Don’t know what happened.

[CBC2000]

We last spoke two days ago. I told her to do what she needs to do and that it’ll be ok. She responded positively. She’s on a weeks break between jobs so I thought it would be best to give her some time for herself.

 

Okay no that’s good, just give her a moment and then reach to her

[SherrySher]

Then it really could be personal problems or her being confused over someone else.

[ahd15]

Appreciate the feedback ladies.

[ahd15]

Better chance its another guy. I’m pretty bummed but what can you do. I told her to reach out if something changes. I’m not holding my breath but is that a thing?

[ahd15]

I don’t know maybe I’m in the wrong here to assume. Either way I wished her the best. Thanks for the roast free advice!

[CBC2000]

Better chance its another guy. I’m pretty bummed but what can you do. I told her to reach out if something changes. I’m not holding my breath but is that a thing?

 

Is there a reason why you think it’s another guy?

[ahd15]

Is there a reason why you think it’s another guy?

 

I don’t. It doesn’t matter. I’ve never experienced a situation like this so I jumped to conclusions without really understanding what she’s going through. I did some research and talked to a friend that deals with depression and Im a little ashamed of myself. Normally I’m pretty good with being putting myself in other people’s shoes and being compassionate but I totally dropped the ball.

I offered her support and she declined. Then asked if I’ll ever see her again (ball dropped) and she said at this point she doesn’t think so. Needless to say I’m bummed but I’d rather her get over whatever she’s facing than keep nudging her.

[Rozhni]

The thing most people won’t tell you is that it could be her anxiety and stress because of YOU. Maybe she feels like because you’re not showing that you’re obsessed with her, it’s causing her to get anxiety because she really likes you and wants you to like her just as much. THIS IS POSSIBLE! Obviously she’s not going to tell you something like this because that’s embarrassing but YOU NEVER KNOW!

 

I don’t think you have to worry bro. This girl likes you! She just wants to like you a little less that way you two can be equal. Attachment is never good and I feel like she’s getting attached and she wants to space herself. The best thing for you to do is say is give her space until she comes to you. IF she comes back to you, that will show that she REALLY likes you. The best thing you could do then is SHOW your interest in her a little more. Just make her feel like you really care.

 

If she never comes back. Reach out one last time after 2 weeks. By this time she’ll either accept or already be seeing/talking to the guy she left you for. (I don’t think this will happen.) Either way bro. You’re a catch and she see it if you give her all the space.

[ahd15]

The thing most people won’t tell you is that it could be her anxiety and stress because of YOU. Maybe she feels like because you’re not showing that you’re obsessed with her, it’s causing her to get anxiety because she really likes you and wants you to like her just as much. THIS IS POSSIBLE! Obviously she’s not going to tell you something like this because that’s embarrassing but YOU NEVER KNOW!

 

I don’t think you have to worry bro. This girl likes you! She just wants to like you a little less that way you two can be equal. Attachment is never good and I feel like she’s getting attached and she wants to space herself. The best thing for you to do is say is give her space until she comes to you. IF she comes back to you, that will show that she REALLY likes you. The best thing you could do then is SHOW your interest in her a little more. Just make her feel like you really care.

 

If she never comes back. Reach out one last time after 2 weeks. By this time she’ll either accept or already be seeing/talking to the guy she left you for. (I don’t think this will happen.) Either way bro. You’re a catch and she see it if you give her all the space.

 

Than means a lot! Thank you. I agree I think she does too but it’s not what’s on her mind at the moment and I understand that. I’m glad to have met her. I guess the timing was a little off. When we first started talking she mentioned her job was stressing her out so i think it finally caught up to her among other things I don’t know about.

As far as if she comes back around I’m sure we will become friends or more but if not, I still learned a valuable lesson.

[Rozhni]

When people say they have to work on themselves it doesn’t always mean they have someone else. Sometimes people really do need to work on themselves because they don’t think they’re “good enough” which is very depressing.

[Rozhni]

Than means a lot! Thank you. I agree I think she does too but it’s not what’s on her mind at the moment and I understand that. I’m glad to have met her. I guess the timing was a little off. When we first started talking she mentioned her job was stressing her out so i think it finally caught up to her among other things I don’t know about.

As far as if she comes back around I’m sure we will become friends or more but if not, I still learned a valuable lesson.

 

Live it up man! You’re young! When you’re an old grandpa your biggest worry will be whether or not you’ll have an okay bowl movement! You’re not going to be thinking about small things like this! Appreciate everything.

[ahd15]

When people say they have to work on themselves it doesn’t always mean they have someone else. Sometimes people really do need to work on themselves because they don’t think they’re “good enough” which is very depressing.

 

Right. From what I’ve seen she’s great so I think this was building up before I came along. She’s needs to figure this out. I can only support her if she asks but I’m a stranger at this point so I understand.

[Zippy2000]

Agree with smackie9, something happened with her like a new guy or an ex. You left the ball in her court best move you could have made.

 

There is no evidence of this and you are making assumptions. Best stick to facts.

 

OP, women are allowed to change their mind if they don't feel it.

[ahd15]

There is no evidence of this and you are making assumptions. Best stick to facts.

 

OP, women are allowed to change their mind if they don't feel it.

 

Zippy I sincerely appreciate your response and I agree, I take her at her word. That would be really messed up to use something a lot of people really struggle with as an excuse to beak it off with a guy. As for your comment to me, that is something I learned in my 20s the easy way so no trouble there. I haven’t made any attempts to reach out in a week so far and left on a positive note and I meant it.

 

There’s another thing. She has something that belongs to me and I’ll eventually want back. She said she’ll get it back to me last time we spoke (a week ago) and I gave her my address to mail it but it’s still not here. She just started a new job and I know where this item is so I’m letting it go for now because I’m taking her at her word. Can I live without it? Yes. Do I want to? No. It has sentimental value to me.

To me it’s an indication of me not being on her mind which is fine because there’s probably a lot going on and at the same time a part of me hopes that it’s a sign that she doesn’t want to send it back because she may want to see me again. Like I said I’m proud of how I handled this and I meant it. She’s wonderful even if she did change her mind.

I think I already know how to approach this but I’d like to hear opinions. I can be bitter and push her to send it but it’s not in my nature because if she is going through stress I’d feel terrible bringing it up since I do like her. I can wait and see if she reaches out and bring it up or I can let it go (which I wouldn’t want to do).

[ahd15]

I’m on here because I don’t want to burden my friends with my thoughts and my family lives far away. I’ve just started getting closer to them but holidays and birthdays I don’t see. Not looking for a pity party. Just seems like when I do the wrong things falls through and when I finally snap out of it, 30 years later, falls through too.

I play it cool I don’t stalk or blow up phones because it’s stupid to do. It’s actually really getting to me this time around. I know it’s not me or anything I did but she blew me away when I saw her. I mean I thought I was in over my head, she was so beautiful. I said it and gave in to my “what do I have to lose?” Attitude and it worked. And she did everything not to change my mind it was almost unfair. Then it hit a wall.