AloneNoMore Posted January 19, 2018 Author Share Posted January 19, 2018 Are you still keeping in contact with her?Nope. I blocked her everywhere once she finally gave up the truth. It wasn't for me but it was for her to face herself. Now since she finally dealt with it maybe she will learn something from it. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 Yeah, they need to know they can't just use people when they want to and then discard them when they don't have any use for them until the next time. Funny thing, my ex accused me of never loving him when I cut off contact. He seriously expected me to keep myself available to him forever for whenever he wanted an ego boost or some attention. And when I refused, he tried to put the blame on me. Stupid. Link to comment
April1234 Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 I think you made the right call. If your partner is spending the weekend with an unknown guy you know nothing about and does not want you there it seems like there is something up. Especially since you don't even know this person she should have told you general information about him and have you meet him. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 I think you made the right call. If your partner is spending the weekend with an unknown guy you know nothing about and does not want you there it seems like there is something up. Especially since you don't even know this person she should have told you general information about him and have you meet him. She already did admit the truth. It's in his post a page or two back. Link to comment
AloneNoMore Posted January 19, 2018 Author Share Posted January 19, 2018 Yeah, they need to know they can't just use people when they want to and then discard them when they don't have any use for them until the next time. Funny thing, my ex accused me of never loving him when I cut off contact. He seriously expected me to keep myself available to him forever for whenever he wanted an ego boost or some attention. And when I refused, he tried to put the blame on me. Stupid.Yep she kept all the way up even after she told me the whole you don't care about me, you hate me, your mad at me and tells me this is why she knew I wasn't the one. I look back now and I wonder if she was even lying about it being her girlfriend on the phone and if it was him when she hung up that day I came in. She would get upset over me bringing my phone into the restroom and always act like she's suspicious of what I'm doing. Always wanted to know where I was or what I was doing. Even after the break I told her I was going out and she flipped going Where are you going? This wasn't my first rodeo sadly so I am used to projection from others to hide their own guilt. The thing is since I am used to it I am able to see it as projection. She tried from the start in her mind making it look like I was the one she should be suspicious of so in some twisted way she could feel her actions were warranted. I did wish her well and said now I can officially entertain meeting or even dates if I want. She flipped going you are going to date a week after? She goes I'd never do that to you. I'm like wait your upset I'm open to dating or entertaining a week after but spending a weekend with a guy is ok? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 It's always OK when they do it but it's not OK if someone does it to them. Logic or fairness has no place in their world. Shoot, my ex blatantly cheated on his girlfriend before me, but when she cheated on him he beat her up. Double standard much? When I called him out on it he said "NO ONE cheats on me!" But when I pointed out that HE cheated he said "I know who I am". I mean, what??? Best thing is to remove these selfish, toxic people from our lives and never look back. Link to comment
Juha Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 No offense but what is there to talk about here? I don't get why you are talking with her family? Whatever her issues are they are not your problem and there is no reason for you to talk with her family or her. I would not be bothered at all with anyone who would treat me that poorly and with total disrespect... Move on dude. Meet a women that is not messed up and does respect you So now even though I am the one that ended it and I guess you could say I was the dumper now I am in limbo until she talks to her mom and then we have our sit down to decide I guess from her standpoint if she can move forward into a healthy relationship or not. Me and her haven't spoken at all since Friday night not a peep and this is coming from a girl that constantly would ask what I'm doing where I'm at and was a textaholic. I did unblock her while we figure out what happens Monday or Tuesday Link to comment
Juha Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 I did not read all the way before posting this. I apologize man. Wow!!! She is such a crappy person. Great job deleting her from your life. She is living in a fantasy world. Can't believe how selfish she was with your feelings and how she was going to use you. I dated someone who did not treat me right and when we broke up, she wanted to be friends, I refused and wished her well and happiness. She went on a tirade telling me I was never there for her and she is asking for one thing and I could not even do that for her, etc, etc, guilt, guilt... It really is laughable when it is so transparent to you what they are doing. She also did lots of projection on me of how she was and treated me. It's been 4 years since break and over a year since she contacted me, although I did get a mystery text about ubering by my house one late night. Did not have the number in my phone so no idea who it was. I wish you luck finding a healthy and sane woman No offense but what is there to talk about here? I don't get why you are talking with her family? Whatever her issues are they are not your problem and there is no reason for you to talk with her family or her. I would not be bothered at all with anyone who would treat me that poorly and with total disrespect... Move on dude. Meet a women that is not messed up and does respect you Link to comment
journeynow Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 I blocked her everywhere once she finally gave up the truth. Good! It wasn't for me but it was for her to face herself. Now since she finally dealt with it maybe she will learn something from it. Nooooo! Do it for YOU. What she does with herself, her self-knowledge, her lesson-learning is her business. You, you've gained your own self-knowledge from this, and hopefully it adds to your judgement skills and BS radar going forward. The good qualities she may have had, are simply qualities you can acknowledge are valuable to you no matter who you are with. And the bad qualities also show you that the opposite of those are qualities you value in a relationship. So, you are better prepared to find a good fit. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 She told me I am forcing her either introduce me to him or I'm gone. And that she won't be forced. I told her I won't put up with someone who should be my partner doing something so disrespectful and I told her my concerns for days and she still told me basically too bad I'm going no matter what. Balls of steel man. Keep up the good work, your going to go far. Link to comment
Giblesp Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Fantasy is all it is and she will end up hurt , lost, and alone in the future no doubt. And thats what happens if she's going to be a lier and cheater. But she is no longer a concern, her behavior doesn't deserve any further attention. Link to comment
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