Gettinup Posted December 2, 2017 Share Posted December 2, 2017 Hi all, It seems like it’s been awhile again since I last posted a thread, but I hit a milestone and have been feeling a bit up and down this past week. Just felt like writing it all out so I apologies if it’s a bit long. Just to recap; split with ex of 10 years, lived together for 8, brought our first house 2 years ago, 3.5 months since split, 1.5 month NC…. I think, lost count. The milestone comes in the fact that I have just completed and handed my dissertation in for a Master’s Degree I have been studying for the past 3 years. I know I should be happy with this right? But I was looking forward to this time for so long as I was excited to be getting a chance at spending time with the ex where we could travel a bit more and visit some exotic places now that my tuition was paid. So the realization that that’s not going to happen now has had me staring at the grey clouds that have been forming in my head. I know I can still do those things in some capacity but not as I originally thought I would be. Also I know these grey clouds will pass but for now they have knocked me back. Generally I’ve just been getting on as best as I can post BU, I’ve been throwing myself at hobbies and interest I enjoy doing, guitar lessons, climbing, and running clubs, forming some new social circles, and spending time with current friends and family. It feels tough going sometimes but nothing is instant really is it. I know I’m in a better place now than I was the first few weeks of the BU; but I am by no means healed yet as you just can’t erase 10 years in a blink, not unless there’s some new pill out or some form of surgical 2x4 to the side of the head? Thing is I quite like this new person I am becoming through discovering myself again, previous to my current ex I was with someone for 5 years so for the first time in a long time I’m living by myself and getting to know me. This is both exciting and scary as when the storm clouds form I catch myself ruminating on the past with the ex and what we would be doing if here in the house together. I never thought I would be in this position again at 35 (dont feel it or look it wondering if I’ll ever find someone to share a life with, but that’s the universe for you, likes to keep you on your toes. Finally for anybody who managed to make it all the way through my scribing’s let’s end on a positive. You just got to let time do its thing and get out there and live and make life happen. You were a person before your ex and you will be a person after, say yes to everything and take chances get messy and make mistakes along the way its all good. I wish everyone well with their healing and keep pushing forward one day at a time. Gettinup Link to comment
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