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My Girlfriend of 2 years on/off isn't very talkative when texting


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Hello, I thank you now for your time.

 

Me and my girlfriend have been together for a couple years. We've known each other for about 5 years. About 5 times throughout the relationship she's left me for other guys that always took advantage of her and left her at most a month into their relationship. She always came back to me after her other relationships. Every time she's broken up with me it was because I said or did something that made her uncomfortable. Each time I didn't realize that I did something wrong. Needless to say I'm very anxious and cautious now with everything I say to her.

 

The current status of our relationship is good. We both love each other very much and are vocal about it, exchanging hearts and "I love you"s in our texts.

 

This may be considered long distance, she lives 6 hours away from me, so we only get to see each other in real life once or twice a month.

 

Anyways, on to my concerns.

 

Recently she hasn't been very responsive, answering almost everything I say with "yeah" or "nice". We also find difficulty with conversations. We already know pretty much everything about each other, and intimate/sexual conversations are out of the question with our history.

 

I really just need help talking to her and getting her to open up and be more involved in our relationship. Breaking up or finding someone else is not an option. I love her very much and I know she feels the same.

 

Thank you for your time.

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Sorry to hear this. How did you meet? Why is she 6 hrs away after 5 years? It doesn't sound sustainable and clearly she wants a local bf because LDRs are a headache and very unfulfilling. what does she need to "open up" about?

Every time she's broken up with me it was because I said or did something that made her uncomfortable. we only get to see each other in real life once or twice a month. I really just need help talking to her and getting her to open up and be more involved in our relationship.
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How many times do you have to be dumped like garbage before working on yourself and realize you're not garbage? And you're walking on eggshells, fearing that the garbage woman will take you out to the curb yet again.

 

Whatever it takes to work on your self worth, do so, or you will live a life of relationship toxicity. Go to therapy, read articles and books on boosting your self esteem. Dump the dumper and don't date again until you reach the goal of high self worth. And then date locally. It has a higher chance of success than a LDR, is less expensive, and you actually get to enjoy 3D time with a warm, cuddly female. Take care.

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Yeah, she's controlling and manipulative. She breaks up with you whenever you say anything she doesn't like. She's keeping you on a short leash, training you.

 

You didn't say how old you are, but like Wiseman2 said, after 5 years and you're still not together. Plus she's broken up with you for 5 times. Come on. You know what's going on here. You need to get a real girl close to where you live and have a real relationship. Just because she says "I love you" in a text message does not mean she loves you. She says it to control you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

OP, this is not the behaviour of a woman who loves you. You need to get your head out of the Denial Pile.

 

You were and still are her back-up guy. She won't get more involved in the relationship, well, because she doesn't want to. I hate to be harsh, but you are setting yourself up for another heartbreak.

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You're not in a relationship, you're eff buddies.

 

You're six hours apart and you don't see one another enough to nurture a true relationship that can last. How do I know... because she's dumped you for other men many, many times now so you're filler until the next guy hits on her.

 

Do yourself a favor and go cold turkey withdrawl. Zero contact will help you to get over your codependent addition to her. She's a heartless shrew who uses you.

 

While you're recovering from your addiction to her, seek out a codependents anonymous meeting takin place near you or book some personal therapy so that you don't let any other heartless shrews into your life again in the future.

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