Why You Won't Get Your Ex Back....Unless...*

[Carus]

Thanks Morello* ~ For all that you do. You are a great asset to this forum.

Are you dwelling on whether you should pursue your ex or maintain NC?

Not really but I am going through major withdrawals right now.....I am hitting the Depression stage.....

I think pursuing someone who dumped us make us look unattractive and a bit of a 'loser'. The other person is not making any effort, why should you? Having to convince someone to like us or be with us sound terrible. She will not value you if you do, even if you end up getting back together. You'll end up in a place where you'll never know if she came back out of guilt, pity or not having a better option compared to if she really wanted to

Despite the pain I am in, yes I agree with that^, even though I've never got back with an ex so I'm just going on what others say about it.....

If your ex knows where you stand - that you wanna get back together and work it out - I think this is effort enough from your part. But you know better about the specifics of your situation.

This is causing me a lot of confusion. Because of what I've done, which is acted cool with everything every time I did hear from her, I think she believes that I AM ok with being broken up and therefore, so is she....

 

I don't want to make this thread specifically about me, even though I did use my situation as the opening example, but thanks for checking in on me*

 

Carus*

[Morello]

I guess rekindling a relationship involves a very important variable: timing.

 

If you force things now and start to insist, you may blow your chance and look needy/desperate. Maybe she's not ready. It appears she's not, from your report of your last meet up. Let her be single for awhile so she can miss being with you. This takes some time... If she was ready, considering she has feelings for you (which I think she does), I doubt she wouldn't be at least initiating contact with you. She knows what you want, we're very bad at hiding these things. Especially to someone you have been together for long.

 

Live and let live, buddy. Let the universe do its thing. You have done your part. Try to shift your focus a little bit to other stuff. I know it's hard, but it's doable. The depression stage is temporary. "The only way out of hell is through it". It may look like you are getting worse but you're getting better, cause you're finally accepting that it's over. Whether you'll have another chance or not will be on some future chapter, this one is closed. You need to move on and try to be less attached to the outcome of this. A good time to learn how to love yourself again...

 

And thanks for your words. I appreciate very much your inputs in this community too. Stay strong.

 

PS: I know this topic is not about your situation, but examples make it easier do debate these things, so be it :)