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I am only 12 and I have been cutting, scratching, and occasionally burning for the past year. At first, I scratched. I was 11 years old and my best friend ever had just moved halfway accross the country. I didn't know what I was doing except that I saw her doing it and she said it was what she did only once a month and its bad to do. Naturally, being the rebel I am, I didn't think I would get hurt, so I said Hold on a second. I tried it, counting each time up and down up and down up and down. I didn't know it was self injury until last month when I did a school report on it. I started out just doing it that once, but I still have a reddish purple mark from it a year ago. I did it again a month before school started, and again the first week of school. It didn't hurt anymore, so I decided to take my razor and whip it accross my skin. I did it 6 times deep in my arm and they looked like cat scratches so I got away with that one wearing short sleeve shirts. A month later, I thought that I was obese because I suddenly was popular and every one of my friends had a bf but me and I was fatter than all of them. Tht is when I stopped eating. Three weeks, almost four with just water and diet sodas. I started cutting daily. I decided to use a pin and just go over my cuts 25 times each. I brought my pin everywhere with me. I wrapped it up in hair bands so it looked norman and didnt poke my theigh. Those didnt hurt as much anymore, so I decided to take a knife. This was my first bad cut. I brought it to my ankle and pushed down hard. I dragged it accross my skin revealing a thick red stream of blood. (If this is too graphic I am sorry) Then I brought another knife to my wrist. This one had ridges. It went slower, but deeper. A month later, I decided that wasn't enough and went crazy. I found my dad's saw and did a slice. That one is practically open still and that is from 5 months ago. Then, Hanukkah came rolling around and I decided to light the candles. I dropped the match on my hand and it felt really good. My mom got scared cause I was sitting there with my hand under a lit match. Everything was okay though. I then began to burn myself with a heater that gets to 120 degrees. I cut, scratch, and burned of a daily basis. Then, my friends found out. They tried to get me to stop and for 2 months I did. Later though, one of my teachers started to scare me. They walked up to me and put their arm around me. Then they started to rub my back and shoulder. He did this a few times, and then he started complimenting me more than other kids. I decided to skip class and cut myself for the full 45 minutes. I told everyone who found out about me 2 months previously that I stopped, but one of them still knows. She has been with me on everything this year. Anyways, lately I have been stealing Exacto knifes from my science teacher's room. I feel bad for stealing, but I hate the teacher, so quickly the feeling goes away. I then drag the blade accross my arm, hip, back, leg, or anything else. I really want to stop, and right now I have a horrible urge to cut, but I dont want to because i need to stop. Can someone please help me?

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It sounds pretty bad I have two friends that used to cut and I've started to myself. There's another on here that may beable to help better than I but I will do what I can. What causes you to cut? try keeping a small note book with you at all times and a pen when you feel the urge to cut write down you're feelings at that time. If that doesn't seem to work try something else and keep trying it until you find something that does work.Find someone you can talk to easily and that you trust. Don't be afraid of getting help if you truly want to stop you're going to have to. Here's a website that may link removed

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You got some good advice.

 

Here in Japan I have had several students dealing with this issue, and encouraged them to write research papers about self-mutilation (I`m an academic writing teacher) to try to understand better what is going on. As a result of my students` efforts, I think I understand and might be able to help a little bit, even if just to listen when you need to talk. Since I`m in Japan, I`m often online during the middle of the night in the US, so just feel free to send me a private message anytime.

 

And take care, ok? The world needs more nice people and it sounds as though you are one of them.

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hey

i'm here for you, we all are. you're not alone, remember that. try your

best to stay strong and get through this, because i know you can. i've been

there. make sure you stay away from everything that can cut you. get rid

of it, throw it away. tell some people about this so that they can help you

too. stay away from anything that could trigger you. watch good movies,

write, read, listen to music, TALK TO SOMEONE, exercise, go for a walk, etc.

never be afraid to ask for help, because there are people out there that

can help. it's wonderful you want to talk to us, but there are other people

out there too i promise. you're going to be ok. if you do end up cutting,

remember, stay away from wrists and scary places like that. please visiti

this site, i think it can help you out some

Edited by kamurj
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Self-mutilation is a self-expression of feelings of lack of control over your life.

 

It is similar in nature to substance abuse, and compulsive addictions.

 

The bright side to this is that you can switch your compulsive behavior to a more positive variety of self expression.

 

I highly recommend a creative outlet of some sort -- drawing, writing, poetry, music, etc. Feel free to keep it private and personal, you don't have to show it to anyone if you don't want to.

 

Please check out link removed

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Some Guy is right...and remember that EVERY time you put off hurting yourself and change to another activity, even for a little while, you are helping your brain to re-construct the neural pathways that will help to protect you from the urge to self-injure in the future. At your age, your brain is very flexible, and you are interested in many things, so pursue whatever interests you, big or small, and keep a list of other things to do when you feel stressed...and it`s nice to know that not only will pursuing various interests help to build your character, skills, and self-esteem, but also actually helps your brain to develop in a way that will protect you from harm.

 

Best wishes to you!

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I'm not entirly sure what to tell you because i too cut and it does not sound as bad as yours but it is starting to scare e and now my blade is dull and i need to find a new one but i don't know where i could get one. I've tried so hard looking but my razors aren't doing anything for me anymore, i need something bigger, better, deeper, and i can't find anything! if you could help me that would be cool, and do you know if kitchen knives actually work because i have never tried that and i would've thought that they weren't........ so ya any help would be appreciated, im going out of my mind with nothing to cut with!

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Yeah, since some messages may have unintended consequences, why not follow the advice that the original poster has been given and then, when you have gotten a handle on your own situation, perhaps you could turn your attention to helping other people.

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Unexpected victim and others,

 

We are all here for a reason- either having climbed out of the mess and helping or being stuck in the mess or even both. The last can be a bit tricky, which is what happened here, I guess.

 

UV, you are always welcome to write on the forum- I suggest that if you are really going crazy over things, it's better to open a separate topic. You are not a failure, you trying to help shows you are a caring person. It doesn't matter if you are incapable of offering help for a while. As goddess suggested, I think there is some valid advice that has been given in this topic.

 

Let's try to refrain from calling messages 'sadistic' and 'malicious', however. Nothing in the message shows that it's ill-intended to the original poster, or meant to harm others. It was just not the best place to post it.

 

Ilse.

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Thank you for the kind correction Ilse...It was never my intention to dissuade anyone from posting. I will edit my post immediately, with heartfelt apologies to all.

 

I should have known better...sorry.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I know this is a forum about self-injury, but my second reaction was to your comment about your teacher. Something just went off in my head when I read that. It doesn't sound right.

 

But for what your posting for,

 

Professional help doesn't work for everyone, but it does wonders if you're really committed to it. A lot of professional's aren't trained to deal with it. I know I'm doing a BA in social work, and it never comes up in our cirriculum. But, if you find a social worker or psychologist or whatever who is willing to learn with you, it does wonders.

 

There are a lot of tricks that people use to help them stop. My only advice would be to make small changes when you can. No one ever stops cold turkey. Make small adjustments. If you need to today, cut 7 times instead of 10 (just an example), and then the next day cut 6 times or five times. Baby steps make it easier. Use the tricks that people talk about: ice cubes, elastics, using a red tipped marker, etc.

 

Like people have mentioned though, we're here to support. Never forget that. Even when you think you're alone.. you aren't.

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  • 2 months later...

Several people seemed to have digressed...but no matter.

Try alternatives. If they don't work, talk to someone who can help you. Not professional help, unless you prefer professionals. I'd rather people I trust. Other than that I can only wish you the best of luck.

 

Try not to go too far into cutting. I know it's really tempting, I should, I cut too, but try to keep it light. It might get even worse, and you may have to be sent to ER, which will obviously show your family and several other people that you've been cutting and injuring yourself. Even if you want your parents to know, it may be a better idea to do it in a more subtle way than at ER. Try to be careful, for your sake. Good luck!

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  • 3 weeks later...

i haven't read all of the other posts so i am sorry if i am just repeating something!!

 

well the good thing is that you want to stop so the will is there.. but it seems as if you really need proffesional help. i know when people used to tell me that i would shrug them of and get mad but it can help.

 

if you have a school councellor try talking to him/her.

 

try to channel your anger/frustration/pain through other ways like running of screaming REALLY loud i no it may sound silly but doing things like that can let all the bad things escape without having them bleed out.

 

i hope that is a help!!

 

jen

 

xxxxx

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  • 11 years later...

Sweetie..... I know what you are going thru. I used to cut myself when I was in terrible pain cuz of things people told me {mostly my family}. I knew it was wrong but i needed to let it out. My pain that is. Whether you realize it or not. You are in pain with the need to let it out. You have to find someone you can trust and tell them. You need to speak your pain. Do you realize that you cut when you are in pain? Therefor you need to express that pain with words. You have to tell someone. They will help you. Believe me, I know you hurt. I used to hurt too. You are not alone. There truly are people in this world that want to help us. Believe that you are never alone. Reach out and tell someone in your family or a friend. I can't help you from where I am now. Someone close to you can help you. Maybe, even in school, a nurse or a teacher you can trust. Best of luck little one and know you are loved....

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