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Girlfriend constantly criticizes me


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This morning we woke up and said good morning too each other. I said to her J, her 9 year old son, stayed up late last night. He came in our room asking for cheezits at 2 in the morning. I thought it was somewhat silly and funny. i left it at that didn't say anything else. She said well he hogged me because i told him to stop playing xbox at midnight and go to bed

then she kept going on saying things like well its not a school night... sounds like you have a problem with it.... why didnt you say something..... i think if his personality is not effected that telling him to get off the because you dont want him to play his xbox is controlling. I then said well he had been playing all day and he needs to rest his eyes and get some sleep. She said well it doesnt bother me so basically it shouldnt bother you. she said thats weird that you are bringing this up to me. your jealous because your parents didnt let you play as much as he does when you were a kid. at this point im very irritated by her comments and tone of voice so i told her stop talking because what she was saying was irrelevent at this point. i got out of the bed apparently doing so the blanket hit her in the face. she tells me hey B$%#& you hit me the face with the blanket. i told her sorry B$%#& . anyway this just escalated from there. i told her youre right it would be better if i didnt live here. because she always tells me it was more fun when we didnt live together. we have been living together 9 months and this a constant issue. i went to the living room to try and study and get away from her She came out of the room crying saying i hurt her feelings when i said i should move out. shes like before i go to work today you better let me know what u wanna do because if u send me to work like this i will dump you and probably cheat on you. this her most of the time constanly over reacting and critical. its so draining being with her. i love her but more and more the idea of moving out is appealing to me We have a 9 year age gap I'm 28 shes 37 and reminds of that all the time that im not on her level mind wise. I feel i cant say certain things to her or shell get defensive but shell call me sensitive in a heart beat. She says im the most sensitive person ever.

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You should not be interacting with her son in the way you are -you are not his father, his stepfather or married to his mother. It must be really confusing for him to have you living there and participating in parenting/disciplining. Certainly if he behaves disrespectfully to you you can say something or ask his mom to say something.

 

She's not just being critical -if she takes it to the nth degree and threatens to "cheat" then it sounds like you two don't have much of a healthy relationship right now.

 

This is what I would do. For the sake of the child move out ASAP. Then, if you two decide to stay together, go on dates and be together when her son is not around (i.e. if he stays with his father or grandparents, etc). If you're serious about a future see a counselor or some third party who can help with communication skills.

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You should not have moved in and I think her actions are consistent with the kind of poor judgement and abusive tendencies that led her to that decision to let you move in.

Not only would I not tolerate someone treating me the way she treats you, i wouldn't be involved with someone who treats a child so negligently.

 

I suggest you move out and find someone more stable.

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Well, she's trying to show you who's boss. It's not so much the 9-year age difference as it is an issue of control. I think any parent would have sent her kid to bed earlier. And technically he's not your kid, so you have no authority over him. And you did keep out of it. But she wanted you to know that she's in charge.

 

You didn't mention her past relationships, but I'm willing to bet she was in a past controlling and manipulative relationship, possibly with the baby daddy, and she's picked up this behavior.

 

If you're hanging around this relationship, you should be on the lookout for any additional signs of controlling behavior towards you. If she's constantly picking fights over little things, she's trying to be manipulative and keep you passive. You should think about leaving if she always looking to pick an argument.

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