Jetta Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 He heard about my blood clot and called to check on me, said he loves me very much. We are discussing a date in a neutral location, and he says he's willing to try to smooth things over with my mom. I really love him, my best friend likes him a lot. I got a book on relationships and communication I'm reading that is helping me resolve some of our bigger issues. And I have therapy tomorrow to help more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 What has changed that makes you think the relationship will work this time? You still have the issues of distance, the issues of living arrangements... Jetta, if nothing has changed then you'll run into the same issues. I think you should stop seeing him and focus on getting a place of your own and a working connection with your daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 Oh God! Jetta you never learn Guess your mother will now throw you out. You seem to be a glutton for punishment! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 What are the bigger issues that you two need to resolve? Is he also reading the book? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 This is not about your mom. It is not how much be apologizes. Its about this not being an appropriate relationship. Its not about him "making up with mom" - its about you not being able to stand not being in a relationship. Again -- continue working if you still are, continue with your treatment, get to the point where you can have unsupervised visits with your daughter and even get partial custody --- forget about men -- your daughter will carry things into adulthood and you have a chance to turn things around versus her having the narrative of mom losing custody, feeling its more important to date than to make things right to be in her life, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetta Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 The big problem is distance. The book is helping me navigate that problem. Which is how we are meeting for a date. I'm still open to dating, looking and rentals (making a call after work today about one), and seeing my daughter. Have a dinner with her on Saturday. I'm testing the book theories on him really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 But you said there are other bigger issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdie Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 You said you made a list of pros and cons and the cons were winning....so? Why are you so afraid of being alone? You NEED some time away from men Jetta. You haven’t even tried actively staying away and being single, you need to focus on you. Go read your old threads....you’ve acknowledged you’re codependent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 Jetta, why do you come here? You do not follow anyone's advice - this has been going on for a LONG time. It seems to only be about attention-seeking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 "He refuses to drive up and would rather end things than compromise so I too said we're done. So much for a happy valentines day. I was working on a pros/cons list and the cons were winning anyway. He's not relationship material, at least not for me, with his refusal to compromise." What happened to the woman in her 20s that he was also dating? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 We are guilty of enabling this behavior, by repeatedly trying to advise you on your problems. Not good. You are not interested in changing your ways. Wish you luck. Hope that you can find an existence that does not rely on crappy men that you repeatedly get involved with. Also hoping that you will find the way to putting your daughter first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetta Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 He's not dating a 20 year old he doesn't like her says shes disloyal, she likes him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 He's not dating a 20 year old he doesn't like her says shes disloyal, she likes him. What happened to this? "He refuses to drive up and would rather end things than compromise so I too said we're done. So much for a happy valentines day. I was working on a pros/cons list and the cons were winning anyway. He's not relationship material, at least not for me, with his refusal to compromise." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 He's not dating a 20 year old he doesn't like her says shes disloyal, she likes him. It doesn't matter if he *likes* her or not. If she is hanging around him and going out with him or such, how he feels doesn't matter. The fact that she is around matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.