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I almost died a couple of years ago from advanced cancer. The treatment was brutal. I've been in severe debt. I worked my way out of it. I've been betrayed by friends. Nothing compares to the pain I feel from losing my partner. Even my most recent relationship, which lasted only a month and a half, has taken a severe toll on me. For the three weeks it took for from our initial split to the very end, I could hardly sleep, barely eat, and my mind was consumed with thoughts of her. Even at this time, 48 hours after I made the decision to let go, I can't stop thinking of her. Break ups are my one true weakness.

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It hurts all of us. It hurts way more for the type of person who wears his heart on his sleeve. I had the same thing happened to me in January, take up a hobby, talk and go out with coworkers, friends can help. If you have a therapist see them it can help as well. Good luck, music helped me also

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Break ups are my one true weakness.

 

Do you have any idea why you have that reaction? Your reaction to ending a month and a half of dating should be a lot less brutal then advanced cancer treatment and almost dying. Why do you get so deeply attached so quickly? At a month and a half in you still barely know each other.

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Thank you mate. I've been through several break ups, so I consider myself a bit of an expert on getting over an ex lol. I've been concentrating on work, talking with friends, exercising, doing a little bit of clothes shopping. My true distraction is researching how to get girls (PUA). Every time I start watching videos, I get a bit lost in the material. I need to get some new pictures and I'll put up my online profiles again. I know I'll get over her. She didn't treat me well at the end and it makes it easier to let her go.

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Do you have any idea why you have that reaction? Your reaction to ending a month and a half of dating should be a lot less brutal then advanced cancer treatment and almost dying. Why do you get so deeply attached so quickly? At a month and a half in you still barely know each other.

 

I don't know why I have that reaction in general. It's a complete mystery to me. If I could buy away this pain for the rest of my life for the $380,000 I have in my bank account, I would easily make that purchase.

 

We went fast. This was the first time in my life I've done that. I'm not so naive to jump in so quickly, but she had just the right combination to suck me in. I thought I knew her very well within a month. Her feelings seemed to change in an instant.

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I thought I knew her very well within a month. Her feelings seemed to change in an instant.

 

Falling for someone makes you think you know them. We fill in all the blanks with positive traits because all the rushing love drugs in our brains.

 

Can I suggest you don't dig into PUA? It's not good for building relationships. It's often demeaning to women. Maybe you should spend some time figuring out why you get attached to quickly instead of diving into PUA type practices. Figuring yourself out is going to be a lot more productive in having positive relationships of all kinds then studying PUA.

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Falling for someone makes you think you know them. We fill in all the blanks with positive traits because all the rushing love drugs in our brains.

 

Can I suggest you don't dig into PUA? It's not good for building relationships. It's often demeaning to women. Maybe you should spend some time figuring out why you get attached to quickly instead of diving into PUA type practices. Figuring yourself out is going to be a lot more productive in having positive relationships of all kinds then studying PUA.

 

I'm not going to derail this thread, but I have been involved in PUA since 2005 and I find all of your claims to be false. And I don't get attached so quickly. This was the first time it's ever happened to me. I'm 39 years old and have dated a lot.

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PUA tactics will help you succeed in attracting the type of women who respond to them. But I've found that it often results in casual hookups. Which, if you're looking to hook up, is terrific. But if you're looking for a relationship, those tactics can't work long term because it's impossible to keep that act up. Sooner or later the "real" you will show up. And a woman of substance will wonder "who IS this guy??"

 

You are quite successful at hooking up, correct? Maybe something casual would work for you for now.

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I'm not going to derail this thread, but I have been involved in PUA since 2005 and I find all of your claims to be false. And I don't get attached so quickly. This was the first time it's ever happened to me. I'm 39 years old and have dated a lot.

 

Maybe your tactics cause for poor attachments... so much so that the first seeming "real" connection that comes along you are offering your heart and soul on a platter. Maybe this deep pain you feel is because you so rarely feel that real connection that you are over committed when you find it. Maybe PUA tactic calm you because emotional attachment is overwhelming for you so you purse a style of performing inauthenticity to hide from the pain that comes when you feel a real connection.

 

You do you. But that PUA stuff instills a lot of stuff that makes lasting committed relationships hard. Your connection to it might be hurting you more than you think in the long run.

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PUA tactics will help you succeed in attracting the type of women who respond to them. But I've found that it often results in casual hookups. Which, if you're looking to hook up, is terrific. But if you're looking for a relationship, those tactics can't work long term because it's impossible to keep that act up. Sooner or later the "real" you will show up. And a woman of substance will wonder "who IS this guy??"

 

Incorrect. The teachings of PUA that I learn from apply to all varieties of women. And I never act. It helped me get my ex-wife who I was with for ten years. And I don't know what you mean by a "woman of substance". Care to elaborate?

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Maybe your tactics cause for poor attachments... so much so that the first seeming "real" connection that comes along you are offering your heart and soul on a platter. Maybe this deep pain you feel is because you so rarely feel that real connection that you are over committed when you find it. Maybe PUA tactic calm you because emotional attachment is overwhelming for you so you purse a style of performing inauthenticity to hide from the pain that comes when you feel a real connection.

 

You do you. But that PUA stuff instills a lot of stuff that makes lasting committed relationships hard. Your connection to it might be hurting you more than you think in the long run.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by poor attachments. And I've had several real connections over the past 8 months or so. None of the other girls were good enough in my book, so I didn't get int a relationship with them, but the connections were real. I don't agree that I over-commit, but I'm not even sure what that means. I was with my ex-wife for ten years. I believe that contradicts any claim that I avoid emotional attachment. My learning from PUA has taught me to be more authentic, not less. And I seek real connection, not to avoid it. I don't know where that came from.

 

You don't know PUA as well as you think. PUA has helped me get more girls, higher quality girls, and allowed me to form stronger connections with them. I'm going to keep doing it no matter what negative stereotypes exist about it by people who haven't truly researched it.

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What I am saying is it has not helped to keep a woman.

 

I was with my ex-wife for ten years until I changed my mind on her. It helped me keep her. This was my first relationship since that break up. I don't think that's enough evidence to form a conclusion that it doesn't help me keep a woman.

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Well, none of us are going to convince you that it is degrading and any smart woman with a head on her shoulders will see this coming.

 

It's not degrading. I see no reason to form that conclusion. My recent ex was very intelligent. And I don't know what there is to see coming.

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It’s okay, I suffer from this same issue of getting overly attached to people especially partners too soon and I haven’t been in many relationships, but each and every single break up cut me like a knife whether the relationship lasted a month or a year . I have come to realize that I have deeper issues aka daddy issues which have led me to having these issues. I think you need to figure out why you you fall so deeply and quickly for people so you can either help yourself or get help.

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Break-ups can be extremely difficult. When I care for people, I give my all. As a result, I tend to protect and guard my heart to a point where I sometimes wonder if this is one of the main (if not biggest) reasons I'm single. A broken heart is painful.

 

I wish I had answers for you, CC. However, if you ever do find out what causes you to get attached, please share. I'd be interested in knowing.

 

On a different note, I don't want to detail your thread, but I'm curious - what type of PUA techniques do you use on women that actually work, or are the most successful?

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Incorrect. The teachings of PUA that I learn from apply to all varieties of women. And I never act. It helped me get my ex-wife who I was with for ten years. And I don't know what you mean by a "woman of substance". Care to elaborate?

 

You're so categorical it's frightening ! I like you at one point in my life looked into PUA and it did also help me get women, but I didn't want to see that these techniques mostly prey on broken women and

if you land a good woman by accident, then they suddenly see your real face a few weeks later and aren't interested in someone pretending to be something else !

Do yourself a favor, get more confident in yourself without using deception, think about it were the tables reversed, would you like being tricked into a relationship by a woman using PUA and suddenly

realize she's not what she pretended ? You really want to argue using lies and deception is the way to get a healthy long relationship... that's the PUA brainwash.

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