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boyfriend smoking weed


Jaki987
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Hi, my boyfriend (27 y/o) and I (19 y/o) have been dating for the past few months. Normally I do not get involved with guys who smoke cigarettes or weed as I find the smell distasteful, however, my current boyfriend used both. I brought it up that I did not like the smell and asked if he would be willing to quit. He has been very considerate and has made an effort to quit smoking and reduce the amount of weed he smokes, however, I can tell that he seems unwilling to quit smoking weed. It's only been about 3 months since we got together so I'm not sure if it's too much for me to ask for him to quit smoking weed, especially if he seems unwilling and after making him quit cigarettes. The only problem is that it is starting to bother me and put a strain on the relationship, especially as I am unsure whether he plans on quitting in the future. I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation and how you dealt with it, or advice on this subject in general. Thank you very much!

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Yes, it's too much. A girlfriend is not a parent, and you knew who you were dealing with when you started dating him. It's fair to raise boundaries for YOU, such as, I won't be around you if you're stoned or if I smell it on you, or to disallow it in your home or around you. But asking him to curb behaviors that don't impact you is beyond your scope.

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No, you have no right to ask someone to quit something or change for you. If what they are into isn't acceptable to you, then you don't get involved or you end things as you realize that it's not something you will tolerate.

 

Don't get involved with anyone hoping they will change. You either like them as is or you move on and find someone you like as is.

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The question is would he quit if you weren't around? The answer is no he wouldn't.

 

If you force him to choose you or weed and he chooses you he will resent you and probably sneak around getting high anyways.

 

If smoking is a deal breaker for you then don't date guys that smoke.

 

Time to move on before you get more attached and it hurts a lot more to dump him. Besides you are way to young to be settling for a guy that is not right for you. 27 isn't that old but you are just 19 and have a lot of life to live and things to learn and experience with people closer to your age. I am sure there are plenty of guys in there early twenties that would love to date you.

 

Lost

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You are very incompatible. Do yourself a favor and date nonsmokers and non weed-smokers and guys closer to your age. People don't change, they just hide stuff better. It's not "grown up" to date losers. Where did you meet him, since you have so little in common?

Hi, my boyfriend (27 y/o) and I (19 y/o) It's only been about 3 months since we got together so I'm not sure if it's too much for me to ask for him to quit smoking weed, especially if he seems unwilling and after making him quit cigarettes.
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Normally I do not get involved with guys who smoke cigarettes or weed as I find the smell distasteful,
Would you date him if he changed his marijuana intake from smoking it to vaping it? You didn't say anything about not liking it in general... just that you didn't like the smell. Vaping it or switching up to edibles would avoid you having to smell it.

 

So... is it that he smokes, period? Or; is it that you just don't like the smell?

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Hi, my boyfriend (27 y/o) and I (19 y/o) have been dating for the past few months. Normally I do not get involved with guys who smoke cigarettes or weed as I find the smell distasteful, however, my current boyfriend used both. I brought it up that I did not like the smell and asked if he would be willing to quit. He has been very considerate and has made an effort to quit smoking and reduce the amount of weed he smokes, however, I can tell that he seems unwilling to quit smoking weed. It's only been about 3 months since we got together so I'm not sure if it's too much for me to ask for him to quit smoking weed, especially if he seems unwilling and after making him quit cigarettes. The only problem is that it is starting to bother me and put a strain on the relationship, especially as I am unsure whether he plans on quitting in the future. I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation and how you dealt with it, or advice on this subject in general. Thank you very much!

 

Wow, I was in this same situation when I was 19--dating a 27 year old weed-smoker! The only difference is, I smoked it too! And cigarettes. But by 27, I had stopped with the weed. I'd stopped by 22 or 23, actually.

 

I doubt you will be able to change him. At 27, he's been building his life around smoking. I think you will find, as I did, that your guy is behind the curve in a couple of other ways, as well.

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