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Seeking some assistance


westernsun2008
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My boyfriend and I have recently been having issues lately about a couple things. He’s a great guy and it’s not end of the world arguments but it has led me to thinking if we are compatible.

 

To explain. I am currently working on my masters in social work and have been sharing with him what I’ve been learning through my research and teachings. Anyways we find ourselves arguing about these bits of my learnings where he does not agree with it and tells me it is my opinion what I’m learning or that it is plainly not true. (Example topics: institutional racism, the homeless being lazy or drug addicts, Europeans staying in the us without legal status) he says none of this is true and that research is built on lies.

I don’t really know what to think or feel or do. At times he is willing to hear me out and then at times he just argues that I’m wrong or what I’m learning isn’t real.

Any advice?

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Well, I wonder if he's arguing with you for the sake of arguing or if he's trying to belittle you and your studies. Or is this an issue of Conservatism versus Liberalism? Perhaps you can't and shouldn't discuss political issues with him, much like people say you shouldn't talk religion or politics with family and guests. As an aside, if you do enter the field of social work, you may find what school is teaching you will be different than things in the real world.

 

Try staying away from political issues and see if things are better in the relationship.

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Discuss/debate these things with fellow students, professors, a study group, etc. Don't bring work/school home. He's entitled to his opinion. Don't insist you're right because you're studying it,etc.

I am currently working on my masters in social work and have been sharing with him what I’ve been learning through my research and teachings. Anyways we find ourselves arguing about these bits of my learnings where he does not agree with it and tells me it is my opinion what I’m learning or that it is plainly not true.
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This sounds like differences in political opinions.

 

Your field happens to be politically contested over a lot. I can see how he doesn't except things you say as fact.

 

If this is what you want to do for the rest of your life I don't see how you could be with someone who contests you about it if it is something you want to talk about often.

 

I don't believe a lot of things people erroneously call facts.

 

I guess he is a bit more conservative than you?

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Is he really just saying that's it's all lies or is he trying to convey to you that you shouldn't accept what you are being taught as written in stone truths? A lot of research is a bit like the earth is flat concept. It is accepted as fact until there is new research and new information and new methods developed that contradict current research results and theories.

 

I guess only you know if this is going to be a deal breaker for you or not. If talking about this stuff is important to you and you want someone who agrees with you, this relationship probably isn't the one for you. Does he even like getting into those topics or is he just humoring you? Any other ways these difference of opinion manifest in your relationship outside of these debates?

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