Shocked

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he wants to keep it casual and focus on his studies/career. It does not sound like a reconciliation. If you ask for or want more, he'll end it again. Are you ok with that?

[katrina1980]

It sounds like he wants to keep it casual and focus on his studies/career. It does not sound like a reconciliation. If you ask for or want more, he'll end it again. Are you ok with that?

 

Oh I disagree, I think he does want "more" but he's being prudent right now.

 

A man typically doesn't buy a woman expensive gifts like an Iphone if he just wants to be "friends" or keep it casual. They also don't reveal deeper feelings and tell them they "love" them as he did (post 20).

 

I agree that if she agrees to "more" and they go back to how they were, he will eventually feel "stressed" and end it again.

[Jfunbug]

Hello everyone,

 

Thank you for your advice. You all bring up great valid points.

 

“Sadly that may be the dynamic here too as, per OP's post 19, it appears she is giving him and their RL a second chance.”—I’m not sure at this point if I want to give him a second chance, but I told him I would be open to starting out as friends. I told him I am not ready to jump back into this right away. I told him what I expect from him IF AND WHEN we get back together and anything else would be non-negotiable.

 

“Oh I disagree, I think he does want "more" but he's being prudent right now. A man typically doesn't buy a woman expensive gifts like an Iphone if he just wants to be "friends" or keep it casual. They also don't reveal deeper feelings and tell them they "love" them as he did (post 20). I agree that if she agrees to "more" and they go back to how they were, he will eventually feel "stressed" and end it again.”—Yes you could be right. I have told him that if he feels stressed and ends it again, he will never see me again. If it happens once…..

 

“Op: I don't think he has commitment issues (and Katrina, your friend has huge codependency issues if she'd keep giving someone who keeps breaking up a chance past break up No.1) but rather he just wasn't connecting with you on an emotional level. It happens and I'm sorry that it happened this time but this will give you an opportunity to be with someone that doesn't want to go out every weekend with his friends to clubs.”—I agree. He has not been clubbing that much I have told him that we are going to have serious ground rules if and when we get back together, no exceptions!

“Good luck OP.”—Thank you. I have not made any big decisions right now. I have made a good life for myself, as I feel like the housecat that has been allowed to go outside and now the owner wants the cat back in the house. But the cat enjoys the outside world!!!!!

I have not opened his gifts yet as I do not feel comfortable using them at this juncture. I have NEVER reached out to him since our break up, he has always initiated contact.

 

I am going out with all my girls tonight for Valentine’s Day and he has texted me “Happy Valentine’s day! Just a bit early (With a kissy face) yesterday and early this morning a happy Valentine’s Day photo…I wished him back both times but in a casual way.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. It sounds like you are handling things very well.

I am going out with all my girls tonight for Valentine’s Day and he has texted me “Happy Valentine’s day! Just a bit early (With a kissy face) yesterday and early this morning a happy Valentine’s Day photo…I wished him back both times but in a casual way.

[Jfunbug]

Thank you Wiseman:friendly_wink: