Whether you act on a sexual urge is a choice and under your control, whatever gender you are. I personally don't believe in excusing behavior and choices as "boys will be boys".

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I don't think it's cheating and I think it can be inconsistent with being in a committed relationship in certain situations. There's no set answer -depends on the couple, their values, their boundaries and of course what kind of porn is involved. I think communication is key between the couple to see what each person is comfortable with. I once went on a few dates with a guy who went to strip clubs with his clients. In his opinion getting a lap dance was not "sexual" and was appropriate. And I knew then that he would not be right for me because that would not be ok with me in a committed relationship.

 

I don't agree that "boys will be boys" as far as acting on sexual urges. Whether you act on a sexual urge is a choice and under your control, whatever gender you are. I personally don't believe in excusing behavior and choices as "boys will be boys".

 

I don't think all behavior should be excused, don't get me wrong. But I do think that, from my experience men are sexual creatures, and I feel most will watch porn no matter what.

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I agree girls are sexual creatures but from my experience men have a higher sex drive.

 

Yes but sex drive has nothing to do with actions or behavior. People choose whether and when to act on sex drives -so even if you're right it has nothing to do with reacting by watching porn or any other behavior that has to do with sex. I don't happen to agree that men have a higher sex drive but even if I did to presume that having a higher sex drive means acting in a sexual way or doing sexual things more often is not something I agree with. Individual people choose how to react to all sorts of feelings including sexual ones.

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I don't think all behavior should be excused, don't get me wrong. But I do think that, from my experience men are sexual creatures, and I feel most will watch porn no matter what.

 

Well. no it's two separate issues. It's not because they are sexual creatures. It's because those men choose to act on sexual feelings by watching porn. You can have a feeling and choose not to act on it. Maybe most of the men you know watch porn. I don't think watching porn is cheating or inappropriate and it depends of course on what and how and in what context. But a couple can decide it is and that part of their commitment is not to watch porn, for whatever reason they decide. And if a person agrees to that that is part of the promise in that particular relationship. And if one of the people use the exxcuse of "I couldn't help it I am a sexual creature" that's not excusable.

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I don't think all behavior should be excused, don't get me wrong. But I do think that, from my experience men are sexual creatures, and I feel most will watch porn no matter what.

Over 100 million copies of 50 Shades of Grey were sold. The majority of audience who reads erotica fiction are typically women.

 

Why are you only singling men here? What facts do you have to support this claim?

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Witnessing my brothers' behavior once they hit adolescence, there were times they were literally in pain if they weren't having regular sex or masturbating.

 

I am talking real physical pain.

 

I have a very high sex drive, but I don't recall ever being in pain when not having it. :D

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Porn is fine, and that's coming from someone who hardly watches it.

 

And I can personally attest to men not having the market cornered on being sexual creatures. I mean I guess if you're a woman who likes sex once a week, feel free to speak for yourself, but I've been with quite a few women and in quite a few ways, who I couldn't keep up with in my dreams. My lady right now would go twice a day if the opportunity presented itself. I've never bought that women are any less sexual than men, even in drive.

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I think there’s a difference between releasing sexual tension or urges by masturbating vs choosing to cheat - it may be that some have to release the tension or feel pain but then there’s a choice. I don’t think watching porn is cheating per se but I can see where certain types of porn like if it’s interactive with real people might be. Honestly I’m not familiar with all the ways people watch porn on line and whether there is interaction.

I really don’t like singling out men as the gender that can’t help but watch porn even if for example their partner wasn’t comfortable with the extent or type of it.

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Okay guys so let's play a game of how many times you and your SO (or whomever) did "it" during the course of one night/early morning.

 

Truth!

 

Mine was 8 times between the hours of 11:00 pm and 11:00 am, with my ex (the ex I had a LTR with). No porn either, just us.

 

Not mediocre either (e.g. wham bam ty m'am), I am talking substantial sex, 8 times within a 12 hour period.

 

I don't know I think that's a lot but I have no doubt that others could top it!

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I'm a guy and I have had a few girlfriends in the past who not only had a far greater sex drive than me, but which also enjoyed watching porn. Granted, more guys do watch porn than women, but I don't think it is such a stark contrast as many would like to believe. It's not like you make it out to be that maybe 5% of women enjoy watching porn, and 99% of guys do regularly.

 

I myself watch porn maybe 2-4 times a week, and I'm in a 3 year relationship right now. My sex life is good and I love my partner. Porn is only an issue when it starts to cause the viewer and a relationship problems, either through addiction or negligence on the partner. Porn may even help quell someones sexual energy and stop them from having a night stand. The issue for me however is younger people watching porn, and having a skewed vision of what making love and having sex should be; that's the real danger in my eyes.

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I'm a guy and I have had a few girlfriends in the past who not only had a far greater sex drive than me, but which also enjoyed watching porn. Granted, more guys do watch porn than women, but I don't think it is such a stark contrast as many would like to believe. It's not like you make it out to be that maybe 5% of women enjoy watching porn, and 99% of guys do regularly.

 

I myself watch porn maybe 2-4 times a week, and I'm in a 3 year relationship right now. My sex life is good and I love my partner. Porn is only an issue when it starts to cause the viewer and a relationship problems, either through addiction or negligence on the partner. Porn may even help quell someones sexual energy and stop them from having a night stand. The issue for me however is younger people watching porn, and having a skewed vision of what making love and having sex should be; that's the real danger in my eyes.

 

So I'm curious. Why do you watch porn when you have a partner who can send nudes or you even make your own videos?

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I don't think its an issue to watch porn. It only becomes a problem if you choose that over having sex and real intimacy with your partner .

 

I can definitely see both sides but now that I think about it, in my opinion it's not much different than getting nudes from a random

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You aren't going to get one specific answer to your question, OP. It's subjective.

 

What's fine for some isn't fine for others. There's no real right or wrong; it depends on the couple and where they agree their boundaries are.

 

For what it's worth, I don't think it's the same at all as getting "nudes from a random", as one would assume you'd need to be in some type of direct contact with the sender in order to even receive them. That's quite different from downloading porn from the internet of people you have never met and have zero personal communication with.

 

But I am gathering that you asked this because you are not okay with your boyfriend watching it, correct?

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So I'm curious. Why do you watch porn when you have a partner who can send nudes or you even make your own videos?

 

Sometimes when my gf is at work and I am horny.. To kill boredom.. A refreshing change. Plus my gf isn't the type who would send nudes of herself, she would be too self conscious and I am not a person to have any notion to pressure someone to do such a thing.

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Sexting with someone else is closer to cheating. Porn and sex with your partner are two different things. One is entertainment arousal for release and the other is a real person with a connection. If your sex life is unsatisfactory because of excess porn viewing/masturbating then you need to have that talk with your bf.

Why do you watch porn when you have a partner who can send nudes or you even make your own videos?
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