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My good friend's life was taken by her boyfriend. Words can't express how I feel.


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This past Saturday, I laid my good friend to rest after 5 years of friendship. When I first moved to this state, we met in college at her favorite place - the library. We lost touch for a little bit but came together in 2012. It may not seem like a lot of time together, but we were practically inseparable and soul mates. Our friendship was special to me. She and I talked every day up until a couple of days before her death. I saw her for my birthday a few weeks before that and gave a tight hug when we said goodbye.


When news broke about her death, I was shocked, numb, empty, angry, heartbroken. I bawled like a baby. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt her.


I'm glad I was brave enough to speak about her, to honor her memory and tell the world how much our friendship meant to me. Although I had to cut it short because I was crying uncontrollably, I felt ok with what I shared.


When her service finished that afternoon, it still felt surreal. I realized that she will not be here when I graduate next May from my Master's program. She won't be here for those special moments when I get married or have a child. Her absence is something I can't accept. She's not here on this earth and it makes me so furious.


Words can't express how I felt when I heard the news. She was such a caregiver and really made everyone feel so important. Maybe one day we will meet again. I hope she will continue to guide me throughout this life.


I've played a lot of chess, read books and started writing in my journal to help me cope with this tragic loss. I also start therapy tomorrow.


Have you ever lost a good friend or someone close to you? How did you cope?

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I am so, so very sorry for your loss. ((()))


Yes, I had a similar experience in 2014; my friend was murdered by her husband and left behind five young children (I started a thread on it if you’d like to read it to see what I went through in more detail). I can empathize and relate to many of the feelings and emotions you are experiencing. It’s a truly terrible loss.


My friend was training for her first triathlon when she was killed. As a way for me to honor her, I signed up for and completed MY first triathlon. During the race I wore a picture of her on my shirt that read “In Honor of Michelle”. After the race I went out to eat with my family, and then my sister and I stopped by Michelle’s grave to lay flowers. It was a very meaningful experience for me to honor her in that way.


We all grieve differently. I think you are doing the right things journaling, playing chess, reading books, and starting therapy; those all sound like healthy coping behaviors. Perhaps adding something that gets you physically moving, such as a sport or exercise routine, to help physically move the energy and emotions through the body, might also help.


Again, I am so sorry for your immense loss. Big hugs to you. ((()))

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