Old timer Posted January 30, 2018 Share Posted January 30, 2018 Hello everyone , I'm new to this forum . Found it while research online about unhappy marriage. I'm married 27 years, with grownup kids still live at home, and a good husband that I know loves me but doesn't do too much efforts to show it. He wasn't like this always, (of course time passes and takes away the good stuff with it ) but I somehow managed to live the day. I've come to a state now where I'm not sure I'm in the right place. I am not sure it will be wise to spend another 27 years just to realize I've waisted my life. My husband is a good guy, he really is, but he doesn't know how to make a woman feels good, he doesn't show apprecitation , he doesn't care if I'm sad or worried, he won't bother to dig in and find the cause for my sadness, let alone fixing problems. He can see I'm unhappy , sad , even for days , but he won't stop and ask why. He goes by "time will heal, nothing to do about it". He likes hiding problems under the carpet, if you don't see them ,they don't exist. Every time we had bumps in our marriage , it was always me to bring it up and find solutions. Never he tried . And if I'm not bringing it up , then it will never be spoken. That's how we got here. I can't take it anymore and I just gave up in away. I don't want to leave, but I don't want to stay. We live our life today as 2 roommstes, we take care of the house, we speak as usual, it's both of us together but everyone lives his life. We moved from active sex life to sexless life , I feel the distance between us grew so much that the no return point is very close for me. I don't think he feels or think the same, he thinks everything is OK but senses that something went wrong just because of the sexless life. And still he won't care enough to do anything about it. Time will heal... I'm not sure if I stay with him because I don't want to hurt my kids ( we have no family , just us, so this will hurt them hard), and to not leave my comfort zone, or because I love him. I truly don't know , but I do know that I feel sorry for him (he has no family at all, no parents, no siblings)and don't feel comfortable to hurt him. I care about him, but I don't feel I'm in love anymore, I maybe love him, but definitely not in love. He hurt me so many times, with his silence , with his weird ways of ignoring alarm points, with his careless behaviour, that I am in a position now when I feel great distance between us, very angry and upset, very frustrated from him, very disappointed , and most of all feel alone. I cry myself every night in bed, it's my time of running away , and then in the morning another day to fight with my dilemma . I'd love to take a therapist for marriage but it's an out of the question option for us due to technical reasons, location, money, too much involvement of the kids in our life, and alike. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated , from both sexes. Thank you . Link to comment
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