kudos Posted December 23, 2017 Share Posted December 23, 2017 So, you guys have always been great, and I need some more advice! Sam and I were together for 8 months, we had a great time, but some tense times with him moving away with the military, my work was stressing me out too early on in a relationship. We were having a great time on the outside but weren't talking things through and got distant, and the LDR didn't help either. He was going on tour for 8 months, we both found this hard but again weren't communicating well, and talking about how we were feeling, but i was willing to support him while he was away. Anyway, he dumped me a week before he left as he didn't think things were right. Didn't see a future for us. Didn't love me. It hurt a lot but some points he made were true. We weren't close enough at the time to get through it at the time, even though the relationship was good, we were being pulled apart by lack of communication. It was all very friendly, no bad feelings. I let him go but said I was there if he needed me. While he was away we had occasional contact, as friends. I tried to move on, dated others, worked on why I was being so closed with others, not saying how i felt etc. At the start I was normally the one reaching out, but as time went on he was contacting me more. I put this down to him being lonely in a different country and alway replied in a friendly way to support if nothing else. He contacted more and more the closer it got to him coming home. Friends told me not to let him just come back and pick things up a if nothing happened so I was very cautious, but i did miss him. He's home now, and has been for a while but during the week is still based 100s miles away. We have been taking a lot. At times as much as when we were together, but only ever through text. The thought of even hearing his voice makes me feel very anxious! I can not get him off my mind but I'm not sure what his intentions are. Texts are mostly just friendly, but some are very caring and some flirty. A while ago I suggested we meet up over Christmas to catch up. He said he would like to but only if I'm ok with that. This very much said to me friendzone! So i had been waiting to see if he suggested it now he's back for christmas. Since he had indicated more than friends, but I'm not sure if he's just expecting friends with benifits which i don't think I want. For example he asked late the other night if i wanted to go help him decorate his Christmas tree. It was about 10pm and I chickened out! Basically, if he wanted to get back with me surely he would have mentioned it? Am i just going to get myself hurt again if i get my hopes up? I would really like to give things another try but feel as the dumpee I don't want to reach out to suggest this in case he's doesn't feel the same. I certainly don't want to give him the wrong idea about being his booty call! Would it be wrong as a dumpee to write a letter talking it all out and see what his reaction is. I'm thinking Christmas may help this not seen so weird!! Any advice much appriciated. Thank you. Link to comment
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