Jump to content

My Wife and Her New Boss


KnightMan
 Share

Recommended Posts

Do not go on the blame game or laundry listing things. You’ve had enough and you said already. You will not be subjecting yourself to 2 weeks of torture either. So she either cancel or you both find a way to agree on a deal that makes you comfortable. Two weeks out... enough time to pack for you!

 

 

okay got it, work conference, password to phone

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What about the freaking watch?!?!? I’d be furious about that

 

You're the first one to point out the watch, she knows I've always wanted a watch

she never gave me watch as a gift in 7 years, she works with this guy and buys him one within 6 months

 

I am livid about that friggin watch

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You wife is definitely having an affair.

 

.

 

Yep. If it hasn’t already gotten physical, the trip is perfect to go all the way. New style, protecting the phone, late nights, lack of concern for your feelings, crappy sex life...

 

Hope I’m wrong but at the very least there is some really inappropriate behavior going on. You have reason to be deeply concerned.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I'm not even sure what the hell just happened, but I probably won't need to call my buddy.

She confessed, says they been seeing each other almost the entire time she started working there

Says it's my fault, I allowed it to happen (somebody please explain to me what the hell that even means)

Lots of tears (not from me), and she completely rewrote our marriage history

 

She says she loves me but not in love with me and hasn't been for sometime

She said she needs space and wants to separate and move out to figure out what she wants

I don't understand any of this at all, she never once told me she was unhappy.

 

I'm just really crushed right now, I feel like my heart has been ripped out

I'll give a complete update later about everything that transpired when she came home

It was actually pretty crazy.

 

right now I just need a drink.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well I'm not even sure what the hell just happened, but I probably won't need to call my buddy.

She confessed, says they been seeing each other almost the entire time she started working there

Says it's my fault, I allowed it to happen (somebody please explain to me what the hell that even means)

Lots of tears (not from me), and she completely rewrote our marriage history

 

She says she loves me but not in love with me and hasn't been for sometime

She said she needs space and wants to separate and move out to figure out what she wants

I don't understand any of this at all, she never once told me she was unhappy.

 

I'm just really crushed right now, I feel like my heart has been ripped out

I'll give a complete update later about everything that transpired when she came home

It was actually pretty crazy.

 

right now I just need a drink.

 

This is like deja vu. Verbatim. As someone who’s seen it, heard it and lived it. And heard this story countless times from others.

 

My immediate advice to you would be to stay calm. Take a few deep breaths. Relax. Maybe have that drink. Whatever you do though, do not confront her right now and play the blame game. It’s totally fruitless. IF you feel confrontational, call that buddy you talked about and see if you can crash there for the night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry that you’re going through this. Not knowing is gut wrenching. Trying to find out is gut wrenching. The aftermath is gut wrenching. There’s nothing pretty about something like this. Nothing at all. Luckily she was honest before your suspicions drove you to go a step further to find out. I hope you find peace of mind soon. I know the pain you are feeling. I’m just really sorry. No one deserves this.

 

Everyone here on the forum will help you through. Keep writing. It’s theraputic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

UPDATE: Here's what happened when my wife came home this evening.

 

So my wife comes home and immediately throws herself at me and wants to get it on (WTH???) It's been months so to say I was a little shocked is an understatement. But something strange happened, instead of going upstairs (which I wanted to do badly). I didn't get aroused, I don't know where it came from but I got pissed, I mean really pissed.

 

I pushed her off of me and told her we needed to talk, she flips out gets angry, tells me I don't trust her so I decided to bluff her and tell her I knew everything (I didn't) and this was her one chance to come clean. She breaks down and starts crying and says they have feelings for each other then asked me what did I expect, throws some bizarre stuff at me about how all the flirting was on purpose to get my attention to fight for our marriage. I didn't even know how to respond to that. She claims they just grew closer working together so much, but swears up and down it never went physical but that they did share a passionate kiss once in his office. I didn't even say anything to her, I just went upstairs, pullled out a suitcase and started packing her stuff, she asked what I was doing, I told her I would drive her over to his house so they could be together.

 

She gets hysterical, starts blaming me some more, some nonesense about how I never loved her, I literally pushed her into his arms, never paid enough attention to her, all crap. I asked her about the watch and she just froze, claims it was a fake and didn't mean anything. she's lying, I saw the credit card receipt,. Now she says she's confused and needs time to sort this all out, I just left her upstairs crying.

 

So that's where we are right now, she upstairs balling her brains out and I'm down here getting drunk

I gave this woman everything, busted my butt to pay for her classes, provided for her every need and this is how she repays me.

How can people do this to someone they claim to love and I'm not so sure it never went beyond kissing, she already lied about the watch

I don't know what's real and what's not anymore, my whole marriage has been one big lie and the worst part of all this is I still love her

 

but right now I hate her, how could she just throw everything away that we've worked for like this?

 

I'm so lost right now

Edited by KnightMan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is like deja vu. Verbatim. As someone who’s seen it, heard it and lived it. And heard this story countless times from others.

 

My immediate advice to you would be to stay calm. Take a few deep breaths. Relax. Maybe have that drink. Whatever you do though, do not confront her right now and play the blame game. It’s totally fruitless. IF you feel confrontational, call that buddy you talked about and see if you can crash there for the night.

 

Thanks for the advice

She's upstairs crying, I'm down here in my study, I don't feel confrontational

I feel numb, I feel nothing right now

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry that you’re going through this. Not knowing is gut wrenching. Trying to find out is gut wrenching. The aftermath is gut wrenching. There’s nothing pretty about something like this. Nothing at all. Luckily she was honest before your suspicions drove you to go a step further to find out. I hope you find peace of mind soon. I know the pain you are feeling. I’m just really sorry. No one deserves this.

 

Everyone here on the forum will help you through. Keep writing. It’s theraputic.

 

Thanks and you're right, the only comfort I have right now is typing in this forum and pouring my guts out to a bunch of internet strangers who have been more helpful and loyal to me in one day than my sweet innocent wife has been in the past 6 months.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dump her believe me in time you’ll feel 100% better. I went through this with my ex wife after 24 years together. She was banging a family “friend”..4 years later I’m fine and she’s still bonkers, off the deep end the kids don’t hardly talk to her anymore. Life’s too short to “save” something that’s changed beyond repair and in reality once you get crazy out of it it can be so much better. Trust me I did it and got through it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People do get past infidelity, but the cheating spouse has to be in a space to do so. She really has to want to figure herself out, to fight for the marriage. She has to be transparent and willing. Right now she doesn’t seem to be remorseful. She’s still thinking of herself by blaming you, but this is just the very beginning. I believe you handled yourself well. I think saying less is more. Let her sit with her thoughts. Let her sit with the mess she has created. If she has a conscious, then she will be completely honest. There is a good possibility that more has gone on between them as already understand that. Her initial reaction was very selfish, but I hope for the sake of your marriage, if you want to save it and rebuild, she gets her act together. Don’t settle, you’ve gotten some good advice here on conditions you should impose if you want to save the marriage. At the end of all this, do whats best for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the advice

She's upstairs crying, I'm down here in my study, I don't feel confrontational

I feel numb, I feel nothing right now

 

She's crying because now she's scared her world is about to fall apart, and your marriage.

Let her cry, do not feel sorry for her. What she did was a choice, not caused by you.

She could have let you know how she was feeling and chosen to work on your issues.

Falling into the arms of another man was not the right way to handle it.

I do understand how it happens. If she's willing to resign, cut contact, and work on your

marriage, you may be open to that. Problem is you might not ever trust her again.

Please don't drink to feel better. It only numbs the pain temporarily, then it resurfaces when sober.

I'm really sorry this happened to you.

 

I want to say with my ex, his suspicions of his wife and her business partner were true, and when he

divorced her, she moved in with the guy. She wasn't ever going to leave, it had been five years of it,

and she was staying married while having her lover too. People can be selfish that way. I will say even

though he divorced her, the anger he has for her moving in with the man is intense. Even though divorce

seems a great option to relieve the stress and hurt, sometimes it magnifies it. Either way, you're going to

have intense feelings to deal with, and it would be beneficial to you to seek out your own counseling alone

to work through your emotions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...