How do I leave the right way, long relationship and 4yo daughter

[DrewVincent1]

Okay, here goes. I’ve just joined this site so I don’t know what I’m doing but I’m desperate. I’ve been with my girlfriend since 2012. We also have a 4 year old little girl. I’m 24 and she is 22 in May. Our relationship has been bad for quite some time, more bad than good really, and tbh I take a lot of the blame for how crap it’s been. I could have been a way better partner to her, and she has been brilliant throughout dealing with me. We don’t have a violent relationship (I could never do that to her) and I don’t even call her names or really scream when we argue because I don’t feel like could upset her that way on top of an arguement. I have however been very lazy with our relationship, and she doesn’t trust me either (but that’s something I don’t want to speak about, let’s just say I was a d*ck once at the start of our relationship). The way the relationship is now, is basically me promising it will be better, it being really good for a day or two and then going bad again with arguements and such, mainly stemming from me going into bad habits or laziness. I know I don’t deserve her, she shouldn’t have to deal with me. I do love her and I think she feels the same (sometimes). We have a 4 year old beautiful little girl who I know she would never stop me seeing if it did end, but it would suck not being able to see her whenever I wanted. I’ve looked at sites like this in the past looking for ways to help, but know, I don’t think it really can last the way we are, promise is just a word at this point, and I know I can’t make up for this anymore. We have been together so long, and I know I would do everything to help her out after it would happen, but i just don’t know how to make it happen, I’m scared and the last think I want to do is hurt her more. I don’t know what to do anymore.

[DanZee]

Well, you need to fix yourself up. Stop drinking and treat your girlfriend the way you want to be treated. Think twice and take a deep breath before you start any arguments with your girlfriend. Is it really worth arguing about with the woman who gave birth to your child? Most of the time it's just you being a jerk. If you're out of milk or something, don't yell at her. Do something about it yourself! You want your daughter to think of you this way? Or cause her to be abused because she thinks women should be treated by men this way? You're the man. You need to set an example and help your girlfriend take care of the house and raise your daughter. You can change if you want to change, and the first step is to say to yourself, I am not going to argue ever again with my sweet, lovely girlfriend. You can do it.

[DrewVincent1]

Thing is, I don’t really ever drink, and I don’t ever really start any arguments, it’s just based on my attitude. And I’m not totally fixed in once spot at home. I go to the store, help with cleaning most of the time. Its more of an emotional laziness on times tbh. I’m not trying to justify myself, I just do t want to seem totally inept, though it also looks like I have made up my mind in this response.

[DanZee]

Well, then, I guess it all depends on what you're calling emotional laziness and what the arguments are about if you that you don't start. Can't really give you too much advice if you son't give any details about what actually is going on. Are you depressed? Bipolar? Do you care about this girl? What's going on?