naturally Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 I dated this girl for 2 years, we loved each other very much but we were not good for each other, or at least we never successfully addressed the issues that plagued our relationship. I could not believe it when she decided to cut ties. We're both in college, it was long distance (2.5 hour drive). She broke things off with me in June, but then reached out to me after 2 weeks and we started dating again. We had a great summer, but then she broke up with me again at the beginning of September. I went No Contact, deleted her on Facebook and Instagram and started the process of moving on with my life. I was doing really well, to the point where I didn't think about her much and I was happy with myself and my new life. But last Thursday she texts me "Hey" at 1am. JUST "hey" nothing else. I didn't respond. It was probably a drunk text, it was a breadcrumb, she was either lonely, wanted an ego stroke, or things weren't going well for her new guy. I find out from my friend she's been dating this other guy for a month. I never responded to her, she doesn't deserve a response, and if she really wanted to talk she can text me sober with more substance than "hey." But subconsciously I was building up hope of reconciliation from it without knowing it. I began thinking things must not being going well with the new guy and she'll probably reach out again to reconcile. Today was bad. I saw her social media and pics of her and the other guy and I started getting emotional. She actually posted a pic with the other guy 2 days after she texted me. WHY DID SHE TEXT ME? HOW CAN I GO BACK TO HOW I FELT BEFORE SHE TEXTED ME? I feel like I'm back at square one. I need help understanding why she would text me. I already know not to contact her. I hate how I have to go through this again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 I know it feels like square one but it isn't. This will pass much faster than the initial break up. It's just how feelings work. We would like healing to always be a clear straight line moving forward but it's almost always bumpy. We feel better for awhile and then something happens and we feel worse for awhile. You are still healing. And you'll feel the way you were feeling before again. And then you'll probably run into something that makes you feel hurt again. But it gets easier and easier. I'm sorry that it's hurting for you now. You are doing all the right things. Don't contact her. Take care of yourself. And be kind to yourself. This isn't a failure on your part, this is what working through it feels like. It just sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief85 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 She's probably making sure you're aware that she's still there. Who likes to be forgotten? I had the same thing, one week NC I got a "Yo"! Sadly, I responded and that turned into a month long string along. You need more than a "Hey" for a reconciliation, if that's what you want. Laugh it off as a sad attempt to get your attention pal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 I agree with Rosephase. Though it might not seem like it at the moment, you will bounce back quicker. Block her number so she can't do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naturally Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 Thanks for the responses, I really appreciate the support. It's been such a long journey for me and the initial emotions I went through today have for the most part subsided. I was stunned to see her text, its been three months after all. A part of me wants reconciliation, the part where love and hope still exists for her. But I believe most of me just wants to move on. If she reaches out again and explicitly says she wants to reconcile, I would consider it, but until then, I will do everything in my power to move on. I think she's just now starting to feel the consequences of breaking up with me, and I will keep it that way. I won't give her the satisfaction of hearing from me, she probably misses me but that doesn't mean I'm going to be in her life. When she broke up with me she was willing to lose ALL OF ME. I'm out of her life. And at the end of the day it's not about her, it's about my own healing. I come first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naturally Posted December 12, 2017 Author Share Posted December 12, 2017 Alright I think I'm starting to go crazy. I've been trying to keep my resolve but honestly feel like I've taken 5 steps backwards in terms of healing. I wake up every morning sad bc the first thing that pops into my head is my ex, I've started to get dreams/nightmares about her. I need answers.. Why did she text me "hey"? After 3 months exactly of NC and at 1am, and considering she's been seeing this other guy since 1.5 months after the BU. I know "hey" should just be seen as saying hi and nothing more, but it's been 3 months of absolutely NC and the last time we spoke wasn't necessarily a good conversation (it was the BU). She's also a very proud person, so considering all of this, I can't help but see her texting me out of the blue as something more. I know her, and I can't help but reach the conclusion that it's bc she's emotional/misses me/it was a bumpy patch w this new guy she's seeing. And the fact that she posted an instagram pic w him (it's a big deal trust me) 2 days after she texted me/I ignored her makes me think she's compensating for me ignoring her. It makes me think that since I didn't respond, she took it as I don't want anything to do with her and that she should just stick with this other guy. I didn't respond bc I'm putting my healing first, but obviously a part of me still wants reconciliation and so I don't want her to think I don't want anything to do with her. A part of me still loves her. I'm so lost. it's been 12 days since that text and nothing has been said between us if that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
android123 Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 She did it because you're still on her mind. She's too selfish to ever admit it, though. That's just how selfish people are. Leave it alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Everlong13 Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 You probably popped into her head and she decided to reach out (she may have been drinking, given it was 1am). Try not to read too much into it. I know that's hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Here lies the issue with not having someone blocked, and them being able to get to you. Now you are wondering what she wanted because you didn't respond. Texting "hey" does not mean much, especially at 1am. It could be she was bored, drunk, lonely, maybe she had an argument with her BF and thought of you. What I can say is that her motive at 1am was not to reconcile with you. Replying would be a fatal mistake at this point. You aren't over her, you've already had a set back by seeing her text and pic, And it will only leave you more confused than you already are right now. Don't look at her social media either. You will open a can of worms if you send her a text. She has a BF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Don't reply mate. I know it's hard, but it's just harmful (but meaningless) breadcrumbs! Keep going and stay strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ganamede Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Don't reply mate. I know it's hard, but it's just harmful (but meaningless) breadcrumbs! Keep going and stay strong. 100% agree... Ignoring breadcrumbs is a life skill you need to strengthen... Take it from me... I've had a mountain of them thrown my way and didn't react. I'll tell you something that you must believe... And it will help relieve you present situation.... Here it is ..... It was an unintentional text... Simply a mistake... Believe what I tell you and you'll be fine !!! BTW... These things can and do happen as I accidentally dialed my exes home number on the weekend when attempting to reach a friend of mine whose number is similar. To my relief I got the voicemail and that's when I realized my mistaken dial and promptly hung up. Cheers OP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwoLoveHard Posted December 13, 2017 Share Posted December 13, 2017 Alright I think I'm starting to go crazy. I've been trying to keep my resolve but honestly feel like I've taken 5 steps backwards in terms of healing. I wake up every morning sad bc the first thing that pops into my head is my ex, I've started to get dreams/nightmares about her. I need answers.. Why did she text me "hey"? After 3 months exactly of NC and at 1am, and considering she's been seeing this other guy since 1.5 months after the BU. I know "hey" should just be seen as saying hi and nothing more, but it's been 3 months of absolutely NC and the last time we spoke wasn't necessarily a good conversation (it was the BU). She's also a very proud person, so considering all of this, I can't help but see her texting me out of the blue as something more. I know her, and I can't help but reach the conclusion that it's bc she's emotional/misses me/it was a bumpy patch w this new guy she's seeing. And the fact that she posted an instagram pic w him (it's a big deal trust me) 2 days after she texted me/I ignored her makes me think she's compensating for me ignoring her. It makes me think that since I didn't respond, she took it as I don't want anything to do with her and that she should just stick with this other guy. I didn't respond bc I'm putting my healing first, but obviously a part of me still wants reconciliation and so I don't want her to think I don't want anything to do with her. A part of me still loves her. I'm so lost. it's been 12 days since that text and nothing has been said between us if that helps. Lemme tell you OP. I know exactly what you're going through and at this point you were stronger than me. I got a very similar text and I was not strong enough to ignore those stupid breadcrumbs. I was foolish enough to say, "Hey, funny you texted I just had a dream about you." ONLY to have her push me away shortly after. Having dreams ... waking up to the thought of an ex and sleeping to the thought of an ex is horrible. It will go away but the first thing you need to do is stop trying to look for the answer into WHY she texted you. Let's be honest, what if you got to know the truth into why she texted you and it was not to reconcile? You'd be destroyed. Hurt. Angry. Sometimes not knowing why is a blessing in disguise when it comes to matters like this. Lastly, this is the second time in a span of a few months that she has broken up with you... and a part of you wants to reconcile? I am not saying I too have not thought about reconciling with an ex who broke me multiple times but you need to come to the realization if you really want this girl or not. Who is to say that she won't break your heart again? Save yourself the pain and simply let go of that hope. I know it's hard but the whole idea of you wanting to know the answer is because you are HOPING it was to reconcile. Deep down, you know that if she wanted to reconcile, it would have been more then a simple "Hey." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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