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Hey Bee,

 

A busy day keeps the heartache at bay! corrrny, but true!

 

I highly recommend the film.. it has Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine and Scarlett Johanssen in it ;)

 

Haha, it is indeed - will keep the Frustration out for you then!

 

Hope you get a good night's sleep.. i'm having an early one with music on.

 

S x

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Posting here coz I've read entire thread, and seems I'm experiencing similar feelings and emotions as yourself. Was together 7 years, we have 2 beautiful children, ex isn't with anyone else, but it's so confusing, coz we say we love and miss each other. Have good and bad days. NC is hard due to fact we have children. I don't want to get over her, but it just seems she can't try anymore, idk. Was my second partner, and this hurts so much more. Bah I'm just so lost, hope all involved in thread is doing well and not feeling like this.

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Some days are bad and I go through the feelings that you are going through. Some days I don’t experience them at all! It takes time to heal. I understand that it’s difficult to do the NC because of your children but I’d say when you do talk to her, only talk about your children. I’ve had many convos with my ex about our feeling and it always ended up with one of us confused, hurt or angry. You need time to heal. Go through the motions and the emotions. Feel free to rant if you need too. We’re all open ears. :)

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I think I’m going to have a good night sleep. I brought a new bed so it’s super comfy!

 

Today has been odd. My dad messaged me suddenly (haven’t spoken to him since Christmas) asking if I was ok? I asked him why and he just said he wanted to make sure. Makes me wonder if he’s seen something from my ex so now my mind is racing!

 

Same old for the weekend aha. I’ve not got to work so I’ll probably go for a walk :)

 

How about you?

 

Xx

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Hey Beeeee,

 

Me tooo... I'm super tired! Enjoy the new bed ;)

 

I wouldn't worry about what your Dad said.. I get things like that all the time..at worst, he is just looking after his girl!

 

Enjoy the nice relaxing weekend.. you've earned it.

 

Couldn't get to cinema last week, so will be watching Coco on Sunday!

 

Will be back at the board games tomorrow.. too cold out! lol

 

S x

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I am the type of person to overthink aha, it’ can be a nightmare! Especially in the situation I’m in now!

 

So far the bed is very comfy so I’m hoping I’ll sleep like a baby! Fresh start!

 

Oooo let me know how the film is! And I guess you’re going in for round two of losing at the board games? Haha;)

 

Here’s to a fabulous weekend!

 

B x

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My sleep improved as I didn’t wake up once but I had a really heartbreaking dream. I woke up feeling as if we broke up in that moment. I dreamt that me and him rekindled but within hours he moved on and tried to push me away, I kept fighting and fighting for him but he didn’t want to know. I remember walking through my seaside town on my own and no one noticing that I was gone.

 

It was a strange dream that I never want to go through again, it’s brought up feelings of abandonment, being pushed out and unloved. It’s weird how dreams can do this to your emotions even though that’s basically what dreams are... your subconscious (or conscious) thoughts and emotions.

 

I’m going to go out for a walk in a bit to clear my mind :)

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Had a major hiccup today. Was going through my old facebook photos and there was a comment from him... Wouldn't have bothered me if I didn't see that he's updated his profile picture to them :( It sent me flying backwards and realising that, Yep i'm never getting him back and this is it and why would anyone have me? I'm a mess!

 

I despise days like these

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  • 2 weeks later...
Hey overthinker!

 

I'm sorry that you are going through this pain but it does get somewhat easier but I'm sure you've been told this. Please do vent if you have too! We're all here to listen, support you and give advice! I know this is a really silly question but how have you been recently? Have you got people to talk to?

 

I've been finding the advice on this thread very helpful I felt so god damn good today and if I say so myself I looked it too! I know it's hard love so I'm sending you squeezy cuddles ❤️

 

I've also been listening to a lot of the Maine if you've ever heard of them. They make me want to dance round the room I've had a decent day, I'm blaring some tunes and feel like jumping around.

 

Hope your day has been ah-mazing

 

B x

 

Hiiiiiii. Haven’t been on here for quite some time...

 

Lately. I’ve been losing it, granted I started working out ... it helped but not for long.

I’d cry almost everyday.

High anxiety.

I’m just lost right now, no matter how much I vent to people. I feel like I’m reopening my emotions. Maybe I should stop [emoji30]

 

It’s just hard to get over it. Sigh.

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Just keeping moving forward and looking forward! It's hard but try not to look backwards too much and if you do fall backwards don't beat yourself up about it. If you really feel as if you are slipping into depression please go to your GP and talk about how you are feeling!

 

I kinda felt like the more I spoke about my feelings the sadder I felt because I realised how I actually felt. It was hard but at the same time it affirmed that these feelings are real, i'm not being stupid. Rant here if you need a safe space to let loose. We are all here sharing the same boat but feeling the waves differently. We are here to listen and give you advice too! As much as we can :)

 

It does get easier as time goes on. At the moment it feels like you're walking alone in the dark but there is a light at the end of the tunnel so please focus on that light :)

 

B x

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  • 3 months later...

It’s been a while... :).

 

Update on life, I am great and feeling a little more brighter about life. I haven’t spoken to him at all and tbh that’s ok. As each day passes he is slowly slipping my mind. I went out with friends and drank a little too much and they snooped on his profile, I saw pictures of him and her and I was ok with it. I had no lingering thoughts or feelings.. the only thing was how tired and stressed and worn out he looked. He didn’t look like the same person I once knew. I’m fine with that. He isn’t the same person any more. Once he left he wasn’t that person. I’m hoping this sticks cause I feel like everything feels normal again. I know Some days I might slip but I know they will pass :).

 

How is everyone else doing? I don’t think I’m quite ready to let go of this site fully. It’s such a great support network and it’s so lovely that people can help one another through stuff

 

Lots of love. Xxxx

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Hello Beeee,

 

Lovely to hear from you :)

 

Great that you are doing so well. It's far better for your healing and progress that you haven't heard from him. It's his loss, remember that!

 

It's a good outlook to have.. It is no longer the same person. The relationship is done and you are both different now.

 

This site does work so well as a support, but I guess most people finally leave, when they feel they are ready.

 

Lots of love back, beautiful.

 

S x

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I'm sorry to hear this. I know how tough it is because my ex is posting stuff on social media too, including saying that "what's coming is better than what is gone" and he recently started following "how to propose accounts" --- hurt me so bad.

 

I think first off, that you have every right to feel how you are feeling right now. Being with someone for that long, it's gotta take a toll on you to go through this break up, especially if he's being insensitive about it. But don't you wonder what else is out there? It's been 10 years with the same person, you must have been a little bored -- since 14, you have so much to explore :) I think as soon as you start dating again you will see this.

 

The fact that he is doing those things for her screams rebound. Because when a guy finds a rebound girl, he does anything and everything to convince himself, his ex, his new girl and everyone else that he is "over it" and that this is the real deal. But let me tell you, that will wear off fast. How do I know? I was the rebound girl at one point. My guy had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship and fell right onto my lap -- he was the most romantic guy I had ever met, gave me a diamond promise ring, introduced me to his family, talked about marriage and kids, told me all about how he was over his ex... a couple of months later we were done and his romantic ways were gone for good. Now he is on to his next girlfriend... doing the exact same thing to her.

 

Lastly, this may be harsh, but you can't expect anything from "anyone" - we are all just trying to be happy, including him. Sure, he can be kinder, more sensitive to you... but you guys are broken up and some people just don't care. Especially if they are caught up in a new relationship and focusing on themselves.

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I totally agree with you Fabi!. I'm just learning (and prob will still learn) that there is so much out there to explore. Outside of dating. I'm a very comfortable place right now and feel at peace with myself. I know i'm going to have some bumpy days ahead but i'm expecting that but I know it will soon pass! I'm so sorry that you was the rebound girl, I'd hate to think what that must have felt like for you! Seeing your ex post stuff like that is heart wrenching but i've come to learn that not everything that is posted on Social media is what it's cracked up to be. I felt like my ex was posting stuff knowing I would see it and knowing it wound push my buttons but what he said was not fair and didn't really needed to be posted. That being said, if he thinks that way then you are better off without him!

 

 

It's amazing isn't it Kimbles! I've re-read it myself and its like my own little journey. I feel this site is great to just let everything out and document your feelings, kinda like a digital diary. Seeing the progress is so motivating as its a reminder to yourself that you can do it!. I'm hoping that you are doing ok and that you are keeping yourself moving forward, even if its baby steps. :) We're all here to support each other so if you want any support or even just someone to chat too, I'm always up for it! :)

 

 

xxx

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  • 1 month later...

Hey guys been a while again (:

 

I’ve been keeping myself super busy (unintended) and it’s my bday today HURRAH! Drinks all day. ;)

 

Last night though I had the best early birthday present (so much sarcasm here). Found out my ex is now engaged. At first I was laughing and giggling at this but now I feel really angry? Why. How. It’s been what 6 months?, I know people get married even at that point but after a 10 year relationship it’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t be feeling angry and pissed off. He can do what he wants. I’m nearly there with healing. Haven’t had any hiccups and been out and enjoying myself greatly but this has kinda kicked me back a few knotches and I feel so angry lol I just need to rant this out

 

One thing I’ve learnt about myself is that I’m so much better off without him. I’ve learned to love myself without someone. I’ve learnt I don’t need him. I didn’t want him after he left. I just wanted the connection the intimacy between two people. Being able to hold hands. Cuddle. Etc I think that’s what I was craving, missing the most.

 

I hope everyone’s doing well?!

 

B xx

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Firstly, Happy Birthday* ~ Congrats on another lap around the sun :)

 

Secondly, when I found out my ex had bought herself a house after getting me to sell ours, it burned me and set me back a bit....

 

If finding out your ex is already engaged after such a short time didn't sting a little bit, then I don't think you'd a living, feeling being....So of course it's gonna sting a bit, I know it....

 

But still, you can probably guess what pretty much anyone here will say about somebody going full tilt into another relationship like that so soon after ending one....

 

It could work out sure, but I wouldn't go betting any money on it......

 

What I probably would bet on though is you being careful if and when that relationship does hit the skids....

 

Again, happy birthday and I'm glad to hear you're doing well BB*

 

Carus*

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Hey Carus!

 

Thank you :D . Its such a hot day here in England, i've spent most of it sweating haha!.

 

Yeah, I guess you are right! It does kinda show how either immature and/or how insecure he's feeling. I know full well that he does not know how to cope being on his own. He's said this to me and even said in the relationship 'if we ever broke up I couldn't be single, I can't be alone' So he's kinda putting all his eggs in one basket and moving on so fast, no one can keep up.

 

I did bump into his sister the other day and she scowled at me and I felt a bit upset cause I haven't done anything wrong!

 

I've had these thoughts of 'what if he does wanna come back' or 'what if he does contact me?' 'What if I see him in the street?' and i've already come to some sort of agreement with myself... lol . Don't go back there... Our relationship, in a way, was doomed to end at some point. Could have been earlier. Could have been 5 years down the line but looking at how our relationship worked it was gonna end. We just weren't right for one another and that is ok.

 

I hope you are doing well Carus?! and thank you again for the birthday wishes :D

 

B xx

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  • 2 months later...

Hey Hey Hey,

 

Rant time, I need to get this off my chest i'm all over the place. I was on my way home from the shops (mum was driving) feeling really crap as i'm on codeine and just really ill. We got to my village and my ex was behind us basically following us and up our arse, my mum noticed and he was trying to look into the car. I was sat there trying to keep cool but i was shaking and my anxiety levels are through the roof! This is the closest he's ever been to me since November. I'm frustrated. Why is he in my Village?! He lives over an hour away now. There is no connections here for him anymore?!

 

It's probably nothing but its shaken me up really bad.

 

 

B x

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It's a little bit like PTSD...a trigger if you like.

 

This is why it's recommended to remove reminders of the ex and not go looking at their social media etc etc...as doing those things keeps ripping the proverbial scab off the wound...

 

But it does also show you still have a little bit more healing to do.

 

Eventually though you hopefully won't care what he's doing or whether you see him or not...and boy do I wish we could just fast forward to those days... :-/

 

Still good to see you though*

 

(Hugs)

 

Carus*

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