I can’t get over this short term relationship

[aismyname]

I began talking to this guy in July and quickly our relationship developed into something more.

 

I told him this was the first time I was in a relationship so, he tread carefully with me.

 

He broke up with me last week. I think it was due to a multitude of reasons

- I can’t date. My parents are Muslim and so this was all under wraps. They don’t even know he exists really. However, if it came to a point, I would have came clean and made my plea to them. Anyhow, this meant I couldn’t see him often. Basically the root of the problem.

- I was busy. I focused mainly on my classes and I could’ve gotten away to be with him but my studies got in the way.

- I inadvertently tried to force my feelings on him. Since this was my first relationship I made the mistake of being too emotionally honest with him too early. I should have taken it slow but my own selfish reasons and insecurities got in the way.

- Personally, he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. He told me that straightforwardly..

- He lost his feelings for me. He didn’t admit this but it was evident. Due to the reasons listen above, it was evident the circumstances and my mistakes pushed this.

 

I feel awful. I asked him if I gave him space, would we be able to pursue this in the future. Obviously, he said no. I understood his reasons, I made my case and tried to reconcile it but I knew I had to follow his wishes and it’d be cruel of me not to consider his feelings.

 

I admit my mistakes and so did he. I just have this false hope that he’ll come back to me when I know all too well he’ll find someone else. The thought of him with someone else just kills me honestly I feel awful.

 

I know it takes time to heal but I just feel so bad. He’s the first man I truly cared about and I know I have to let him go if I care. I know I have to let him go since he doesn’t feel the same.

 

If anyone has any advice for me to move on, that would be great. Please don’t ridicule me for my situation. I knew I would go through this but I didn’t realize how deep my feelings would be. I thought maybe if we did go long enough I could eventually work up the nerve to make this a public relationship. He says he isn’t the best for me and I know that’s probably true. The pain is unbearable and I know if certain variables were different it could’ve worked out.

[Hollyj]

I don't understand why you would pursue someone outside your religion? It seems that you are setting yourself up for failure. Most men are not going to understand the dynamics, of a girl from a religious family. Make it easy on yourself.

 

He is done. Delete his info, keep busy with friends and school, and you will move on in time.

 

How many times did you see him?

[aismyname]

I know I know. But personally, I’m not that religious really and it’s because if my family and that I live with them so I had to keep it under wraps. I know it was irresponsible of me but I didn’t care you know. I’m sorry if I seem like a whiner here. He knew from the beginning but most of the time it was due to me being busy. Anyhow, you’re right, i let my emotions get in the way.

 

I saw him for about 6-7 months. I know, not long but things escalated pretty quickly and this was the first guy I’ve been with so that’s why I’m taking it pretty hard right now. You’re right though. I’m sorry if I sound like an idiot..

[aismyname]

Also, I saw him a couple times a week. Then it reduced to once a week due to my work. But I’d talk to him every single day. For majority of the day, I wouldn’t go one hour with some type of contact from him or me contacting him.

[Hollyj]

Honestly, your level of phone contact is unhealthy. How did you have time to do anything?

 

Did you have friends, and a social life outside of this guy? This guy was on the periphery of your life, and through YOUR actions, you showed him that he was not a priority.

[aismyname]

Look, I’m just trying to get over this guy okay. I was taken aback by the level of phone contact as well. I didn’t really expect him to text me frequently but it just developed that way. He texted me a lot and then I just reciprocated that.

 

I know it was my fault okay. I was never trying to play the blame game and blame him for this really. And I told you I had classes so I was busy with majority of my classes and yes I did have a social life okay.

 

I don’t understand why you’re acting passive aggressive. I understand my mistakes and the meaning of this post wasn’t to try to blame him or anything. I’m just asking for advice to move on and I feel bad for my actions okay. Please if you’re going to ridicule me for every aspect of this relationship then don’t reply.

 

 

Like I said, I recognize my mistakes and it was my fault. I am not blaming him at all. I just know that I can’t work this out with him and I would like advice to move on. But if you’re going to be rude to me then don’t reply. If you don’t mean to be rude I apologize but your language is really insensitive.

[aismyname]

Also I exaggerated the contact on the phone but we did text everyday. Like I said, in the beginning I’m not the type to text people often. And when he’d frequently contact me I found it surprising and it just continued that way until the final days

[aismyname]

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