Is he ghosting me after 3 great dates?

[Chrissy1187]

I may be writing this too premature, but just wanted to get a take on it. So I just started seeing this guy I met on bumble I'm 30F he is 31. So we had a great first date, heavy kissing at the end. We communicated in some way each day and ended up hanging out 4-5 days later. We live 45 min apart so I went to go see him this time. We went out to dinner and then to 4 different fun little bars/jazz clubs, he even had two of his friends (a couple) meet us at the 3rd place we went, which he checked with me first, we had a blast and I ended up spending the night at his place. We made out, a little under the clothes touching but thats it. It was fine in the morning, had breakfast and I went on my way. We then had our third date about 3 days after that. Again, we had a blast dinner and a movie (this was on a tuesday night). During the date he was talking about us hanging out again on the following Saturday, and also hitting up another movie on the next tuesday. During the movie he was affectionate, we kissed at the end of the night. Talked about seeing eachother this weekend. We both texted that night when we got home, I said I had a great time and he replied with the same.

 

The next morning after, which was yesterday, he texted me in the morning a funny video to watch, so I did and replied that it was funny and I also said good morning. He did not say anything back to me all day, which is fine. Then that same evening (last night), he sent a snapchat to me and to his story feed of a sunrise, i chatted him and said "pretty:-)" he did not say anything back which is still fine. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 11:30, i had no missed messages or anything from him which is unusal since we have been communicating each day and I had not heard from him all day other then him sending me that funny video in the morning, which is a little weird since he really good about texting me back. I texted him and asked if he was still awake and stated that i fell asleep on the couch and was just seeing how his day went ;-). The weird thing is is that i saw he was active on facebook 10 min after I sent that text and he never said anything to me. So now it is the next day and I have yet to hear from him. He has also deleted his bumble account.

 

I'm wondering if he is starting the process of ghosting me? we are still friends on facebook, IG and snapchat and he has already been active on facebook this morning. I really thought we were feeling each other and he even mentioned during one of our dates that he has not been really going on other dates. He has been pretty active in pursuing me and I have not been playing games, but also letting him do a little more of the chasing.

 

Its just weird. The only things I can think of would be that he was looking on my facebook and saw that I am still cool with my ex boyfriend from 7mos ago. We still comment on each others pages and such, we just have a friends dynamic, we dont hang out all the time or anything but we are cool. Which this guy knew; we both stated we were cool with our exes on one of our dates. I'm just trying to think of anything I said or did.

 

Should I wait for him to get in touch with me or should i reach out to him tonight if i have not heard anything or wait until tomorrow (friday) and ask if we are still hanging out on Saturday? Some people have told me that he may have gotten scared that he was liking me so much and backed off and deleted his bumble or that he met someone else (but he told me he wasnt really dating others). So i dont know how to proceed from here. Im not freaking out like crazy, I'm just more in the what the heck? vibe, where did he go? He was pursuing me, super affectionate, talking about future dates.. now nothing.. I know its been only 2 days, but he was talking to me everyday and he would always text me back.. so now I don't know if I need to just back off or reach out. I want to see him this weekend, but now im thinking that may not happen. I probably would not think so much into it if i did not know he has been on his phone and using social media but then not texting me back and he deleted his bumble which is weird.

""

[j.man]

You gotta chill out.

[Honeycomb8]

You only been on 3 dates. That's nothing, so just relax.

 

Though I really don't understand why so many ppl meet ppl and straight away spend the night. If it's all for fun go on ahead,but you want them to take u seriously wait a while before doing that.

[SweetGirl28]

I hate social media . You end up reading too much into every little thing, which may be nothing.

If you have to worry about an ex bein on your fb, perhaps it's best to not share your fb info

with potential partners. I never give mine out(not that I've been using it anyway).

 

It could be he saw something that made his thoughts wander, but maybe not.

Wait for him to contact you. If he doesn't by Friday night, then reach out .

[Chrissy1187]

yeah just a few things. I spent the night at his house because he lives 45 min away and it was late and we had been drinking and he insisted i stay. He was a gentleman and did not push anything, and it seemed super chill in the morning, but yes I agree this early i usually would not but it was the best option. With the facebook thing, i was hesitant but he initiated friend requesting me and I felt like he would think it was weird if i did not accept, he did this after our first date. I was not worried about him seeing anyting on my facebook but just trying to come up with a reason that would turn him off. I know I need to chill out but it is just weird.. all of a sudden he is gone when he has been pursuing me.. and I am starting to like him so I am a little bummed.

[maew]

Chiiiiiillll.... it's only been 3 dates... and don't text him again until Friday night or Saturday morning to confirm plans. He is probably just making sure you are not going to go stage 5 clinger on him by pulling back on the communication... and he has a life that doesn't include you (yet) so give him the space to live it, and put your phone away and go and live yours.

[Hollyj]

Yes. Chill out. If you hadn't heard from him in a couple of weeks, I would say yes. It has only been ONE DAY!

 

Wait until he reaches out.

[Starlight925]

I don't know if he's ghosting you or not, but I do know a few things that you should take to heart for your next guy:

 

1) Do not spend the night so early. I don't care if it's over-the-clothes, all innocent, etc. Too much too soon.

 

2) Stop with the social media. Sure, you're on Snapchat/FB/Twitter/Whatsapp/IG/Youtube/everyotherfreakingSMsite. But don't friend, Snapchat, IG story, or whatever else, a brand new guy. Just don't.

[reinventmyself]

I don't know if he's ghosting you or not, but I do know a few things that you should take to heart for your next guy:

 

1) Do not spend the night so early. I don't care if it's over-the-clothes, all innocent, etc. Too much too soon.

 

^^ This

I can't help but wonder if you would feel the same anxiety if you had not stayed the night with him.

Taking things slowly and not becoming attached or vulnerable so early in the game will keep you grounded.

When things like this happen it wouldn't effect you quite so much.

[Honeycomb8]

Doesn't matter how far he lives. Show restraint at the start. Most guys prefer that.

[Wiseman2]

Yep, this. Things won't be all the time everytime after a few dates. Expect things to settle into a saner pace. No please no "are you ok?","are we still on?" type texts.

You gotta chill out.

[ManyDates]

When was his last relationship?

[milly007]

I'd completely back off at this point. Don't initiate anymore texts, etc.

 

You texted and asked how his day was. He still has yet to respond, so I'd leave the ball in his court.

 

Continue living your life and keep busy. Don't wait around hoping he'll text/call.

 

Did you delete Bumble yet? If not, continue getting to know other people.