MrJack101 Posted February 25, 2018 Share Posted February 25, 2018 Two months ago I finally had the courage to put my foot down in a very one sided relationship. The relationship was about 7 months long. She did not contribute much at all, neither financially nor emotionally. She was always the one in power and she never told me she loved me or really cared about me. Yet I still loved her and was very open to her about that but it all felt very one sided, even the sex was all about her needs and not mine. In December last year I finally had enough. I called her and broke up with her, telling her that I don't think there is a future. Over the course of the following week we did not talk much at all. I send her one text becasue of some things she still had at my place. She responded and told me she missed me and it is very hard for her without me. I believed her and started thinking about the plans we had and I started to feel regret. I cried to myself a lot and I could feel the loss. When she came to pick up her things I told her that I think that I made a mistake to leave her becasue I love her. She said she needs time to think about it. When she was about to leave I broke down in front of her crying and begging for another chance but she just walked away. I sent her another text the next day to ask what her thoughts were and she did not respond to it, yet she kept texting me about other things that went on in her life. Just friendly stuff, nothing really romantic. I responded and tried to keep it friendly but never initiated anymore. Then she called me and she told me that she cares about me as a friend but that she never loved me. I cried so hard and told her that we can work it out, but she said she had to go and hung up. She was very cold and she didn't show any emotion. It seemed like she enjoyed seeing me cry and that she wanted me to be hurt. That was the last time I heard her voice. Over the past two months I kept sending her texts. And when I look back at them now I hate myself for the things I said. She rarely replied and two weeks ago she told me to move on and then blocked me off entirely. Then I got one last email from her saying that she hopes I can get over her soon, that she doesn't really care too much about what I had to say, and that she wishes me all the best. Today when I look back at my actions, I regret having given up all this power. I handled this breakup so badly and I wish I had done things very differently. I think that if I had cut her off right away she would still be listening to me and I wouldn't have lost all of her. I would still have an equal amount of power. I never wanted it to be about that, but I feel that she made it about that by having continued her nice and friendly texts and then call me to tell me that I didn't mean anything to her. It feels like she enjoyed seeing me beg for her. It made her go from sad to happy in a very short time. Lesson learned. From now on after a breakup I will make sure to make them feel like they didn't mean anything to me. If this is the best way to not lose control by making them doubt all we had, then I have learned a lot about how to handle these situations in the future. That's what she did to me and it totally shifted the power in her favour when I was the one who broke up. I just never had experienced these kinds of power dynamics and I was naive to believe that being nice and open with my feelings is the best way to handle this. This whole experience changed me and my values and it is extremely hard to get over this. I now hate her yet she doesn't even care at all about how she made me feel. Does anyone know this feeling? Where does it come from? Is it really only about the loss of power or would I feel like this no matter how it had been handled? And how do I get over this? Link to comment
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