It’s been a month and I find myself still thinking about the break up

[Steve Z]

So it’s officially been a month since we separated. I just deleted my social media apps..hopefully I can keep that up. I feel like I’m getting better day by day: going to the gym, eating right, trying to be positive.

 

Recently I’ve been finding myself always thinking about her. We were together for a calendar year and it just is different you know? Being with someone everyday to nothing at all. It sucks because when i walk around campus on every corner we have a memory. Even when I’m at work i drive by an amusement park that we spent most of our summer.

 

I feel like she took the path of least resistance in ending our relationship although I did not try to fight it I still just can’t believe it. She gave me a lot of different excuses and that’s why

I just can’t seem to shake her. “I’m not growing” “I just declared two more minors” “I’m busy w my sorority and you don’t like it” “we are too immature for a committed relationship” “I can’t be an individual with you” “I can’t be myself around you” “you’re holding me back”

“I’m missing out on opportunities because I’m with you” “bad timing in our lives”

It’s just really fishy and it leads me to believe there’s something else going on I don’t know about. Maybe I shouldn’t know

Just tell me straight up like I’d rather hear you say “I don’t love you anymore” than “oh school, oh sorority, oh missed opportunities”

Especially her dumping me over text. It just really shows how much she cared about us.

 

I really hate how I reacted to everything and I let it get to me. I feel like if I was patient like I had been during previous break ups everything would have worked itself out. I sit here now beating myself up over it because I know i could have handled it differently and would have had a different end result or atleast I wouldn’t regret the way I acted.

 

The funny thing is—I know I deserve better, I’m a great genuine guy, I have a big heart and those I care for I care deeeeply for. I hate it so much because I feel used and i trusted her with everything. It just sucks because I feel like that’s what pushed her away. Granted she was becoming distant again and I tried to get her back again.

 

I was very vulnerable during those last few weeks, expressing my love and being good to her. Days before the break up was The last time I saw her mom she said “I can’t wait for you to be apart of this family”. That’s what hit so hard for me because I felt secure in hearing that from her. Two days before we split she told me I was her best friend and she couldn’t see herself with anyone else.

Just baffled

 

I guess I just got comfortable.

 

I’m just super puzzled by this whole situation. Ive been making strides to move on and I’ve been doing better since I last posted. I just need to vent.

 

Can any women possibly tell me what she means by all of this or if there is someone else.

 

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[KJthereal]

I know it is hard, but try your best to stop replaying memories or over analyzing what was said. It helps if you've deleted all the text threads if you still have them in your phone. That way even when you are bored and want to you can't reread that stuff. It doesn't matter what she meant by it... you will drive yourself to insanity trying to decode another persons thoughts. Especially an ex. Just continue doing the best you can to tune these thoughts out and keep busy. It is NOT easy, but with time things fade and fade...there was nothing you can do. You know you did not cheat or lie, or cause the break up. You know that you were a decent person. All that you can do is be accountable for yourself.

 

Some people just aren't ready for a relationship, or think they are than change their minds, or maybe you just weren't the one for her. I know people say ending over text is so insensitive but honestly I rather just get a cold hard text than have to meet you face to face for you to tell me that.

 

Let go of the past and what cannot be changed and continue on your path to healing..Good luck