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I have a boyfriend which I've been dating for over a year now and it's my first ever 'serious relationship'. His personality is very closed off (or at least that's what he's been saying); like he doesn't tell people (including me) about stuff that happens to him or what he often does. I'm aware of the 2 exes that he, in the earlier days of our relationship, used to still talk to and i naturally confronted him about it since i was curious on what was going on between them. We got into a pretty major fight about it and since then, for the past probably 8 months, we haven't even touched the subject. -I now recently found out that he's been talking to at least one of them again and that he had failed to even tell her that he's not single. Again, we fought about what's right and what's wrong; should he be allowed to just talk to girls like that (especially his exes which he's admitted to thinking about a lot) without my knowledge and not letting them know that he's in a serious relationship or not? After the latest fight, he 'drew the conclusion' that he should be able to do whatever he wants to do and that he doesn't have to tell me what he's up to since he's generally not that open. It kind of just breaks my heart that he does that, because i know that his exes really wants him back and i feel like he should be able to at least mention that kind of stuff to me and let me know 'cause it feels like he's holding it secret for a reason. I know he would never cheat on me.. but my mind just splits when he likes revealing pictures of girls he know on social medias and just don't have an explanation for anything he does under that topic. -Just looking for some feedback on what i should (or shouldn't) do about it..

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How did you find out he's talking to them? It seems he's not as invested in dating exclusively as you are. He can talk to whomever he wants and you can't control that. You can only take note and decide if you want to proceed with him.

I now recently found out that he's been talking to at least one of them again and that he had failed to even tell her that he's not single. Again, we fought about what's right and what's wrong; should he be allowed to just talk to girls like that (especially his exes which he's admitted to thinking about a lot) without my knowledge and not letting them know that he's in a serious relationship or not? After the latest fight, he 'drew the conclusion' that he should be able to do whatever he wants to do and that he doesn't have to tell me what he's up to since he's generally not that open.
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This guy is a joke. He sure is having a good time playing around with women's feelings, isn't he?

He wants to pretend to be single to his ex's meanwhile he actually has a girlfriend. And then to you, his girlfriend, he is saying he wants to keep talking with them and for you to basically suck it up.

He's an a$$

You need to stop allowing this and find someone else who is more respectful.

 

It is true, he can do what he wants but you don't have to remain his girlfriend. The man is sneaky and low. If you stay with him don't expect anything else.

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Talking to an ex isn't always a sign of anything going on.

Some people do become just platonic friends after.

The big problem is his disrespect and attitude towards you.

Pretending to be single to an ex is the problem. You can't blame her for sticking around when

he is the one lying to her. He is not trustworthy.

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not letting them know that he's in a serious relationship or not?

and

he likes revealing pictures of girls he know on social medias

 

So he's not only pretending to be single to these women, he's also cruising social media, liking photos, in attempt to get these other women to give him attention.

 

The only problem here, I'm sad to say, is you, for allowing yourself to stay here. This guy will never change, and you will suffer a lifetime of being jumpy, always wondering who he's texting, who's that woman, why is he talking to her, why is she talking to him.

 

This isn't about the exes, as they don't know he's dating someone. This is about him, and ultimately, you. My advice: Go. Now.

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If it hurts you that he is doing that, then he should stop or refrain from it, so as not to hurt you or potentially lose your trust. Please speak to him directly about the issues you are dealing with, and if he insists on staying friendly with them, heck they can have him. If he truly loves you and wants this relationship long term, you also need to draw the line on what he can and cannot do. Remember, relationships are partnerships.

 

I am friendly with one of my ex's but never intentionally talk to them or seek them out just because! And most specially if my loved one is having a problem with it.

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There is nothing to argue about. Tell him it doesn't work for you to have a bf who communicates with exes and that you're walking away. I wouldn't even ask him to stop. His ethics suck and you shouldn't expect a dirtbag to magically change into a decent human being because you ask him to stop what he shouldn't have been doing this in the first place.

 

The secret of relationship happiness is to be with someone you don't want to change in major ways like this. Cut off a man as soon as you see a deal breaker and keep on searching until you find a man worthy of you. Good luck.

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