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We've been broken up for a year and I still love him.


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Around this time last year, I met a boy my age (we were 17) at school. We immediately "clicked" and began dating. I had dated other guys before him but something about him was different, I cannot tell you what because I myself am not sure of it, but there was this connection between us I've never had with anyone before. The month that we dated was truly the happiest month of my life. When we broke up because he "didn't know what he wanted" I was truly broken. I was told "you're young, you're going to get over him" but to be honest I never did. It's been a year and I'm still as in love with him now as I was when we were in a relationship. We went through periods of talking and not talking but we always seemed to end up talking again. Last week he called me and said he had been thinking about me and he thought about getting back together, but he is scared of commitment and he's never had a "real relationship" with anyone else but me. I know he likes me and he knows I like him but he doesn't want us to be together. I know this sounds really stupid but I truly do love him and I would do anything for him to be happy. In my darkest periods of depression the only thing that kept me going was the thought of him and the hope that we could possibly be together again. I've been on dates with other guys but it never seemed to go anywhere. If I have sex with other guys I imagine it's him (even though we never had sex). I know it sounds like I'm obsessed. I just feel like we were meant to be together and he's fighting it. I don't know. I'm tired of being in love with someone who doesn't want me but no matter what I do I'm still attached to him.

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Well, there's a number of issues here. You only went out with this guy for a month. I don't think you really know him. You're in love with the idea of love rather than really being in love with him. Also this guy bailed out on you. Of course, if he was only 17, you both were too young for a serious, serious relationship. So now he's thinking of you, why didn't he just ask you out on a date? Why all the drama about getting back together? Do you actually have to get back together to just go out on a date? He should have just asked you out on a date and see how it goes. That's what dating is for -- to get to know each other. So it seems like things are overly dramatic here. You might not even like him once you really get to know him. And he seems to be a bit wishy-washy. Maybe you needed more time with him to fall out of love with him. But I think maybe you should go out with him on a couple of dates and see if you still love him and whether he's less wishy-washy.

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