girlwhocares Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 After my boyfriend cheated on me on my break. I get anxiety over very small things - like if he doesn't message me back in a few hours. I try to control my anxiety by keeping myself busy but it still doesn't seem to work. Any help or suggestions? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giblesp Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Get a boyfriend who doesn't cheat on you, then you wont have this anxiety. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Dump him & move on. Your health is more important than this lying cheating loser! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 You don't trust him (and for good reason) and that is why you have anxiety. Why would you put yourself through that debilitating feeling for a loser who can't be faithful to you? As hard as it seems to do, you should get rid of him, go through the pain of withdrawl from having him in your life and then get a better class of guy who won't cause you to have gut reactions to the 9th when he's out of your sight. What do you mean he cheated on you on your break? What break were you on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunanoir94 Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 My S/O suffers from anxiety to this degree (I have not cheated on him, however he knows I have a colorful past, and there was an incident with his ex before me as well) and for the first while and still a bit now he becomes like this. At first it was annoying but once I was able to understand and read some peices on dating somebody who suffers from anxiety I could adapt to his needs. This means I try my best at all times to be transparent, explain what I am doing, never become annoyed if he seems to be "grilling me". Because I love him I acknowledge the fact that he suffers from it, it is real, and that I want to make him feel as comfortable as possible. I am guessing maybe you did not have this problem before the cheating incident perhaps is what triggered it full fledged, but the best that can become of this if you stayed with him is that he must understand your anxiety. If he loves you and is serious about redeeming himself for the pain he inflicted he will be like I am with my SO - accomodating, understanding and taking it serious that you may need extra reassurance or an explanation if you don't get a text back. If he truly loves you and feels remorseful he will do everything to make you feel at ease. IMO if infidelity is a factor and the two people get back togehter, the cheater needs to do MAJOR damage control. It's nautral for you to feel insecure, anxious, worried, because he has hurt you and left you vulnerable. You let him back in and the least he can do is try to patch up these wounds and understand how you feel. If he leaves you constantly feeling this way I would say maybe you need to evaluate the relationship. I don't judge people who get back after infidelity it happens alot I just think it causes major shifts in the relationship and the person who cheated has to do a whole lot to prove why they deserve to be back in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs34836 Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 I'm married to a man who cheated on me when we were dating and then he broke things off. I've forgiven him but honestly the feeling of being 2nd never really goes away unless you make yourself feel like #1. Which is hard when someone tries to make you feel like you're not. I would be very cautious with this guy. He probably has issues with impulse control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 You don't trust him (and for good reason) and that is why you have anxiety. Why would you put yourself through that debilitating feeling for a loser who can't be faithful to you? As hard as it seems to do, you should get rid of him, go through the pain of withdrawl from having him in your life and then get a better class of guy who won't cause you to have gut reactions to the 9th when he's out of your sight. What do you mean he cheated on you on your break? What break were you on? He told her he wanted a break, so that he could sleep with another girl. OP, as everyone advised in your other thread: DUMP HIM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 I'm married to a man who cheated on me when we were dating and then he broke things off. I've forgiven him but honestly the feeling of being 2nd never really goes away unless you make yourself feel like #1. Which is hard when someone tries to make you feel like you're not. I would be very cautious with this guy. He probably has issues with impulse control. Why on earth would you marry him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfdog Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 In my experience you are better moving on. Yes, maybe he will never do it again but there are plenty of good people out there that would not do it to begin with. It is possible you'll torture yourself with worry if you stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpg.a7437edbcaa5924fb077b36bf6653986.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.65c4c15f72ce59b381ef6ad97046db0f.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.619cbf9ada685acba712967edfb3e7aa.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.